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I DON'T WANT TO GO ! !!

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cosmiccat
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12 Aug 2018, 7:14 pm

Claradoon wrote:
Congratulations on your accomplishment and survival.

I wonder if you might consider the lifestyle I have established for myself:

*** I don't go to anything. * * *

This began about 20 years ago, when I realized Mom was sending me as her emissary to obnoxious family gatherings. There was astonishment, guilt, and tremendous pressure, but I stayed home.

The next was weddings. The relief was worth the war.

Over the years, I chopped off another and another sort of thing I don't go to. Now, they don't invite me! Victory! :)




Hooray for you, Claradoon! And thank you for sharing the lifestyle you have established for yourself. It reminds me of Herman Melville's "Bartleby, the Scrivener".

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cosmiccat
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12 Aug 2018, 7:27 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
For future: negotiate with your husband that the two of you will make an appearance, and that you will stay no longer than 2 hours. 2 hours at a bash you don't want to be at is plenty.

If it was me, I'd take some knitting or crocheting or something of that sort to while away the time. Of course, then you might have missed the Elvis Presley impersonation.


That's a good idea, Bea Arthur. Two hours and I'll be good to go and good to go. haha I sometimes take a book to hide in, but that seems rude, whereas with crocheting you can be present and aware as you make your granny squares.



cosmiccat
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12 Aug 2018, 7:45 pm

Pjscrab wrote:
I usually feel like I don’t want to go most days. Some days I end up wasting time too just sitting and feeling outta place because I usually can’t connect with my husbands friends families as I don’t speak the language.

But now I just tell myself if I have to really go I can go a wee bit early and excuse myself from the party after a while because I say I have to run some important errand or I have something else that’s important to tend to. If I end up feeling relaxed and seem to be connecting to people I stay longer.


Hi Pjscrab, I can certainly understand how you would feel outta place and not being able to connect because of not speaking the same language. I've found myself in that situation when visiting Italy and Costa Rico. Sometimes though, it seems that I don't speak the same language as my husband and many members of the family even though we all speak English. And yes, it often feels like a waste of time because I am often working on many projects and I hate having to drop everything, sacrifice my creative streak and go off to a party.

I don't drive. I've never driven a car in my life. But, if I did, and I had my own car, it would be the perfect way to leave after a reasonable time without infringing on my husband's enjoyment of mingling because he could leave in his own good time.