My family thinks that I have ASD?

Post Reply New Topic

I would try talking to a school counselor, particularly about the financial aid situation, but also about the anxiety (if there is no school psychologist you can speak to). Tell her enough about your family to make her understand the need for discretion.

I was always a really happy little girl who was very family oriented. That all changed when I started 2nd grade in that elementary school. Ever since then, I have been very emotionally distant around them. I am completely capable of opening up and showing more emotion, but I put this persona up around them because I don't feel safe around them (I get panic attacks when I see them sometimes). I suspect this makes me come across as very odd, especially to those who don't see me as much and once knew me as this bubbly extrovert.

I itch to have some true independence. I often check online counters to see how many days left until I go off to college. I truly believe that being on my own is the only way for me to grow and develop as a person right now.

I tried the high school ones before, good god they were a flat out waste of time. It was like my words fell on deaf ears because they were never discrete. Every word I said got back to my mom or grandparents which made my life so much worse. They just don't have the qualifications to speak about anything beyond the classroom. We don't have a psychologist either.

All my counselor told me on aid was file the FASFA form and they will give you money. I don't think my mom, as single parent, who makes $65k is going to qualify for a pell grant.

A diagnosis is not just for getting access to medication. I'm European, so I'm often weirded out by how relaxed Americans are about taking medication for all kinds of issues.

Honestly, unless your anxiety is debilitating, you might as well work on learning yoga, meditation and mindfulness. Those things are quite effective for managing anxiety, and don't have nasty side effects. Taking drugs for mental health issues when you are 17 and your brain is still developing, is not a great idea. You have the personality you have, and you will have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. There are no quick fixes.

The point of a diagnosis is to identlfy which issues are a problem for you, and which aren't. A lot of both lay people and medical professionals have some strange ideas about autism, and a lot don't seem to quite comprehend the enormous variety within the spectrum. Sometimes if people think you're autistic, they will assume you have problems with things that aren't a problem for you, and ignore issues that actually are a problem for you, which don't fit with what their idea of what autism is.

What is apparent from your posts is that there is an enormous gap between how you see yourself and how your family sees you. Not uncommon in teenagers, but in your family it is extreme. I second seeing a counselor. If not at school, then somewhere else. Church is probably not a good idea, they tend to avoid conflict at all costs. I understand that if you get a diagnosis, your family might feel pressured into giving you medication, because that will effectively "shut you up", and the rest of the world can go on ignoring your problems. I understand that your family doesn't want that for you. They seem to care about you.

You seem to have a large family that is very involved in your life. Where is your dad, what's his opinion on this?

I wonder that they won't let you have access to anything. What are they worried you might do? I taught myself to ride a bike all by myself when I was about 7 years old. The same with cooking, around the age of 12-13. Nobody prohibited me anything. Either your family is absurdly overprotective, or there is something going on that you are not seeing yourself.

Those mindful techniques you listed would be great for the long term.

That therapist I had for a short time who wanted to get a member of my family involved (she didn't care who), but everyone refused. They all basically said, "she is the one with issues, not us." Their view is the same with the school counselor. I don't think I'm ready to go back to that traditional approach to therapy. If I were to go back, I would have to shop around (something they won't let me do) and find someone more like me.

It's mainly just my grandpa's, step grandma, and mom, and aunt. I only speak my great grandma once a year, but she calls my mom often, asks about me, and shares her opinions a lot.

My dad is a hardcore alcoholic living on his own with a nurse. He was around me more as a kid than anyone else and gets absolutely enraged when people claim I am on the spectrum. His nurse finds it pretty ridiculous too. She just says this to me: "They don't understand you because you are a lot like your dad when he isn't drinking. Introverted, sharp, and funny (dark humored)."

I do think there is fear that I could end up like him.

Woah. The thing with the bike My grandpa helped me learn to ride when I was 5 so that experience you've written there really touched me. Almost going to cry.

I'm dumbfounded they won't leave you food to cook.

Hmmm. This is difficult.

I think the American users are best to advise. They know how the system works better than me being from the UK.

Ok, I see two possible explanations:

A) You are not autistic, but you are struggling with anxiety and a strange family. If it is really true that the problem is with you, then you could use therapy. If the problem is with your family, you could still use some therapy. Not all therapists are a good fit, sometimes you have to spend some time looking for one that 'gets' you.

B) You are autistic, and nobody is working on teaching you life skills or deal with the anxiety issues that are very common with teenagers on the spectrum. Autistics often mature late, which is why you often seen a combination of intellectual precociousness and emotional immaturity in teenagers on the spectrum

A) and B) can't be true simultaneously, but in either case, seeing a therapist would be a good idea. I don't know why your family thinks ignoring your issues will solve your problems. If they are really afraid you're going to end up like your dad, now's the time to work on the anxiety.

Be aware that there are a lot of autistics with drink and drug problems. Typically they start doing it to deal with anxiety, and then they end up having two problems: anxiety and addiction. The drug/alcohol abuse makes the anxiety worse, which causes the person self-medicate more, which makes the anxiety worse again....Please don't even start that cycle. As I don't know your dad, I've no idea whether this applies to him, but intelligence can cover up a lot of autistic traits.

The worrisome thing is when you have a family where the one person you feel you resemble most is a person with big problems; there is an urge to copy that family member because you feel close to him, yet you know intellectually that this is a spectacularly bad idea. It's the same in my family; I resemble my dad the most, but I can't really learn much life skills from him. He doesn't have serious problems like alcoholism or mental illness, though.

You're going to have to have a serious conversation with your family about the fact that they all think you have serious issues, yet they don't want you to get any help for those issues. That doesn't make sense. The only thing that makes sense is that they worry the only help you'll get is medication, which might propel you into substance abuse. That is not an unreasonable fear. It's happened before.

You are old enough to speak candidly with your mom about these issues. I don't know why everyone else ought to have an opinion, though.