I’m miserable because I’m lonely

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Lithium? Do you ever have manic episodes? I only ask because I was misdiagnosed with manic depression and it was only a setback.

I can relate.
I've lived in the town I'm in for ten years, and I don't have any friends. I don't even really know anyone.
In all of the other places I've been, no one, really.
I do know people, around the country. Very few. More like, people know me and to some extent like me. But with very few exceptions, I don't know anything about any of them. If I really thought about it, I could probably count all of my best friends throughout my life on one hand, and looking back, I have to question some of those relationships.
I don't even talk to my family.
I do care about people, quite a lot. But it's rather painful to try to deal with them. So I usually don't. It's nice to smile and wave, say hello, and then keep walking.
I think it's the most painful thing in the world, I really want people, really want to connect, have friends, have fun, be in love and be loved, hang out, talk about whatever people talk about and actually enjoy it. But I don't. I don't really enjoy it. It's not usually fun. It's confusing, exhausting, painful, embarrassing. It takes a lot of time. And I don't know how to start it, and I (thankfully) don't usually get invited.
I've watched a lot of movies, trying to figure out how people interact. Honestly watching movies is about the same as hanging out with people, but I'm not expected to participate in the movie.
And practiced talking WITH people, when I get the chance, with various degrees of success. School and work helps a little, in my opinion. It is a place I'm supposed to be and offers at least a small amount of common ground.
But I've kind of had to resign myself to accept my loneliness, and try to find balance between enough isolation and enough interaction to at least feel like a human. But on bad days I feel like a hungry ghost.

I guess I'm trying to say you're not alone.

No I don’t. My doctor is trying it as an anti suicide drug.

tl:dr version: You're not alone; friends are not the only or best solution for everyone; making friends takes time and effort with no guarantee you'll get what you want, but at the same time you can get the odds more in your favor.

I'm somewhat of the Fraser_S and doofy school the friendships are over rated.

When I was much younger I often wished I had a best friend. Then my dad said something that got me thinking about the responsibilities of relationships, and I soon realized that, while I did wish I had a best friend, I simply wasn't willing to pay the "cost" of the responsibilities of being a best friend. I'm not interested in "being on call" all the time. I'm not willing to go into social situations that don't interest me, just to make my best friend feel better. And so on.

Plus my experience fits doofy's...



My desire for a friend is a desire to be understood. NTs don't understand me, but they do understand each other, so watching them get and give what I can't have was frustrating.

I think it's also easier to give up on other people as you come to understand yourself. I personally find comfort in religion and believe my system is true, but even if it isn't, then the existence of religions like Christianity (where you have a relationship with Christ or God) are kind of evidence that a lot of people do not find human relationships sufficient. The idea that there is a God who completely understands can be comforting when no one understands you, or when you don't even understand yourself.

To be perfectly honest, I think a lot of NT friendships don't go very deep. They're as close as they are because they think alike, not because they understand each other, if you see what I mean. I kind of suspect some NTs find what I call deep friendship talk -- talk about highly personal things -- about as difficult as many people on the spectrum do. It's just that NTs can find enough surface similarities that indicate deeper similarities that their assumption "this person thinks the way I do" is basically correct. People on the spectrum have to create friendships like that the hard way -- through extensive sharing and listening -- and people who don't need to put that kind of effort in generally don't want to, either.



This is classic advice, even for NTs, because it's true. It's unpopular advice because it's not easy. And it doesn't necessarily lead to the kind of friendships people want -- deep, true ones, where you can say almost anything and know they won't recoil in horror. Where you can agree to disagree on certain subjects and still like and appreciate each other despite seeing the world in profoundly different ways. Still, while joining in groups that are doing things doesn't guarantee finding that kind of friendship, it can up the odds.

Did they work for you?

I don't think so. My doc has talked about trying to add Adderall next.

If only my doctor would do the same for me. I could use it to lose weight.

No question of denouncing them, just that they should not be the only option, and certainly not the first or long term. People seem to be jumping right into drugs and staying there before even trying other alternatives, even changing lifestyle choices.
I was reading an article recently that even had some evidence that certain yoga exercises acted on depression.
To the OP - reads like you just need to find the right platform in order to facilitate social contact for you. For those of us who cannot socialize in standard forms, more creative thinking is often necessary.
Why do you want friends, anyway? Just curious. I don't really see the point of them, but is be willing to change that opinion if persuasive evidence came my way.
Edit (s) - bloody phone autocorrect madness, sorry.

Have you attempted suicide or have you just contemplated it?

I don't think I have any actual friends. I am used by people who call me their friends, but aren't really. A lot of relationships I thought I had with others were way more built up in my head than actual reality, and those people are more like acquaintances.

To combat loneliness and depression, together and without medication, I like to take yoga or exercise classes and volunteer with animals. In both cases you are around a community of people, but not expected to be verbal or social. Also, exercise gives a nice kick of endorphins, animals can have a calming presence.

I blame the television. I'm sure since ads for prescription drugs were legalised the use the of antidepressants has increased.

No TV drug ads in the UK, but still AD scripts have rocketed.

I blame it on short consultation times with docs...

Honestly? Friends make me feel good. It's that simple. Maybe if I got some I would get tired of them, idk.

I sort of attempted it. I cut my wrist a couple times and got sent to a hospital for a week. The cuts were not at all bad or high in number. I don't know if I would count it as an attempt since I stopped myself.

I have never seen a Psychiatrist that doesn't recommend you go to therapy. I've had one that seemed to not even really believe in his practice and just wanted therapy lol.

Not really an attempt no. More "self harm".

Wrist veins bleed far too slow and clot far too quick. Wrist slitting as a suicide strategy is a TV myth.

Nothing wrong with having an exit strategy for if things get too too much. For me, it helps keep me safe: I know I always have an "out door". Knowing I have access to that out door helps keep me safe.

But research it. Really really thoroughly. Why jump out of a fourth storey window and break your legs and half your back? Why slit your wrists and get put on an "at risk" register? And don't, but don't, even begin to consider a paracetamol OD. Or any drug OD really - but paracetamol seems to be the preferred choice of the uninformed.

Here, what helps keeps me safe is knowing I have an out door, and Amazon will deliver it tomorrow.

Things got easier for me once I got a reliable exit strategy in place.