Feeling insecure after reading this message board

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I think it's also because I have trust issues with strangers, meaning I think people are nasty. This is triggered off by a few bad experiences that have happened to me when out in public. I take everything people do personally, and I find it really hard to change the way I think. I even tell myself that I am not a target, but I still go back to believing that I am the most biggest freak in the world.

One simple thing can trigger off self-doubt for me. Like when I'm walking along a quiet street on a rainy day, and there is a huge puddle in the road. Before I approach it I see cars slowing down or avoiding the puddle, but then as soon as I get to it, a car speeds up and soaks me from head to toe. This causes me to dwell on it for the rest of the day. I feel like I'm a target, that car drivers go "look at that stupid girl walking, let's give her a good soaking!" Then I think to myself "would they have done it if I was prettier?" I don't think I'm ugly but I do get self-conscious about my looks. If only people thought twice about their childish acts and actually considered my feelings.

I made friends with people whom are also different.

This all seems to be describing social anxiety. People with SA always think others are watching them and judging them and are focusing on their flaws and will even obsess about incidents and worry what others will think. Yes there are judgmental people out there but lot of people don't care so therefore they don't even worry about being judged or not or how they look to others.

Once you stop caring, all this goes away. I went through a crazy stage in 4th grade where I got so worried about how weird I was and got convinced everyone was watching me just because of comments kids said at school about me. At first I didn't believe them and then kids started to copy my behavior, that got me so self conscious, I started to notice weird behavior everywhere so I thought everyone was copying me. But I realize now that was some severe case of social anxiety there I was having and I got so self conscious of myself I started to notice other flaws in people because of my anxiety that intensified. It made me notice all these details but once I decided to quit caring about others copying me and random strangers, I stopped seeing all the weirdness from people. I was glad to have overcome this flaw without any therapy.

When you are anxious and very self conscious about yourself, you will notice all these things and then you are worried about how you are acting and if your posture is right or your body language, etc. but who cares what random strangers will think, remember that. Save that for interviews or when applying for work or when working with customers. That time that is when pretty much everyone worries and slips into SA especially if you have autism.