Leave Your Esteem Issues At Your Therapist Couch

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Those wearing a mask of superiority, really think they are superior (even if they are not), they ask more for I would say "constant confirmation" of the lie they tell to themselves (lie that they are superior).

Nothing to do with the low self esteem issue that most ASD have (I refer to your initial post). Also ASD do not generally wear masks.

Last edited by LaetiBlabla on 14 Apr 2018, 1:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

When I started working in the 1980's employers generally did not care what you did off hours unless what you did made you often unable to perform the job or you embarrassed the company by something like getting arrested publically. The downside and it was a big one was the exception to the rule which was rampant sexual harassment. That was not socialization but misogyny and ignorance.

The attitude was you do not burden anybody with "your s**t", it was up to you to figure it out, if you could not you were considered a failure.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 14 Apr 2018, 1:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It could be self esteem issues or as you suggested delusions of grandeur. Both have the same point of origination. Scary to think they really believe in their superiority. Laetitia, I appreciate you giving me something to think about. Either way, those two are not getting any fuel from me.

To an extent asd people mask in order to keep a job....pretend a certain amount of interest in people and things that we don't gaf about.

These "superior" people often grow up being told by their parents that they are better than everyone else and that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Their parents have the same attitude about themselves as well. These people can't stand to be wrong and they are petty and immature when they don't get their way.

I personally show a genuine interest. Even if I know that there are many things I indeed don't gaf about. I am confident that in the middle of non-interesting things, there may be something that could raise my interest and create a genuine bond, even if it is not a wide affinity, at least it is a little bond. Under their mask, and social stuff, NTs have interesting things to share but you have to go through the social superficial stuff first.

What -- you don't think you deserved this rant? (just kidding -- I had the same thought)

Well that all sounds reasonable except for the fact that the way you wrote it sounded like you were lecturing all of us about what we do wrong. I get that you were trying to say here what you can't say there but the way you went about it was kind of the same thing that you're complaining about.

Second thought: people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Are your social skills really that great? Because the diagnostic criteria of ASD says you got issues, girl.

I don't mind praising people-----if they praise me in turn.

If it's "all about them," then I don't bother.

I don't worship anybody. I'm not going to lick someone's toes.

To you NTs that post on here, get bent if you can't handle our rants. Go somewhere else. Why are you here? Is this to bully us more?

I'm not aware of any NTs posting in this thread.

Why are you impersonating the great late Bea Arthur?

Am I the person you are accusing of being NT? How bizarre.

And I'm not "impersonating" anyone. I just happen to like her work.

It's easy to label someone mentally ill, but harder to admit what comes with that. Whatever you have to deal with at work, I promise that, if this woman is as dysfunctional as you claim, she probably deals with much worse. I have a sibling with a personality disorder that wrecked her self-esteem, spiraling into a superiority complex. I'm sure she's a pain to her co-workers, but you have no idea what that kind of mental anguish looks like in private. When my sister goes into one of her fits, I thank God that I'm autistic and not that.

As for how draining it is, I agree. But how often do we have NT's coming here and talking about how draining we are? And it's true. We are all needy people, in one way or another, especially here on WP. If you can claim that your disorder doesn't encumber or annoy the people around you to any degree, count yourself as one of the very lucky ones. It's fine to vent, but don't act like the mentally ill are a burden on you before you regard them as a suffering human being. Or else, don't expect NT's to give us the same benefit. It's really not an attitude that helps anyone here or elsewhere.

Is NT now an insult? For me it is only a different way of thinking, easy to spot and no need to "accuse" anybody

My first job (started in 1971) was like that. Only boy in group of 4 technicians. The queen bee held gossip assembly every morning before doing a little bit of work. Coffee breaks were in another room with more people, a lot of the talk seemed to be about preserving their places in the pecking order with minor bullying and running down people who weren't there. Bloke from the next department would blatantly touch up the women, another bloke would turn up at random and only stay if there were women to flirt with. They'd have a party every Xmas where they'd go raving mad. With a couple of exceptions I'd have had nothing to do with any of them if I'd had much choice. I just kept quiet and resisted their worst excesses with dignity. What kept me going was the counter-culture I'd already discovered outside of the workplace, which gave me a social life. I hadn't expected much from the mainstream, so I wasn't too disappointed to find the workplace was no place to make real friends.

They moved some of us a few miles up the road eventually, and old gossip culture became less malignant, and the management put more effort into making it a place of work, and the queen bee was cut down to size, and eventually left. There was a lot of drama during the wing-clipping, which I rather enjoyed, as it was my dream to be rid of her. After that they moved us again and tried to get us to share our breaks with other departments in a large coffee room. By that time most of our staff had left and been replaced, and none of us liked the big coffee room, which was much like the older setup only not so horrendous. We joked together about how we'd likely go there one day to find them all in a heap on the floor tickling each other, they all seemed very childish. Eventually we defied the management, got our own kettle and just talked in twos and threes sometimes.

I don't know what made the difference. The ones with more science skills were usually against the gossip culture, though the queen bee had been fairly bright and able with science up to a point, but she clearly found it boring, and hated egg-heads and commitment to the work.

But the insult of having to share with backbiting, immature slackers gave way to a bigger threat - management pressure to work ridiculously long and hard. Maybe somewhere there's a workplace that has no lazy idiots but doesn't expect more than a fair day's work for a fair day's pay.