Are my parents wrong to tell me to go to my room since Im 34

Post Reply New Topic

Next time you feel angry or feel the need to shout, can't you go out for a brisk walk instead out in nature? that way, you'll have time to yourself, let off steam and your parents can't send you to your room.

Just an idea.

I only yell at them when I got annoyed. Ok, everyone gets annoyed with people sometimes.

You seem angry at me for just asking a question. What sort of things do they do that annoy you ?

I'm not angry with you OK. I have alot of problems OK.

It's just your turn of phrase that makes it seem that why.

What sort of things do your parents do that annoy you ?

Its different things. For example, when they both have the tv up too loud and I ant too sleep. When I get upset during PMS. It's complicated.

I assumed that's why you would yell at them. Basically you are only yelling if they ask for it. That is what humans do. I used to yell at my mother when I lived with her, if we got into an argument, but she never told me to go to my room. So I understand how you are feeling.

And it's not always easy to just move out, especially if you have a disability of some sort, like ASD.

I think people here understand that. You're not wrong to be annoyed or angry, you just have to ask how much yelling will help. I'd love to yell at some people at work, but then I'll get fired, even if my anger makes sense.

I can relate to your anger over the TV/trouble sleeping. My neighbors can piss me off because they're loud (at least to me) and stay up later. But, I use earplugs which helps. Have you tried that?

PMS I can't comment on as I have only been on the receiving end of it and it can be very irrational from my past partners.

As for the TV too loud , do you just blow your stack straight away and go on the offense or do you ask them if they could turn it down as it's keeping you awake first.

Earplugs for the TV problem.

Yes, there is another option and one that would be a positive move for the OP: Stop Yelling. Yelling is not an effective method of getting your way.

I agree that if the OP is yelling, parents have the right to request she does it somewhere else. OTOH, if the OP brings her problems to the attention of her parents, they should listen to her and together they should try to come to some accommodations. Late night TV? ear plugs, parents can wear headphones, etc. Look for a way that solves the problem without hurting either side.

If you get upset easily with PMS, please consider consulting with your doctor regarding medications or other treatments to reduce the symptoms.

If you're yelling as the result of a meltdown, try to get help (therapist? doctor?) regarding other ways of either avoiding or reducing meltdowns.

In general, you (editorially) want to solve the actual problem. Not yell about them.

^ Good points, blazingstar. Thank you for giving those suggestions.

I understand where you’re coming from. I suffer from that as well.

PMS can be really annoying and cause my mood to flip, but at the same time your family should be more aware of your Autism and problems. Maybe you should remind them of this? My family and I are only just adjusting to AS, so loud music and TVs are still being played loudly! But before I flip I remind them and they turn it down. I think it takes a lot of adjusting to but in the end I think they'll just do instinctively to help me out.

You shouldn’t yell but I do understand your situation. Sometimes when you’re feeling bitty it’s easy to see red before you can help yourself. Parents reserve the right to send you to your room if you yell, so the idea here is to not yell and simply explain yourself, even if you are frustrated at the time. Keep calm and keep your head clear. Yelling will only make things worse. Remind yourself to just talk before losing your temper, otherwise it becomes awkward for you and for them.

Nat.

Thanks for your help everyone. I have it under control.

I can relate to that quite a bit.