What happens during your meltdowns?

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So draining these meltdowns hey? Ugh. I've read in a psychology text that crying is a pressure valve for many ASDs but the pressure is always building so we're always crying. It's a self-defeating and never-ending battle. But hey, if you don't cry then you don't need to. We all have our different coping mechanisms. If coffee (and pain killers for migraines) is all you need then I envy you.

Add horrific animal moans and groans to the screaming and crying, and that's my rare meltdown (I normally shut down). I suppose it is painful to watch, but going on my tiny sample, most people seem to react with fear, probably because it's so rare and unexpected, or maybe because I'm normally pretty unemotional. I suspect EzraS is right and it is the sort of thing that'd have people suspecting demon possession. It's in control and you just gotta ride it out.

For a long time that was the only crying I did, and I thought the idea of "a good cry" was insane, because I associated crying with days of misery. Now I can cry more normally, which I still don't relate to anything good, but at least it only wipes me out for that day, and it doesn't tear up my throat or otherwise feel like it's done me physical damage. Just leaves me with a headache and out of sorts.

They're caused by the same stuff that leads to shut downs -- when I feel like I'm being bullied into something I can't cope with by someone determined not to understand my position, I guess you'd say -- but I'm not sure why I sometimes go into screaming instead of silence.

Meltdowns for me have more recently in life been tied to two different scenarios. In the first case, something unexpected is thrown at me that derails current plans, and if I'm already in a stressed state, a meltdown ensues. In those cases, the symptoms are more along the lines of a panicked shutdown, with rambling incoherent thoughts and sometimes rambling/incoherent verbal communication with my poor wife. The second stimulus is failure to meet my own expectations. Again, at this point in my life it requires some other type of previous stress (I'm terrible at realizing that stress is there until it's too late, however). For instance, a recent round of golf started to go awry after about 6 holes. I hid all signs of frustration/anger for several more holes, all the while feeling more and more like a pressure cooker, thoughts and mindset hurtling more and more out of control for obviously irrational reasons, and physical stress becoming more and more unbearable. Finally my dad realized what was going on and started trying to talk me down, but in those situations I can't deal with any other outside input that only further clutters up my own thinking. Eventually a club wound up in the top of a tree, and the always resultant feeling of remorse and embarrassment followed. I've gotten better through the years at controlling meltdowns, but they're still there, and my only recourse has been to avoid situations that I know can lead to a meltdown (especially since I can't identify the pre-requisite stress). When I travel I always have hotel reservations, because I know that expecting to find a hotel room in a certain town and then finding out most rooms are booked has been a trigger. I've stopped playing competitive golf because the stress is more than I can handle, and the embarrassment of having a meltdown for something as stupid as a round of golf is not worth the hassle. Just two cents about my experiences.

I have two kinds of meltdowns. One kind is mostly just uncontrollable crying, and I'll curl up in a ball, in a corner or somewhere that feels more enclosed if I can. In the other, I become violent toward myself and objects around me, doing things like hitting myself, ramming my head repeatedly into a pillow, and throwing any small object that's near me. It usually happens as the result of several things adding up - there's a sensation I can't really describe in my brain that gets stronger until it feels kind of like something "snaps," which is when I have a meltdown. Afterward I feel the way you describe, C2V, and need to be left alone for a while with minimal sensory input before I'm anything resembling functional again. Fortunately, I can often hold off a meltdown until it becomes a shutdown instead, which is a lot better for me - I just kind of go on "autopilot" for a while (having no recollection of it afterward - mostly I can just walk without running into things and can even get to places I've been to very often, like classes when I was in school, on my own, but am otherwise pretty unresponsive), and don't have such a long recovery time afterward.

I have a stim that probably makes it look like I'm possessed - I'll speak gibberish in a whisper and will make growling sounds while jerking my head to one side.

It's like a volcano exploded in my head and sometimes out of my mouth in the form of verbal loudness of many naughty words...

At other times it feels like a big pressure in my head. I don't think straight. Afterwards it can feel like I'm "drunk".

Weird stuff.

It isn't all I need but it was all I could think of to do. I got plenty of sleep afterwards, tried to relax and keep people away from me, tried to find time alone which is what I really need, but it doesn't seem to be helping, I still feel all weird days later. I think it's because the stressor that keeps me at 3/4 of capacity to cope is still going on, and now the thing which "snapped" me and caused this unusual meltdown will have to be dealt with too (they screwed up my tattoos because i csmt speak well enough to communicate, apparently).
Just too many issues at once, too much frustration and stress in ways I font deal with well, such as having people ALWAYS around me and dealing with financial trouble.
In this meltdown I actually thought crying might help, maybe ease the pressure, but I can't - alexithymia.