Special interests and over whelming negative thoughts

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Thanks for sharing - but I have to decline this. While I may read the book out of sheer curiosity, I don't find television to be an inherently bad thing. There are much that can be learned from it. While there are boring, fake and truly vile things there, there is also beauty and wisdom to be found.

Stories in a medium like movies and series are amazing. Like books, they let you into a world where you can learn from the characters and environment.

I too agree that real life should be put above fictional stories. And I've never believed otherwise. I do love fiction more than reality, but I don't disappear into it. I take the example of characters in fiction and put it to use outside in the real world.

I've lived a life where I've never had space to be myself. I've been pushed out of my own life and suppressed, to the point where I didn't know who I was or how to live in a way that made me happy.

I still don't. But that's what the stories teach me. It's what the characters teach me. An action for them, even if it's in a unbelievable scenario, inspire me to do better in real life.

I believe that ever since the first human told the first story in this world, humans have always found comfort in them. We have found heroes we want to be like, and villains we don't want to be like. The most generic fairy tales are really just examples used to teach children good morals.

And I believe that television is just another medium to convey this. True, it's abused. But everything in this world is abused by someone. It's up to us individual people to learn to distinguish truth from lies - it takes two to make a charade work. And television is no different.

There's beauty to be had, and there's evil to be had. I choose to focus on what I believe is beautiful, and the stories I find are exactly that; inspiring me to do better than before.


Sorry for this long ramble. I get passionate when it comes to stories :p I don't mean any of this in an offensive way though, and I understand and appreciate your view of TV.

I appreciate the value of vicarious involvement with fictional characters. For years, Shevek was my hero. However, Mander points out that TV viewers are in a semi-hypnotic trance. Try observing how much the sound track controls your emotions directly to enhance and control the experience. To me, it sounds as if the combination of audio and visual in a planned presentation are just too overwhelming for you, and you have become addicted. As usual, when you can't enjoy something in moderation, you must avoid it entirely, or choose to suffer the consequences.

I suppose I can relate in terms of something finishing. When I finish a painting I tend to get really down after if I don't start something. It's sometimes like leaving a piece of myself in a painting. I scramble to look for something else to paint. I have interests within the interest linked to art that have a similar effect in terms of art, Collecting high res images from films,or looking at details in super hi res images,or screen caps,or looking for props in ornament shops,or taking photos of something I'm interested in painting,or looking for photos in general and designing things. In terms of trying to express it like you say I think that's why I come on the forum to try and understand myself a bit better. Trying to understand the whys and reasons for certain behaviours. Maybe in a way your stories and my art are similar in terms of the processes,the emotional impact,pleasure gained,etc and its I just create my own in a single picture where as you create them in your mind from stories and books.

I can't argue for or against the theory of television's negative implications. I know there are many.

I do agree that the soundtrack of a movie greatly affects my emotions. But so does any song I listen to.
It's probably true that I am addicted. However, it is not solely towards television. Books make me equally sad.

Regarding avoiding it, I have to disagree. I believe that something like this, I can learn to cope with. While it may be an addiction, it's an addiction I've lived with since I was at least 5 years old. And there once was a time where it did not affect me as bad, yet recently my depression has made it worse.

Furthermore, these things are too important to me. They are things that have kept me going through life, when things got too tough for me to handle on my own. If the choice stands between never watching another movie, or 'suffering the consequences'; then I'd rather take the sadness with the joy and learn to live with it.

In any case, I think we might be overwhelming TheAvenger161173's post - perhaps if we continue this conversation, we should do so over PM? Mostly so that this page can stay on topic of what TheAvenger intended it to be?

What you describe with leaving a piece of yourself in the painting - It is exactly what I feel when it comes to stories. When I write my own, I always create the characters with characteristics from my friends or family in them. Most of my stories are personal experiences, twisted in a way to make them fit another environment.

When it comes to TV-series or books that other people have made, I find pieces of myself in them. My brother and I both look for each other in the characters we see or read about. And when a book or series end, I feel like a part of myself or a close friend disappears.

And though I want to move on to a new series with new and interesting plot and characters, I find that I can't. For months afterwards, I'm stuck in the loss of this 'friend'.

I came here too, to try and understand why I feel this way. My psychologist is unable to understand why I feel this way - "it's just characters on-screen" she says. But I've always believed there's more to it. That I find a part of myself in every character I come to appreciate.

I think you're right in that your art and my stories gives us a similar reaction. I'm kinda relieved at that, because so far I haven't been able to find anyone who share intense emotions like this.


I'm curious though - You mention that you can't focus on painting things that aren't highly detailed? Is there something particular about details that fascinates you?

I have heard a story from a Youtuber I watch (Game Grumps), who talked about OCD and how it hurt his ability to do things he liked. He used a crude example:
"I want to go ride a bike, but then my brain thought about my childhood neighbourhood, where I learned to ride a bike. But that's where my ex-girlfriend lives, so my brain thought about how sad I was when we broke up. And that somehow justified why I shouldn't ride a bike."

I have no idea if this is something similar or way far off, but he explained how the negative automatic thoughts would just repeat themselves every time he tried to do something he liked.

Keep the topic goin in the thread. It's interesting to see others thoughts

"I'm curious though - You mention that you can't focus on painting things that aren't highly detailed? Is there something particular about details that fascinates you?" I'm not sure I know why I'm drawn to it. I just love details, the more detailed the better. I get lost when I'm painting something detailed,or searching for highly detailed imagery . It makes me feel really good like nothing else. It's a "blessing and curse" as once I do something more detailed I can't go back and do something less detailed. My last painting has skin pores in it which I loved doing. I like other things too like water,reflective material,but if it was a choice between doing water,reflective material,and highly detailed painting I couldn't go without doing detailed paintings. Maybe my details are similar to your character life,plot details? We just like different types of details.

"these things are too important too me" sounds an awful lot like why people don't go to 12-step programs. I met quite a few who only quit booze when their doctors convinced them they'd be dead in a month otherwise. However, living with the goal of quitting is miserable. What is needed is to learn to enjoy healthier habits that somehow were late in developing.

On the other thread: My dad gave up on me when he asked if I didn't get satisfaction from finishing a job and I said no, but he could have advised taking up a new project ASAP to enjoy the process. At the beginning, I have a vision of something really slick. When I'm finished, I have a collection of parts that I had to quit working on when I couldn't make them any better, but are known to be imperfect in every detail. I've probably also got an idea about how it should be done the next time, but there's no budget or need, just awareness of obsolesence.

The purpose of a 12 step programme is to quit your "habit" altogether. I believe if you asked most ASD folks to give up there special interests they would either have great difficulty or be unable to. Even moderating them. Some may be able too. I'm not sure if quitting would be an option for a lot when it comes to special interests. Maybe working and developing ways so that the interest is healthier for the individual. Would be an option.