trouble saying affectionate things?

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I'm not very good at terms of endearment.

I think you hit the nail on the head with that word genuine. It seems to me that huge swathes of mainstream human society simply aren't all that genuine, though they often love the idea of sincerity. I suspect it's the competitive nature of most societies that holds them back from expressing their honest selves - it's just not safe to be that open.

I say affectionate things to animals, and about animals. It's genuine.

I also say affectionate things to certain humans for whom I genuinely feel affection -- and there are/have been some, and yes, both the affectionate feeling and the affectionate words were or are genuine in those cases too.

Not everyone who doesn't act like a heartless robot is faking stuff just to fit in with society in some way.

Having said this, I don't think I was comfortable using terms of affection all that readily when I was younger, not even to people I did love. In fact when I was a child, teenager and even part-way into my 20s, I actually had discomfort using someone's NAME.

Being able to say someone's name came later as I got older, and so did genuinely using affectionate words, names or terms.

I'm 55 now and some of these things "grew" into me not even because of "society" but because life can change how you feel even THOUGH you're autistic.

^^i used to have trouble using people's names too.

Still do sometimes, to be truthful.

Babybird, I thought I was the only one!! I'm glad to hear I'm not.

Isn't it odd? I still can't figure out what that was about. I vividly remember even wondering "Why am I having a problem with this?"

It felt very weird just to call someone by their name or even refer to someone by name in a conversation. I just couldn't say "Michael, the teacher asked for you" or "Michael is over there."

I think it felt too...personal to say a name!

It's one of the many oddities I wondered about myself for decades.

Thank you for saying you have experienced this too; it helps to know I wasn't the only one.

^^ yes it is a strange thing. I just thought it was because I was so shy and part of me feels as though I didn't feel worthy of using someone's first name.

I'm glad I've made you feel not so alone in this anyway.

I struggle with it too, I'd rather show that I care with my actions.
Words like that rarely enter my mind just on their own, unless someone says something and then I say "I .... you too". Sweeties, honeys, cuties, babes just don't enter my conversations at all, unless it's texting and the person really really expects that. It's still awkward then. I don't like being called a cutie or babe either. "Hun" is the worst, ugh

I dealt with that a bit, although I seem to have outgrown it mostly. I don't think it can be that uncommon, because there are cultures where people have birthnames, which only very close family knows, as well as public names, which everyone knows.

And I still don't like it when some people say my name to me in casual conversation. If they're talking about me to someone else and I overhear it, or if they're introducing me to someone, then, fine, it's how people identify me. And I can live with someone getting my attention by using my name, like calling it across a room. But if they're talking to me and say, "My Name, yadda yadda," it always kind of startles me, and often creeps me out a bit. Sales people are actually taught to use the customer's name, and when they do that it makes me crazy.

I can relate to this from childhood and reading this made me realize that I also still have issues with other name-like words like "dad" or "grandma". I find it extremely uncomfortable to address family this way and I almost never do it. I can use the word indirectly when talking about how "my dad did this" but I cannot call him on the phone and say "hey Dad" and use it as a name. To me it just feels way too personal and affectionate.

Shilohmm, me too! I, too, feel uncomfortable when someone uses my name to me in sentences!

One of my sisters had that habit!

I'll give an example using my username here -- it would be like this: "But the weather report said it will rain, BirdInFlight, didn't it?" Or "I didn't say that though, did I, BirdInFlight?"

It made me cringe. I hate it. And coming from her, at least, it always, always sounded....like criticism. She managed to make my own name - or the using of it -- feel like criticism.

There's a way that people can insert your name for emphasis that is definitely meant to kind of poke at you in some way. And if someone has done that to me, then even when other people use it without that intention, it feels a bit like it.

I outgrew discomfort of using other people's names when having to address them, call them over, refer to them to someone else, etc, but I definitely still have discomfort when someone inserts my name into what they're saying to me, yes. Strongly relate to that.

I have the same problem, it feels too personal to me, too.

I've also noticed that I don't have as much trouble expressing affection or using names with animals, for some reason - I use my dog's name all the time and will randomly tell him I love him, but if I try to do it with people, it doesn't feel as natural, and I get anxious enough about it that it's harder for me to say these things.

Oh, that's awful. I'm so sorry someone did that to you.

I don't know if that happened to me or not; don't remember it, if so. Still don't like people using my name much.

I have always had the most trouble with expressing affection to those who I am closest with, ie, family, a close friend. I can express it in the third person, however, but, not directly, in most instances.

Same situation with me, in terms of aversion to addressing a person by their name, although, less so, now, than I used to.

No worries -- I had a really bad relationship with both of my sisters, everything was always dysfunctional so this kind of thing was par for the course when I was growing up! But yes, it wasn't nice.

They are not in my life now, which is a good thing!

I almost never say it out loud. Sometimes there thought does come to my head, like I feel like "oh that person is cute" if it's one of the three people I wanted to date or the more sibling love I guess, I want to hug my brother and sister all the time, but they won't have it. Speaking is always difficult, especially as someone who did not benefit from speech therapy.

The name thing is weird... I still can't use people's names, it just feels so awkward.