Im sad when someone tell me that everyone has problems
CockneyRebel
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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,753
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
I've been told this by many people. That's the reason that I don't tell too many people about my problems, anymore. I think the world would be a better place if people could have the patience to listen to each other instead of dismissing everyone's problems. I've learned a lot by listening to the problems and stories of other people.
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The Family Enigma
Whenever someone tells me that everyone has problems, it only reminded me that humans are needy regardless of the circumstances.
Depending on my mood, either it pisses me off into apathy or ponder it out of sympathy.
The former tells me that no one had to know those things, and so are my own -- because 'everyone has it' -- so why bother with the reminder? It matters naught if one had it better or worse -- it mattered that the thought of a nuisance exists.
The latter craves understanding that it may never be, and hope things will change for the better. Sometimes, it hurts me. Of course I don't like it -- because I had little means of helping others, because I may never understand -- so I end up pondering and 'praying'.
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I think they only mean to point out that struggle is universal, even if the specifics (whether it's something like Autism, or losing a family member, or a physical condition) are different. Everyone still has a right to be here and try to enjoy their life regardless. It doesn't make it any easier, though.
It always aggravated me when a counsellor would say something stupid like "everybody has problems socializing" or "everyone struggles in interviews" or something along those lines. It sure seemed like everyone but me was given a "social" manual and knew what exactly what to do while I and no one else other than the obviously disabled kids had any trouble finding friends.
Yes, everyone has their own problems, but this answer suggests, that the one, who said it, don't have any idea about level your problems. On one job interview i told, I have problems with communications. They told me, everyone has problem with communication. I needed to know, if I am able do this job and got this answer.
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Sorry for my bad english. English isn't my native language.
I'm curious to know how NTs have problems with communication and I don't mean learning a second language.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
I’ve always been very very secretive about my problems, either through fear of embarrassment or because I feared I’d be ridiculed for being different.
Whenever I have tried to slightly open up to someone about communication issues before I knew I was autistic, I always got met with things like ‘everyone feels like that sometimes’
At the time I wondered why I seemed unable to overcome issues (like anxiety talking to new people) that ‘everyone else’ seems to get over so easily.
Being told ‘oh everyone experiences that’ really made me feel defective or broken in some way, and not knowing why this happened really used to wind me up and make me angry at myself.
Now I have found out I’m autistic, it makes me feel better - I feel like I could of explained myself better, but in reality with people perceptions of autism it probably would of made me look more strange.
I haven’t actually talked to any of my mates about being diagnosed ASD yet so I can’t comment on how I’d feel if someone told me now ‘everyone has problems’.
It belittles your feelings, being talked down to like this. I have experienced similar with having suffered from chronic headaches for years - if they haven’t experienced it they just don’t understand. There has been many an argument or outburst from me when someone’s told me something like ‘it’s only a headache, take some aspirin’
It’s not just a headache! Sometimes I’m incapacitated with pain and can’t think straight!
Besides I’d relate a lot of my autism issues to pain - it’s all relative to the person. Even NTs perceive pain differently so something might be really painful to one person and not to another.
I think NTs might sometimes have similar issues to us (communication, mind going blank, etc) but they don’t get it as often, or on the same level as us and as such cannot understand the stress or confusion we go through that makes it so much worse.
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Confirmed ASD as of 19/12/17
Your neurodiverse score: 177 of 200
Your neurotypical score: 34 of 200