Diagnosic process in Australia

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Thank you for those who replied to my questions. That's helpful.

I've thought about what is worrying me, and it's just general expectations. Like gamespeopleplay said 'a mix of questionaires and tests' - that's helpful information. I guess my main concern is that I'll be exposed to loud noises or something to see what my reaction is. I've had well-meaning people do that before,* and if it's going to be like that I'm happy to do it if it helps me get answers, but I just want to know. Also will it be my psychologist asking me questions, or will I just be left with the test on a computer or something? Will my psychologist be assessing it, or does it get sent off to someone else? I've also had time to settle down and realise that if these are tests designed for people prone to anxiety, then hopefully they're not going to be a horrible experience.

My biggest fear is getting overwhelmed/confused and not knowing what to do, or having a melt-down and needing to rebook. To be honest, the more I think about it, I'm more worried about a false positive than a false negative. I feel like there are a lot of people with autism who are far more incapacitated by their experiences than I am, and even though I can see that my struggles are extreme compared to the general population, I want to take the test in a good state of mind so it can assess me at my best, not my worst. If I get a diagnosis, I want to know it's accurate.

I probably just needed to ask the psychologist what the test would entail, but I sometimes don't work out what my questions are until later on when I've had time to think about it all.

*at uni some people decided it was their job to 'help' me by administering 'exposure therapy' and trapping me in a room with balloons and popping them close to my face. I'm not sure, but I think they thought it would help me. I'm still confused by why they did it. It was a horrible experience. I know the psychologist won't do that, but I'm still scared of people doing things to see how I react.

Thank you. That's helpful. I confess I do like that I can freely talk about the inner workings of my mind in my psychologist sessions without being told I'm being self-centred or too intense. I have a strong interest in cognitive linguistics, so I'm interested in how all this stuff works anyway, but it's also deeply satisfying having a place to let out a lifetime of confusing memories/interactions.

If I end up being told I don't have aspergers, I really hope that spending all this time getting all this out at least can still help the psychologist understand me. I only just thought about it like that, which changes everything. If I don't have aspergers, it'll be clear to me hopefully what my deficits are, so we can work on my not coping from hopefully some other angle. My big fear is being unable to be helped, I guess, but a clearer picture has to be a better thing regardless of what it's a picture of. I think I just needed to talk it out maybe so I can go in not feeling like if I fall apart the world is going to end (which is more likely to happen if I feel like that).

1.5 weeks to go. Pity it has to be over the most stressful part of the year.