Asperger empathy vs. Neurotypical empathy

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Conner42
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27 Aug 2018, 1:33 am

JSBACH wrote:
Also, I often think it's the NTs that lack empathy. (Eg when they could empathise with the hell of sensory overload, they might try to accommodate instead of commenting that I'm a sensitive sissy). But my ideas on their lack of empathy belong in another thread, I believe.


qwerwe wrote:
I would say it is the opposite. People often don't understand me and my feelings. According to the psychologist I lack empathy too. I think it's mutual misunderstanding.


This is basically how I feel too. I've heard empathy being described as feeling what others are feeling or seeing things from another point of view...but not many people can seem to do that with me :/ The more I think about it, the more confusing I find it because that almost makes it seem like there are people who can communicate telepathically or something...and I seemed to have missed the class on how to do that...

Oh, another thing is that I've been told by more than one person that I'm a good listener and easy to talk to whenever they want to share problems with me. I always try to be really understanding if people feel bad about some things. Also, I don't judge people for the problems they have because I know what it feels like to be told that you're too sensitive...really, honestly, what is the point in saying this to someone? Why is this something that people say to people?

And on that note, these same people who like to get emotional support from me are pretty quick with the "your too sensitive" comments or they won't listen to me whenever I need someone to listen to me.

Just one of the many things I'll never understand about people...



HighLlama
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27 Aug 2018, 3:11 am

Chronos wrote:
So NTs feel first and then think and those on the spectrum are more likely to think first and then feel.


Well put.



Joe90
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27 Aug 2018, 4:03 am

I think it's just frustrating for a lot of autistics to hear in the media how neurotypicals are naturally-wired empaths (with the vague description of empathy being "kind, caring, understanding") but so many autistics have been bullied and rejected by these "empathy experts". Bullies don't care how their victim feels. Bullying is never kind. People bully because they don't understand the victim's mind state. Bullying is selfish.
That is why a lot of autistic folk get wound up when we hear "autistics lack empathy, unlike neurotypicals".
I'm not saying all neurotypicals are bullies and I'm not saying all neurotypicals lack empathy. I'm just saying that anyone can lack empathy, whether you're autistic or not. Lack of empathy isn't an autistic thing.

Cognitive empathy is a social skill that a lot of autistics lack. I think it's more about recognising the outside of humans, like body language, stuff like that. Affective empathy is more the caring type, where you understand what's going on on the inside of a person, like feelings, thoughts, desires, etc. Autistics are more known to struggle with the cognitive empathy, which can look to others like they are lacking in affective empathy too. But a lot of autistics try to understand social cues and body language, which I believe is a form of empathy. Most bullies, the type that actually enjoy bullying with no guilty conscience, are the ones that lack affective empathy completely.


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27 Aug 2018, 10:27 am

fromamegaverse wrote:
I think it's more of neurotypicals have similar wiring with each other therefore know how to interact and interpret one another accordingly. While those on the spectrum have similar wiring and therefore know to interact and interpret one another accordingly. It's like two different cultures meeting for the first time. They both see the same things as meaning different things and therefore requiring different reactions. So I believe neurotypical and autistic empathy is probably the same.

This isn't true in my experience. Other people on the spectrum have misunderstood me too.



fromamegaverse
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18 Sep 2018, 9:31 pm

TheAP wrote:
This isn't true in my experience. Other people on the spectrum have misunderstood me too.


I don't agree with my original statement anymore. :P I realize now I simplified it too much.


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19 Sep 2018, 1:06 am

Joe90 wrote:
Autistics are more known to struggle with the cognitive empathy, which can look to others like they are lacking in affective empathy too.


You are totally wrong. Autistics may lack any kind of empathy even if having the other one but some of them may also have a to much of empathy and are just unable to control it. You find all this different kind of people here. :D We should start to sort the people and the different problems a little bit more instead of calling all of the people that have quite different problems the same. :!: