Afraid of Facebook/social media?

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Friends seem to talk to me more in real life than on Facebook for some reason. But I think I got into a habit of oversharing stuff on Facebook and has caused friends to unfollow me, although they would never want to say that they unfollowed me. But I wasn't born yesterday.

On Facebook I have:-

-friends I met from college/volunteer jobs who I stayed in touch with
-friends from work (co-workers)
-family
-friends of family
-some people who I don't really know well but know of
-my boyfriend's family and some friends of his (my boyfriend isn't on Facebook)

So, yeah I got quite a lot in my friends list. Adds up to a 100 or more.

I had the very same experience. A rush of panic, merely thinking about it, even while having turned off all of the notification settings. Something very important that I have learned about this type of response, which is very much like, if not the same, as the fight or flight response _ It can lead to some pretty profound physical issues, particularly related to the endocrine system. I deleted Facebook after a few weeks, time, for this very reason. I became very ill as the result of intense anxiety, in the past, and, finally managed to repair my adrenal functioning, thyroid (yes, it is possible) and normalize my hormone functioning. Never again, will I allow myself to be repeatedly triggered, unnecessarily, if I have the ability to take control of it. Indeed, I experience similar or same responses in other environments as well. Including, here, on WP, but, to a far lesser degree than it had with Facebook. I have certain friends here, who have proven to me that they care about me, they understand, because, they too, experience the same or similar responses to the same sort of stimuli, and I can confide in them, express myself when I a feel anxious, worried, nervous alone. This makes it possible for me to feel more at ease, here. Some things are out our our power to control, however, some situations we do have the power to control. Just my 2 cents. I have both, social anxiety and generalized anxiety, in case it is of benefit to you/your situation, to know. (Apologies if this has already been covered. I have only read your initial post thus far). x

I don't have a Facebook account, have never been interested to have one. At some point, I almost had one because of work and peer pressure but managed to avoid it.

I am not afraid of it. I just don't like it.

I had the same problem with my therapist. I fired her. If your therapist knows that you are not NT, she should treat you differently. Tell her that. If she can't do that, consider finding another therapist. Honestly, NTs are so used to assuming that everyone thinks like them, it may be impossible for her to change.

As for keeping in touch with family, what about just calling, emailing, chatting, or writing letters? Even if you start using your Facebook account more often, you don't have to use it the same way other people do. If it gives you anxiety, try reminding yourself that staying in touch with family is the most important part, not acting "normal" on Facebook. You don't even have to stay logged in for long; you can just quickly check your "friends" for updates and reply to messages.

I have real problem understanding this , especially as I have just started therapy. I have no Dx that state I am not NT.
Is there a big problem with a therapist treating you like an NT if your not , can this have a detrimental effect ?

I'm pretty sure I don't think like a 'normal' person but still may be NT , I won't know till I am assessed.

Your not missing out dude imo

I never even heard of Facebook until 2008. I wasn't interested in it, but when people at my voluntary job kept asking me if I had Facebook, I started to think maybe I should give it a try, just to see what it was all about. So in 2011 two of my friends helped me set up a Facebook account and I found it was more interesting than emailing. As the months went on I found myself getting more and more into it, although I did start to overshare my mind like it was a diary, which, looking back, was pretty embarrassing. Nowadays I try to control what I share on there.

I do not and will never use any of it, it is an accident waiting to happen if you ask me.

That is interesting that you had two friends help with setup. All I had was an account of some friends who had logged the progress of a new member at getting his stuff posted, trying to reverse-engineer a users manual. As far as I can tell, none of my former acquaintances ever knew I was on Facebook for a while.

This echoes the OP's concern - if you are not good at social relations, it gets even more obvious with software not set to expect you.

It seems to me that the biggest negative on Facebook is that cordial disagreement with anything or anyone is immediately taken as a personal insult on the original poster. The other bugbear is that some people post pictures of every damn meal they ever eat, happily they are a minority though.

Facebook is the digital recreation of everything I hated about high school. Not afraid, just not interesting in any way, shape, or form.

This is part of it, actually. If there was a user's manual to Facebook, I would read it cover to cover before doing anything. As it is, I'm lost - maybe it's self-explanatory to other people, but it's all Greek to me. And that plays into the panic. Are there Facebook for Dummies videos somewhere that are up to date?

I barely used Instagram and Twitter. I just don't really like social media that much. But I like being here on WrongPlanet and the WrongPlanet IRC chat!

-LegoMaster2149 (Written on September 14, 2017)

I was thinking about this.
I am not on facebook, but I get a similar reaction to any form of communication coming at me.
I can't answer a ringing phone, and even getting a text or email, I feel a sense of avoidance. I don't want to do it. If my phone goes off for a text I get that same panicked feeling of No! Get away!
I think it's a communication thing, but also being unable to deal with things coming at me when I don't expect it and may not be in a position to deal with it. I have to concoct plans to deal with things - like making a call, which I don't like either, I have everything scripted and written out - questions I want to ask so I won't miss anything, paperwork needed like numbers or names, notes on what to say. If a communication is coming at me, there is no opportunity to properly prepare to handle it correctly.
Maybe something similar for you?
Why do you want to force yourself to deal with or overcome it? There are plenty of ways to be more social that may not elicit this uncomfortable response. If it makes you that uncomfortable, I just wouldn't do it were I you.