Why would any Aspie pretend to be NT or non Aspie/Autistic?

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I think context is important here because in many social situations it can be risky to reveal any personal information like this. I don't have a problem with talking about my true self, but you never know for sure what others are thinking.

I can say that many so-called normal people are actually quite delusional in their own right as many of them take their own subjective reading of reality as objective truth. So you'd essentially be challenging their fundamental world-view in just explaining your mental situation. You don't know if their resulting cognitive dissonance could result in some sort of aggressive or passive aggressive behavior towards you.

If you have a mild variant of autism and they see you as a regular person because they think all autism is like Rainman, you could be sending them down a rabbit-hole that may not appreciate being pushed into even if you had no intention of doing anything negative.

Are they pretending? Or do they have different socialization capacities than you do?

If another is able to engage in greater social interaction than I, are they pretending or is that just who they are? If they are able to go beyond what I can do, that's not pretending that is just a reflection that they are different than I am.

I can speak with strangers, in a rather brief, somewhat stilted manner, but I can do it. I know others cannot, but I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not. I do not often venture outside of the particular area of the spectrum in which I reside, but I do sometimes. None of it is pretending, certainly not on any conscious level.

It will serve you no good to compare yourself to others and prescribe different justifications. Be you. If you don't wish to carry on conversations with different people, that's who you are and there is nothing. If others can do it, it's likely because they're different than you and not because they are trying to be some they are not.

If we were all the same, conducted ourselves all in the same manner life would be intensely boring.

If you strike up a conversation and push yourself to do so, it's not because you're pretending it's because you're trying something different and something worthy of credit, even if it fails.

I get out and socialize with people because I want to be able to get back into the workforce. I also like to be around people, especially my friends. I figure that it's better than sitting around at home all the time. It's because I go bananas if I have to spend the entire day at home. Because I don't want to live in isolation. I don't try to be completely like everybody else. I get out to include myself to be with other people no matter how different I am. I can socialize with NTs and enjoy my favourite things and lucky objects at the same time.

Well, because your natural behavior is often deemed strange and off-putting, so you hide it to protect yourself from bullying/judgment/social isolation. it's important to find people in your life who know how you really are and accept you as that.

Two very good back-to-back posts from Cornfed and Rustifer I'll requote:

Essentially, those two quotes sum it up. Masking sucks, but do it for survival purposes. In a way, it does validate the OP, because, yes, we need to be wary of the "normies." Even if they all socialize well together, they're not all thinking the same things, and YOU don't know what any of them are thinking. Some of them can and do get hostile, aggressive, and occasionally violent when their worldview is challenged in ways their minds can't comprehend, regardless of what your intentions were. Maybe it's a Theory of Mind thing on both parts; be advised many people have, quite frankly, "tiny minds" when it comes to seeing things beyond themselves. I'm not even talking politics or major beliefs, more about how the social world is "supposed to work." When a wildcard such as an Aspie throws a wrench in the wheel, some of these folks may have their own sorts of meltdowns at YOUR expense.

Masking isn't about cow-towing to their needs, it's about looking out for your needs in order to simply go about your business in life. Masking is truly an exercising of caution.

You may ask, why should I have to change for them? Again, we KNOW we're different from most. The hostile ones, since they get along so well with everyone else, assumes everyone thinks like them, and that their aggression is totally justified. While most NTs aren't aggressive, the ones that are seem to feel their behavior toward you is totally acceptable in society's eyes because of your social deviation. Even the more docile NTs seem to forgive such behavior and passively agree we "had it coming" for being so different socially. So be cautious out there, unless you actually can afford to live like a hermit.

There are a lot of people on theAutistic Spectrum that are sociable naturally without even trying too hard and without even really masking much. I think it really depends on the person and the people they are surrounded by. I think there are some NT’s that are nice and there are some NT’s that can be nasty and the same with AS/ASD people there are some that are nice and some that are nasty.

It is a horrible thing to be lonely and isolated for anyone don’t matter who they are. Friendships and relationships is important to everyone whether ASD or NT.

Not all change is unreasonable, and like some people have said, they still do want to socialize.

For me, I wanted to lead my own life, be independent, and have my own space. That required a degree of masking regardless of who I am at home or what I really think. That's preferable to being fed and sheltered by my parents and living under their rules.

I don't always like people who say things that are rude or wrong without thinking. So it's wise for me to ask if I need to say everything I think, too.

Aspies pretend to be NTs for various reasons. Could be practical, could be personal, and above all, for survival. It is posted somewhere in this thread, and many accounts from some posts across this forum.

In my own terms; "Masking" and "Blending" are two different things.
But masking involves suppression from within and act contrary on the outside for any reason above.
While blending may mean between 'riding with the vibes and be in-synch with others' to 'blindly pretend to get along and copy what everyone does or prefer'.
In any case, I'd go with the latter's former.


In my world, in the very country I live in, in the family and community I've been born into -- I've witnessed many of these things, and I'm not talking about aspies acting NTs; I'm talking about NTs leaving their homes and coming back either drastically changed or mainly unchanged.
From where I live, there's a virtue we call "pakikisama".
This could mean adaptation and adopting traits/skills/ethics/etc, it could mean getting along with others, it could mean to be in synch with those who are different from you, it could also mean suck it up and swallow your pride because you're not in your territory.

Truth is that this is just another balancing act - it's like about regulating between personal preferences and practical means beyond your own preferences and point of view.

There are shades of natives acting foreigner.
It's entirely up to you which is useful, which is worth gaining or losing, which is just simply in cases of translations or entitely something new, which can get away with and which is more authentic to you while operating in the alien territory.
This is actually applicable to aspie-NT "translations".

And in my own case within my own hometown, I don't have to mask to blend, or do better than just blend in. I was born with more right traits, closer to right time, on the closest right place, and likely surrounded with the right people so to speak.

While I'm not against the idea of masking and who does them as long as there's a good reason why one chooses it. What I'm against is it's consequences and it's fundamental idea of an intent of lying about who or what the person is. And, by that, it's not something I'd easily chose.

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Most sane folks wouldn't even dignify the OP's question by giving it any response at all.

But since I am far nice than most people I will actually respond to it.

I will start my answer to the question with another question.

Why would an autistic ask a stupid question like "why would an autistic ever pretend to be neurotypical?"?

The obvious answer to the question "why would an autistic pretend to NT" is: "to survive".

There are a countless reasons why autistics pretend to be NT, but all of these countless reasons boil down to the same one reason: some aspect of survival.

The answer to the question "why would someone ask why...an autistic would ever pretend to be NT" is either (a) person asking is an idiot, or (b) the person asking is a troll.

It looks like the OP has been called out and owned.

End of thread?

I just wish the OP wouldn't be so mad at so many people.