ASDers with partners, how did you meet?

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Caz72
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08 Jan 2019, 12:50 pm

Ive always attracted men by doing nothing because i have this distinctive attractive look and i spend alot of time styling my hair but i dont do it for men but something about the way i look seem to attract them

The man im married to i met him at work but i been so put off by men from an abusive relationship in the past so i wasnt planning on dating ever again but i did have feelings for this particular man and i married him and we are happy
he's got personality disorder and might be on the spectrum but he was never diagnosed with asd but he is very understanding of my autism and he says he wouldnt want me any other way.


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blazingstar
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08 Jan 2019, 2:20 pm

On a river.


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Aspiewordsmith
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08 Jan 2019, 2:20 pm

I met my current girlfriend at our Asperger syndrome social club/support group in 2012 March 5th. The first conversations was our birthdays and the fact that her birthday is also my mum's birthday even right down to the same day of the week they were born on. I knew from the start that she has Asperger syndrome as (I do) and at the time I didn't fancy her but saw her as a friend and I would be there for her when she had family troubles and the break up of her first relationship. Also we had similar tastes in music as well. We also done walks into a country pub from the town centre during the summer and we got chatting about things, Asperger syndrome, family as well and then got together a month later on July 13th. That was in 2015 and I had already known her 3 years by that time and I also get on with her family. :arrow:



kraftiekortie
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08 Jan 2019, 2:21 pm

^^That's pretty romantic....



Angnix
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08 Jan 2019, 3:15 pm

I used to frequent a drop-in center, a social gathering place for anyone in the mental health system. One day this older Cuban guy walked into the center who was very social with everyone and showing everyone his poems he wrote. He lived in a group home. He started showing up regularly and one day I saw him at the computer with someone else, one of his poems was typed on the screen and they we're adding decorations to it. I said "I could do that really well!" So he handed me some poems and I did some work to them and he liked them so much he gave me a whole stack of poems to decorate! For some reason I started developing a crush on him but kept it to myself. Then one day after awhile he said " I want to come to your apartment and see how you do the poems and cook you food" I was wondering if he wanted something else too? Ehhh, I let him come over... Anyway yes he was interested in me too lol. We ended up living together then getting married. Though because he is sick I have a hard time with him, he doesn't have an abusive bone in his body.


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NeilM
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08 Jan 2019, 3:23 pm

I met my first wife thru my work. We didn't work together but I saw her fairly often. I asked her out, we fell in love, and after about a year got married. But alas it only lasted about three years.

My second wife I met thru a relative. At the time I was in the process of getting divorced from first wife and recently discharged from the military so back in my home town. Not finding anyone to date, I realized that my aunt worked at the local hospital (and had done so for like 30 years) and figured that of all the women who worked at a hospital, there had to be at least one or two who were single, interested in dating, etc. So I asked her if she knew anyone like that and she said she would see what she could do. She put me in touch with one, I contacted her, we dated, and soon became soul mates. We married and have been together for over 30 years.

So if you are looking for a partner, relatives can be a big help.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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08 Jan 2019, 4:03 pm

This includes only people I dated for some period of time. In reverse chronological order...

1. At Starbucks
2. A colleague's ex
3. At a bar
4. Online
5. At a bar
6. At my job
7. At a beach
8. At a theater performance
9. At a friend's party
10. At a bookshop
11. At a street festival
12. At a university party


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AnneOleson
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08 Jan 2019, 11:16 pm

At work. :heart:



Northeastern292
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09 Jan 2019, 11:24 am

OkCupid.

Speaking of which, why is this not in the L&D subforum?



Redxk
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09 Jan 2019, 2:13 pm

My wife and I met at church.



ToughDiamond
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09 Jan 2019, 3:00 pm

Northeastern292 wrote:
OkCupid.

Speaking of which, why is this not in the L&D subforum?


In a thread called "I hate stereotypes," there was some talk about the stereotyped places where people are supposed to meet partners and the reluctance of many ASDers to go there. Then somebody suggested a thread could be started asking where ASDers met their partners, to reassure people here that they don't really have to go to the stereotyped places. As I thought that was a good idea and I was in a good mood, I started the thread. It was a tad against my usual ways to do so because I'm reluctant to initiate anything, and the few threads I've previously started here have had very few replies, but I like pushing the envelope so I thought I'd give it a whirl, and just look at all these lovely responses :-) You're correct that technically it would be neater if I'd put it in the Love & Dating subforum, but people do sometimes love-related questions in the General forum and they seem to get away with it. I think it's also possible that a lot of ASDers with partners don't often visit the L&D subforum (I don't myself), and maybe putting it here got the reply count up. I won't be upset if the mods move it now. The topic has had a good enough airing to prove its original point and to allow me to surpass my hitherto weak performance as a starter of popular threads, though I can't take credit for the original idea.

Thanks for all the replies, folks. It's good to see that we can be successful in such an important walk of life by doing things our way and not by just copying the mainstream stereotype for once.



Magna
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09 Jan 2019, 3:06 pm

At work.



AnneOleson
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09 Jan 2019, 3:08 pm

AnneOleson wrote:
At work. :heart:

I should add that we met 33 years ago. We were colleagues and friends for 3 years first, going out together for dinner at times but not considering it to be dating. I moved quite far away and that’s when it finally became a relationship! I moved back to the general area after 3 years. We moved in together and married after 11 years. A very long engagement. And still very happy.



naturalplastic
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09 Jan 2019, 3:16 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I met my fiancée in high school.

In subsequent years, I would be, in the vast majority of cases, be introduced by friends, or we would be co-workers

I met a couple of lovers on the subway.


"I met my old lover
On the street last night..."
(Paul Simon --> Still Crazy)

Now this will be in my head all day! Thanks for the visual, korts!


Except that Simon was singing about bumping into an "old" lover from years ago "on the street" last night. Not about starting a relationship by meeting someone "on the street" last night.



IsabellaLinton
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09 Jan 2019, 3:19 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I met my fiancée in high school.

In subsequent years, I would be, in the vast majority of cases, be introduced by friends, or we would be co-workers

I met a couple of lovers on the subway.


"I met my old lover
On the street last night..."
(Paul Simon --> Still Crazy)

Now this will be in my head all day! Thanks for the visual, korts!


Except that Simon was singing about bumping into an "old" lover from years ago "on the street" last night. Not about starting a relationship by meeting someone "on the street" last night.


I know, but "lovers on the subway" made me think of "lover on the street". I think in rhythms and tend to loop sounds like echolalia. The song was in my head for hours after reading korts' comment.


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ToughDiamond
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09 Jan 2019, 3:30 pm

This is a song referring to a romance starting de novo from a meeting at a bus stop. :-)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZEoKqjfvkw