24 Nov 2017, 6:07 am
Mr SmokeTooMuch wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
Criticism, like rejection, is a form of denial of another -- and, human nature does not like to be denied.
As in case of aspies, there are possible multiple factors why we couldn't take criticism well:
It could be because of we receive emotions and how we handle it.
This part had something to do with social-emotional maturity. And thus why we usually ended up being accused as immature reaction wise, even if this isn't the case.
It could be because since the majority do not understand our cases, they tend to be presumptuous, and many of us had enough with that.
It's a consequence of being different from others, something that most NTs wouldn't understand. And perhaps, an aspie to another since we tend to be very different from one another.
It could be because, it's about how we expect and handle changes.
At this part, it could be a two-way thing -- one's ideals clashes with another and took a firm stance on their opinions.
NTs won't react well if it's outside their culture's safe zone, and aspies won't react well if it's simply different from theirs and outside their own comfort zone. In other words, this part is a human thing. Except, in case of aspies, we're more prone to it since our views are rarely shared and be taken consideration -- unlike NTs' collective views, that sometimes, they don't have to make a change at all since they have this common view for compromise or a social module of some sorts that autistics don't usually have.
I only take criticisms well if facts are more emphasized and the reality stated first, before the subjective and indirect parts. Otherwise, I'd end up taking it as an attempt to insult me by not getting to the point first.
As in case of aspies, there are possible multiple factors why we couldn't take criticism well:
It could be because of we receive emotions and how we handle it.
This part had something to do with social-emotional maturity. And thus why we usually ended up being accused as immature reaction wise, even if this isn't the case.
It could be because since the majority do not understand our cases, they tend to be presumptuous, and many of us had enough with that.
It's a consequence of being different from others, something that most NTs wouldn't understand. And perhaps, an aspie to another since we tend to be very different from one another.
It could be because, it's about how we expect and handle changes.
At this part, it could be a two-way thing -- one's ideals clashes with another and took a firm stance on their opinions.
NTs won't react well if it's outside their culture's safe zone, and aspies won't react well if it's simply different from theirs and outside their own comfort zone. In other words, this part is a human thing. Except, in case of aspies, we're more prone to it since our views are rarely shared and be taken consideration -- unlike NTs' collective views, that sometimes, they don't have to make a change at all since they have this common view for compromise or a social module of some sorts that autistics don't usually have.
I only take criticisms well if facts are more emphasized and the reality stated first, before the subjective and indirect parts. Otherwise, I'd end up taking it as an attempt to insult me by not getting to the point first.
I agree with all of the above, except that criticism equals rejection. It seems irrational to me to criticize someone you reject and hence don't care about .
It is irrational to criticize someone out of rejection.
And I did said it's alike rejection (not criticism is rejection) -- a form of denial, a disagreement that humans don't usually take well.
24 Nov 2017, 6:34 am
Edna3362 wrote:
Mr SmokeTooMuch wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
Criticism, like rejection, is a form of denial of another -- and, human nature does not like to be denied.
As in case of aspies, there are possible multiple factors why we couldn't take criticism well:
It could be because of we receive emotions and how we handle it.
This part had something to do with social-emotional maturity. And thus why we usually ended up being accused as immature reaction wise, even if this isn't the case.
It could be because since the majority do not understand our cases, they tend to be presumptuous, and many of us had enough with that.
It's a consequence of being different from others, something that most NTs wouldn't understand. And perhaps, an aspie to another since we tend to be very different from one another.
It could be because, it's about how we expect and handle changes.
At this part, it could be a two-way thing -- one's ideals clashes with another and took a firm stance on their opinions.
NTs won't react well if it's outside their culture's safe zone, and aspies won't react well if it's simply different from theirs and outside their own comfort zone. In other words, this part is a human thing. Except, in case of aspies, we're more prone to it since our views are rarely shared and be taken consideration -- unlike NTs' collective views, that sometimes, they don't have to make a change at all since they have this common view for compromise or a social module of some sorts that autistics don't usually have.
I only take criticisms well if facts are more emphasized and the reality stated first, before the subjective and indirect parts. Otherwise, I'd end up taking it as an attempt to insult me by not getting to the point first.
As in case of aspies, there are possible multiple factors why we couldn't take criticism well:
It could be because of we receive emotions and how we handle it.
This part had something to do with social-emotional maturity. And thus why we usually ended up being accused as immature reaction wise, even if this isn't the case.
It could be because since the majority do not understand our cases, they tend to be presumptuous, and many of us had enough with that.
It's a consequence of being different from others, something that most NTs wouldn't understand. And perhaps, an aspie to another since we tend to be very different from one another.
It could be because, it's about how we expect and handle changes.
At this part, it could be a two-way thing -- one's ideals clashes with another and took a firm stance on their opinions.
NTs won't react well if it's outside their culture's safe zone, and aspies won't react well if it's simply different from theirs and outside their own comfort zone. In other words, this part is a human thing. Except, in case of aspies, we're more prone to it since our views are rarely shared and be taken consideration -- unlike NTs' collective views, that sometimes, they don't have to make a change at all since they have this common view for compromise or a social module of some sorts that autistics don't usually have.
I only take criticisms well if facts are more emphasized and the reality stated first, before the subjective and indirect parts. Otherwise, I'd end up taking it as an attempt to insult me by not getting to the point first.
I agree with all of the above, except that criticism equals rejection. It seems irrational to me to criticize someone you reject and hence don't care about .
It is irrational to criticize someone out of rejection.
And I did said it's alike rejection (not criticism is rejection) -- a form of denial, a disagreement that humans don't usually take well.
Sorry, I misunderstood you . Can you explain , denial of what?
24 Nov 2017, 6:40 am
24 Nov 2017, 6:53 am
Mr SmokeTooMuch wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
Mr SmokeTooMuch wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
Criticism, like rejection, is a form of denial of another -- and, human nature does not like to be denied.
As in case of aspies, there are possible multiple factors why we couldn't take criticism well:
It could be because of we receive emotions and how we handle it.
This part had something to do with social-emotional maturity. And thus why we usually ended up being accused as immature reaction wise, even if this isn't the case.
It could be because since the majority do not understand our cases, they tend to be presumptuous, and many of us had enough with that.
It's a consequence of being different from others, something that most NTs wouldn't understand. And perhaps, an aspie to another since we tend to be very different from one another.
It could be because, it's about how we expect and handle changes.
At this part, it could be a two-way thing -- one's ideals clashes with another and took a firm stance on their opinions.
NTs won't react well if it's outside their culture's safe zone, and aspies won't react well if it's simply different from theirs and outside their own comfort zone. In other words, this part is a human thing. Except, in case of aspies, we're more prone to it since our views are rarely shared and be taken consideration -- unlike NTs' collective views, that sometimes, they don't have to make a change at all since they have this common view for compromise or a social module of some sorts that autistics don't usually have.
I only take criticisms well if facts are more emphasized and the reality stated first, before the subjective and indirect parts. Otherwise, I'd end up taking it as an attempt to insult me by not getting to the point first.
As in case of aspies, there are possible multiple factors why we couldn't take criticism well:
It could be because of we receive emotions and how we handle it.
This part had something to do with social-emotional maturity. And thus why we usually ended up being accused as immature reaction wise, even if this isn't the case.
It could be because since the majority do not understand our cases, they tend to be presumptuous, and many of us had enough with that.
It's a consequence of being different from others, something that most NTs wouldn't understand. And perhaps, an aspie to another since we tend to be very different from one another.
It could be because, it's about how we expect and handle changes.
At this part, it could be a two-way thing -- one's ideals clashes with another and took a firm stance on their opinions.
NTs won't react well if it's outside their culture's safe zone, and aspies won't react well if it's simply different from theirs and outside their own comfort zone. In other words, this part is a human thing. Except, in case of aspies, we're more prone to it since our views are rarely shared and be taken consideration -- unlike NTs' collective views, that sometimes, they don't have to make a change at all since they have this common view for compromise or a social module of some sorts that autistics don't usually have.
I only take criticisms well if facts are more emphasized and the reality stated first, before the subjective and indirect parts. Otherwise, I'd end up taking it as an attempt to insult me by not getting to the point first.
I agree with all of the above, except that criticism equals rejection. It seems irrational to me to criticize someone you reject and hence don't care about .
It is irrational to criticize someone out of rejection.
And I did said it's alike rejection (not criticism is rejection) -- a form of denial, a disagreement that humans don't usually take well.
Sorry, I misunderstood you . Can you explain , denial of what?
Many forms of.
Denial of one's hopes, expectations, ideals, needs -- physical or nonphysical, perspectives, concepts of access or privilege, whatever a human might've want or would rather choose to have... Denial could be as direct as saying 'no' to something a bit indirect as 'couldn't'.
A part of it drives one to be stronger, smarter, and powerful -- that 'no' would become 'not yet', that 'couldn't' would become 'couldn't yet'.
Mr SmokeTooMuch wrote:
And what do you mean by:
It is irrational to criticize someone out of rejection.
It is irrational to criticize someone out of rejection.
Did I misread this part?
Mr SmokeTooMuch wrote:
It seems irrational to me to criticize someone you reject and hence don't care about .
But then again, English isn't my first language either.
24 Nov 2017, 1:05 pm
27 Nov 2017, 5:48 pm
27 Nov 2017, 6:19 pm
27 Nov 2017, 6:22 pm
Oh...no worries 
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
29 Nov 2017, 4:27 am
Interesting thread.
I used to snap and not take criticism well. I had a very short fuse, and my reactions were not.. socially acceptable.
Now that I have my symptoms under control, for the most part I take criticism very well. Well enough that NT's who don't know I'm ASD have complimented me on my ability to take criticism very well & act on it to improve myself and my work. Criticism doesn't make me snap and react at all like it used to. I listen, I process, I learn, I change, I grow - I appreciate criticism more than ever for all the opportunities it affords.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
30 Nov 2017, 4:20 pm
01 Dec 2017, 10:58 am
I don't criticise others very often. I am bad at taking criticism, I'm not that good at taking kindly meant advice. It's because I get so much of it. Everyone is sure that if only I went to Uni, if only I got out and met people, joined groups, made an effort, had more ambition, found a better job, with more hours and more responsibility and more opportunities, then my life would miraculously become perfect. Oh and I should stop being obsessive, because that's just silly. When someone advises me to sit on the sofa with a good book and a packet of bickies, I'll listen. 
01 Dec 2017, 2:16 pm
01 Dec 2017, 2:21 pm
01 Dec 2017, 2:39 pm
01 Dec 2017, 3:07 pm
01 Dec 2017, 5:31 pm
