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y-pod
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21 Jul 2018, 6:00 am

The cleaning aspect of shower is fine. I just hate the fact that I tend to have negative thoughts during shower. I seem to be more emotional, more vulnerable during shower, and sometimes I cry or get angry about totally unimportant stuff. I rarely cry otherwise and almost never feel angry.

If I can wash myself without having negative thoughts then I consider it a pretty good day already. Not cleaning is not an option. The feeling of oil and sweat would drive me nuts. I also don't use lotion or moisturizers or makeup due to the coated feeling. It must be a sensory thing.


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Spiderpig
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21 Jul 2018, 7:01 am

I love showers, mainly because up to my late teen years, my parents stuck to the habit from earlier generations of having just a weekly bath, and thought that was more than enough, thank you very much, as far as personal hygiene was concerned. Anything beyond that they considered a waste of water and a vice of modern life they took pride in not partaking in. Besides, we had no hot water at the place where we lived on working days, so they drove me on weekends to another place they owned, for the specific purpose of bathing.

Needless to say, after puberty, it became more and more embarrassing to see my classmates noticing my body odor, complaining about it and making even more fun of me because of it than they otherwise would. I eventually decided to make do with the cold water and have a shower every morning before breakfast. Of course, my parents, who had decided very early in my life that I was mentally defective in some way or other, and had ever since made a habit of explaining any behavior of mine they didn't like as a symptom of mental illness, made no exception with my cold showers, and only grudgingly tolerated them. They didn't forget to remind me now and then that I was yielding cowardly to peer pressure, when I should be proudly standing up to it.

However, I hate the logistics which most of the time surrounds showers in my life. Effectively, I'm always showering behind someone's back, and I let myself remain filthy and stinking, alone in my room, waiting for the next time I've heard no plausibly human motion outside for long enough and I'm not sleepy, or it's early morning and I have to get ready to head off to my pseudo-job.


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Last edited by Spiderpig on 21 Jul 2018, 7:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

ratprince
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Joined: 21 Jul 2018
Age: 25
Gender: Male
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Location: canada

21 Jul 2018, 7:07 am

i wish i could knock myself out and wake up all showered and dressed - i hate the process so much
it's a lot of steps and organizing myself and just ugh :x