How good are you with reading non-verbal cues?

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I'm terrible with non-verbal cues, although I'm good at picking up on tones of voice.

I don't think I'm too bad at interpreting non-verbal cues if I notice them to begin with. The problem for me is more that my attention is so rarely focused in the right place at the right time, and you can't exactly re-wind reality to get a second take. I think I would probably do reasonably well on the "flash card" kind of tests, where your focus is explicitly pointed at the stimulus, though I've never actually been tested that way.

My only experience of this so far is a couple of friends who I know on the spectrum, and a few meet-ups with groups of maybe 6-12. All of these people have Asperger's and can attend a meet-up without needing to be accompanied.

With the two friends, I find communication much simpler. I've gotten used to not having to look for these cues when I am with them because it rarely leads to misunderstandings, and I'm not distracted by trying to remember to look out for it. I've never thought to ask if they feel the same way, but I guess so, as they have never commented on my own limited use of non-verbal cues (it's quite common for me to be asked if I'm paying attention when I'm around other people.)

The range of recognition and use of non-verbal cues by the people on the meet-ups seemed to be very broad, and on quite a few occasions, I think I confused some of them by using non-verbal cues myself that either "passing" has conditioned me to use or from some limited innate ability. A few of them used gesturing much more than I am used to seeing, almost to the extent that you might think it was a sign-language (it could have been for all I know, but none were deaf or non-verbal.) I remember wondering whether they might have been people who are "picture thinkers", as the hand movements seemed to resemble assembling or constructing something, but I was too anxious about offending anyone to ask. I wasn't able to interpret any meaning from any of these gestures.

I'm not very good at reading non-verbal cues. Is there some way I can learn?