Is it better to know about AS since childhood or not?

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I have physical disabilities that I feel limit me with life a lot more than my autism. The worst 1s weren't diagnosed till my late teens. I feel if they were correctly diagnosed when I was little instead of being told I was being difficult, I might could of got better help & treatment & maybe I would be doing better in life rite now. Instead I was just thrown to the wolves so to speak & was in trouble & bullied aLOT.
I'm also dyslexic & have other related learning disabilities along with AD[H]D that was diagnosed when I was in kindergarten. I was able to receive a few accommodations with skewl & was able to go to a skewl for dyslexia where I feel I did aLOT better than regular skewl.
I think having autism diagnosed as early as possible & being aware of it could potentially be a big help.

I was diagnosed when I was ten but I wish I was diagnosed younger, because my level of spd made elementary school hellish to me. I need support, even with it I struggle. I know myself better than to think I would ever just give up. I was a stubborn kid.

I would love to avoid years of panic attacks, flash backs and nightmares of elementary school, and would loved to of had the supports to not have daily meltdowns while being punished for them.

Some LD help would of been great too.

Perhaps if I was diagnosed younger we would of thought to sue my middle school for their illegal treatment of me too. I was and would be bullied regardless, I don't think that much would change.

I often wonder the same, whenever I see an autistic child or teenager who is aware of their diagnosis. I have been diagnosed as a preschooler, which was uncommon for a highly verbal girl of “normal” intelligence, but my severe and frequent meltdowns warranted the label. I got some support for it (a 1-1 teaching assistant until first grade, being exempted from P.E. from 4th to 6th grade, weekly play therapy, meds) but otherwise I was treated as a “normal child”. I wasn’t told about my diagnosis until I was a young adult, so I grew up believing I had to learn to act normal, I had to go to school, then to college, then get a job, move out and get married, like everyone else.

All of this helped me learn to control my outbursts, because I had no choice (my mom actually threatened to send me to a special school if I didn’t, which I dreaded because I had been raised to have contempt for people with non physical disabilities, and I didn’t know I had one). I learned to act normal, finished school and then graduated from college, like a “normal” young woman. Of course, I knew there was something different about me: I had only one friend, I suffered from bullying as a child, my motor skills were awful, I couldn’t stand some sounds that didn’t bother other people, I did weird things that people mocked me for (rocking, playing with my hands, etc.) And that affected me greatly: as I didn’t know I had ASD, I thought it was my fault. I believed I was the only person with these issues. My parents kept my diagnosis from me because they thought that knowing there was something “wrong” with me would harm my self esteem and hinder my development. But not knowing was not good either, because I grew up believing everything about me was wrong.

I’ve read an article by a man with ASD that deals with the topic of disclosing a diagnosis to a child. He said the best time is when the child realizes he/she is different from most children and begins to wonder why. That happens at a different age for every child (for me it was probably when I was ten and started taking psychiatric medication, which I was told was for “mad people”, to control my meltdowns and aggressive behaviors). Knowing it before would be needless and may cause the child to give up before trying something. Knowing later can damage self esteem and cause stress, anxiety, depression and other mental health problems. Also, learning your diagnosis as an adult can be a shocking experience (in my case, I had a huge crisis when I learned about it).

reading allot of these entries kinda opened my eyes, makes me actually happy I was not diagnosed as a child.

I didn't even know what AS is until a few weeks ago. But I have a twin and was mostly with him and some few friends. My twin and me had sometimes trouble and learned to fight with each other. That was an advantage when it came to other kids - there was no bully who wanted really to fight me because I was never anxious to fight with any other kids and integrated for this not as bad and did also many sh*t myself. That's why I was accepted and mostly liked by other guys. If it came to learning we hadn't to struggle at all and were allways on top of our the class. As a teenager it was impossible for me to find a girl friend without ever knowing whats wrong with me. After leaving the army once a girl got a crush on me and I decided to be with her and married her later. Last year my wife and me parted and I faced my problems again but even harder because I'm 50 now. But I learned a lot of the psychology of NT people and my own now and at least know my problems now.
If it comes to me it was a problem not to know as a teenager whats wrong with me and what made the girls reject me. I had to find out in a sh*tty hard way because no one ever really told me anything about my problems. The one who I think always knew it and should have told me is my mother. But this doesn't matters any longer now.

I am very very glad that I didn't know until well into adulthood. I would have preferred to learn this in my thirties or forties rather than in my sixties though, so that I could have given more informed guidance to my children, my self, and my grandchildren.

I am very much like B19. If I was diagnosed as a child in the 60’s I would have been institutionalized. If I would be diagnosed with today 25 to 40 hours a week of ABA combined with reading about what I can’t do, that I am part of an epidemic caused by vaccines, having “autistic” used as an insult I would need to be institutionalized.

In my 20’s I was close enough to normal that I did not need one. Getting diagnosed in my thirties instead of my fifties would have prevented my making decisions that altered my life in a very bad way.

Yes, the treatment can be worse than the cure. Especially in cultures that believe that if a little is good, more is better, and that you should get as much as the system allows. So, parents will max out treatment believing it is best for their kid. The therapists get paid by the hour, so it isn't in their interest to argue with the customer, who won't listen anyway.

A funny and relevant book about American culture is "The Rape of the Ape." The Official History of the Sex Revolution.

If parents had to take calculus before having kids they might realize that there is an optimum point before "as much as the system allows."

I was diagnosed at the age of sixteen, and I think this was fortuitous; I don't believe such a burden as an Asperger's diagnosis should be forced upon a child until he has developed at least some of the emotional, social and intellectual skills to deal with it.

I didn't know about AS until I was 32 years old, when I read about it in a book. The description sounded very much like me, particularly the parts about social awkwardness and intense special interests.

I was diagnosed as a child and known since I was 12.

How Does It Make Me Feel? How Does It Effect Me?

The answer to those questions is very mixed. For years I tried to ignore and live in denial of Autism unfortunately with bad consequences. Sometimes it feels as if Autism is in the way, sometimes I feel as if the Autism is in the background.

I think it is better in the long run to know from a young age and to learn to live with it and not resent it either.

I am also glad my parents didn't know either or me. I can't imagine all the excuses I could have been using. Just being ignorant and not knowing made me try harder and figure things out because I didn't know. If I did something wrong, I owned up to it and apologized and would make a memo in my head to not ever say that again because it gets kids upset and then I am a bad person. If I had used Asperger's then, then they would have been the bad guys for not understanding and how dare they get offended when I can't help myself, how dare they hold me responsible, oh these normies are so cruel and intolerant. I really wanted to be a good person and be likable and I didn't have an excuse then why this was all hard for me so I only blamed myself, not the other kids.

Sadly I have seen people out there with that attitude I bolded and it's not exclusive to autism. People with other disorders use that excuse too. They expect everyone to "just understand them" as if they shouldn't get offended by them or be hurt and to just feel about them different. My ex has that attitude about her BPD. I tried to have that attitude in high school and my parents wouldn't allow it. There is no "Yeah I screwed up and I am sorry, I hate who I am and I always blame myself." Instead it's "Sorry you feel this way about me, I wish you would read about my diagnoses to understand me better and I hope you will change how you feel about me." I really hope this isn't a common attitude among those with mental illnesses and disorders.

Agree with you with what you said. But even though I was told at a young age if I said something that was not appropriate especially at school I would still have to be corrected and apologise. Knowing my support teachers they’d do an entire social lesson on that mistake to make sure I won’t make it again. Autism/Asperger was not an excuse to be rude or to say inappropriate things at school and I have kept to that rule ever since.

"B19 / Forum Moderator"(28 Sep 2018, 7:03 pm) ... "I am very very glad that I didn't know until well into adulthood. I would have preferred to learn this in my thirties or forties rather than in my sixties though, so that I could have given more informed guidance to my children, my self, and my grandchildren." (End of Quote)

The man didn't expect the assembled delegates to start laughing at him, but he said, "That's ok."
Have they not always been laughing at us? [or worse]
To be able to endure a lifetime of put-downs&brutalizing&etc - that's a tall order. One can use the chance at 'finding out' at an earlier age as a start at building their own roadmap to navigate this world.
Every morning, we get up and go into the lab, to address our many challenges and develop better strategies.

I found at recently, as an adult.

I definietely think that knowing it as a child would've been eaiser not just for me but for everyone in my life including my teachers throughout my school years. My teachers never understood why I was the way I was. The only teacher I ever had who was good could tell that I was just different and tried his hardest to really help me but since he didn't know why I was different it was hard for him to know the best way to help me and I was just as confused myself about why I am the way I am. Unfortunately for many children it might not make that big a difference though as many teachers have little to no knowledge about autism.

I think it would've helped me develop a social life earlier on as well though if I got the diagnose as a kid because when I got the diagnose I started making friends for the first time and could share experiences on forums like this one with others who also have autism which has taken away the feeling that i'm alone in the world and no one will ever understand me because now i've met a lot of people who do understand me and my experiences.

All the support I need I could already have gotten as well... That could've decreased the amount of support I need now. My aspergers friends who got diagnosed as kids barely struggle at all and are very pleased with themselves.

What man? What lab? Sorry I don't know what you are referring to here.

(PS If you want to quote another member's post to reply to it, use the quote button which is on the RHS of their post and it opens a new box for you to show the quote and post your reply).