What NT accepted behaviour flumoxes you the most?

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lostonearth35
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09 Sep 2018, 11:50 am

Whenever you shake hands with someone for the first time, you never know where that hand has been or what kind of germs are on it.

I'll shake hands with someone if I have to, After all, it's one of the few polite things people still do. But I'll make sure to discreetly use some hand sanitizer afterwards.



quite an extreme
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09 Sep 2018, 12:36 pm

I don't like if quit normal guys start to act like as*holes just when some girls are around. OK, humans are apes and male apes want to impress the female apes because the females favor dominant males. But starting to act like a chimp just because girls are emotional chimps when it comes to guys?



quite an extreme
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09 Sep 2018, 12:42 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
Whenever you shake hands with someone for the first time, you never know where that hand has been or what kind of germs are on it.


It's mostly nothing that kills you.

lostonearth35 wrote:
I'll shake hands with someone if I have to, After all, it's one of the few polite things people still do. But I'll make sure to discreetly use some hand sanitizer afterwards.


That's the way to go. You can wash your hands afterwards if you feel the urge to do so.



MatchooW
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09 Sep 2018, 1:26 pm

Fashion is another weird thing. It's like willingly giving up your individuality. People think they're superior because they're fashionable, but being a follower is the definition of inferiority. I might never be a fashion setter, but I'm 100% sure that I don't want to be a follower.

I was walking through town in the evening one time and there was a couple of guys dressed for a night out. They made a few incorrect assumptions as I passed, the first was that I couldn't hear them mocking my casual clothes as I passed and the second was that they were somehow better than me. A third was probably that they were awesome. :lol:



MatchooW
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09 Sep 2018, 1:38 pm

quite an extreme wrote:
I don't like if quit normal guys start to act like as*holes just when some girls are around. OK, humans are apes and male apes want to impress the female apes because the females favor dominant males. But starting to act like a chimp just because girls are emotional chimps when it comes to guys?


Yeah, there's a lot of talk about who's an 'alpha' male and who's a 'beta' nowadays. I understand that from an NT point of view, but I don't understand why people are so eager to still fill those roles, even with the knowledge of them. It happens in groups of friends, there's always one who claims to be, or tries to be. Do those people understand the concept of friendship? There's no 'boss' friend. If someone tried to be my superior in a friendship that's supposed to be equal. To me, if it was a group of friends all with my mindset, if one tried to be 'pack leader', the rest of us would leave his in a pack of one and form a new one. :lol:



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09 Sep 2018, 1:44 pm

Shaking hands - germs

Saying something is "sad" or "you got mad", as if everyone has a moral obligation to suppress all negative emotions. At all times

Overusing the word "help" and "hurt"



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09 Sep 2018, 1:46 pm

Being convinced that all I need to cure the depression I've had to varying degrees for thirteen years is to "get out more" and have more social interaction, ignoring me when I say that I do get out and that I do get a significant amount of social interaction, because it doesn't fit their idea of it :roll: Their ideas involve hanging out at a restaurant that's always extremely crowded, or coffee shops that are only a little less crowded, and going out and doing things in other very crowded and busy places. Um, no, all that's going to do is send me into a shutdown.


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09 Sep 2018, 1:50 pm

This is acceptable in my country. Been told I was being rude for not doing it. I hate unwanted physical touch but must continue do it...

My culture is slighly different, I guess. In my home country, you're supposed to kiss people on the cheek one or two times in certain ocasions (although I'm still not sure when it's appropriate to do so, so I just let the other person initiate if they wish to do so), or you could be seen as being rude. It's especially a normal thing to do in familiar setting, even if you have never seen or heard of the family member. I never panicked when I was kissed on the cheek, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable. Why it is rude to not kiss back, that is something I have never understood. Actually, I find it somewhat disgusting and distressing. "Isn't that something that you should only do with your family and *very* close friends?", that is a though that always crossed my mind and I discussed it with my family many times. When I was younger, I would avoid it at all costs, unknowingly that it would be seen as rude, and I had a few ocasions I was told I was being rude (very directly), and since then I've been trying to cope with it by letting people kiss me on the cheek if they wish doing so and attempting a somewhat awkward kiss on the cheek by my part.

This part of the culture is annoying and I hope it can change with time, but I don't think I want to stay here much longer. If I had enough resources, I would leave this country already, I don't feel much connection to it aside from my language and family anyway. I still feel somewhat like a foreigner in my own country. I also hate the overly hot sunny days that consist most of the year. I don't have a problem with hugs and actually crave for it sometimes when it's with females, but when it's males I don't feel comfortable at all. I wished head pats where a thing in family setting but it's reserved for children. I wished you could just bow in polite situations. Shaking someone's hands is something that I don't seem to do a lot of the time, I think males do it more times between themselves in polite situations. In informal situations, I think they do hand shakes or pat their shoulders or their back. When it's female and female, you can hug (informal) or kiss on the cheek (polite or informal), when it's female and male I think you should only kiss on the cheek, or do nothing, but, as you can see, I'm still somewhat clueless (it also depends if you're a family member or not). Not only that, but you also have to know the level of intimacy to know how to adress the person, and sometimes it's tricky. I usually just call strangers in a polite way or by title or by their name with their title, but sometimes it's difficult to access the situation, so I might call people whose age is similar to mine in a polite way as well.


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ASPartOfMe
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09 Sep 2018, 1:55 pm

The need to chit chat just because they have a basic ingrown need to socialize.


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old_comedywriter
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09 Sep 2018, 1:58 pm

Flirting. My reaction has always been somewhere between being oblivious to complete denial.


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dragonsanddemons
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09 Sep 2018, 2:01 pm

Gossip. I will never understand why people think other people's business is any of theirs unless they're close friends, or think someone else's business is theirs to tell.


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MatchooW
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09 Sep 2018, 3:53 pm

old_comedywriter wrote:
Flirting. My reaction has always been somewhere between being oblivious to complete denial.


Me too. I've annoyed a few women through the years because of that. I've expressed interest in a woman, but not received anything back, or so I thought, then I get told I've been leading her on. I've been wrapped up in a woman and not done anything because I didn't think they were interested, they end up with someone else, then I learn later that I 'missed my chance'. I sometimes get down over 'the one that got away', but I also think the AS might have come between us in the end anyway. Finding an understanding partner is tough.



lostonearth35
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09 Sep 2018, 4:13 pm

quite an extreme wrote:
lostonearth35 wrote:
Whenever you shake hands with someone for the first time, you never know where that hand has been or what kind of germs are on it.


It's mostly nothing that kills you.

I don't really care if it doesn't kill me, I don't even want to get sick with some virus that makes me *feel* like I'm going to die for the next week or so. :skull:



quite an extreme
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09 Sep 2018, 5:05 pm

MatchooW wrote:
Yeah, there's a lot of talk about who's an 'alpha' male and who's a 'beta' nowadays. I understand that from an NT point of view, but I don't understand why people are so eager to still fill those roles, even with the knowledge of them. It happens in groups of friends, there's always one who claims to be, or tries to be. Do those people understand the concept of friendship? There's no 'boss' friend.:

The alpha male is only a female vision because they don't know men at all. Women are much more into alpha chimps. But only idiots follow a chimp and since there are weapons even a small man has been able to kill the biggest chimp.
Most men are still hunters and warriors. A natural leader of the men should be kind and honest to his people, nearly fearless, quite dominant, should have much knowlegde and good fighting skills, needs a clear body language and the clear gestic of a leader. He does anything to protect his people as they would do for him. Men know it once they look in his eyes. And he must be able to read quite easily the mind of other men. Most NT men are willingly to follow such kind of a leader and all other fear him because he attracts followers extremely fast. I'm tried this just for fun drunken in a disco. A strange story. I don't know why I'm able to be this way because I don't really like people. And I don't like girls that are into me after acting dominant because it's not what I'm like to be. I'm a little bit extreme and quite strange. Most men like me but girls don't even get me.



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09 Sep 2018, 5:57 pm

MatchooW wrote:
old_comedywriter wrote:
Flirting. My reaction has always been somewhere between being oblivious to complete denial.


Me too. I've annoyed a few women through the years because of that. I've expressed interest in a woman, but not received anything back, or so I thought, then I get told I've been leading her on.


Reminds me to me. I never got it. Therefore I started once to watch a girl how it will end up. Then a guy came to her tipped at her shoulder say a little bit to her and started to dance with her. Once she leaned on his shoulder once she moved back and he not even looked at her but started to talk to me of soccer. They acted like aliens to me and I didn't even know how they were doing it and how he could knew what she wanted. And the girl looked with sad eyes on me which sayd 'Why not you?'. And I didn't even knew what they were doing. This was the first time that I recognised my total lack of empathie without any clue how to get over it. :roll:



AltoClarinet
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10 Sep 2018, 2:35 pm

I don't get why a lot of neurotypicals like to make so much noise. Talking on cellphones in public, especially in places like buses where I can't escape the noise. Driving loud vehicles. Having music on too loud at parties, bars, etc. Listening to music too loud in headphones. Like why do you need to be surrounded by so much noise all the time?