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Not Feeling Quite Human

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Kerguelia
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03 Mar 2019, 3:43 am

If I were to be an animal...I think I'd be an anhinga. I'm birdlike to begin with. I want to fly and swim deep in the water. I always had a fascination with impaling my food and my favorite is fish of any kind. I like making a noise that's similar to an anhinga noise. Hell I even do the holding out my "wings" (arms) thing.



SpaceCadet89
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03 Mar 2019, 12:40 pm

I used to feel 'less than' in most cases, and like I shouldn't be here, there, anywhere. However I have managed to get to the point of not caring so much about what other people think - I try to maintain the attitude of if they don't like it they can lump it. Accepting that I'm not and most probably will never be like the majority helps somewhat, I guess. :shrug:



ElabR8Aspie
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03 Mar 2019, 1:34 pm

I'm me,living a human experience in a deceptive and corrupt enslaved system.

That's what i like about those on the spectrum,there direct,they say what they mean,they are and will forever be the only people i can trust. : )


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 159 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 75 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." --Ralph Waldo Emerson


MagicMeerkat
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03 Mar 2019, 2:37 pm

Kerguelia wrote:
If I were to be an animal...I think I'd be an anhinga. I'm birdlike to begin with. I want to fly and swim deep in the water. I always had a fascination with impaling my food and my favorite is fish of any kind. I like making a noise that's similar to an anhinga noise. Hell I even do the holding out my "wings" (arms) thing.


That's just like me and meerkats! I make meerkat noises when no one is around (except my boyfriend who finds it cute). I once had a therapist tell me I should try to be more like meerkats and be more social with people. WTF? Meerkats are social animals, but not with human beings. That lady was a total idiot anyway.


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Kerguelia
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03 Mar 2019, 6:19 pm

MagicMeerkat wrote:
Kerguelia wrote:
If I were to be an animal...I think I'd be an anhinga. I'm birdlike to begin with. I want to fly and swim deep in the water. I always had a fascination with impaling my food and my favorite is fish of any kind. I like making a noise that's similar to an anhinga noise. Hell I even do the holding out my "wings" (arms) thing.


That's just like me and meerkats! I make meerkat noises when no one is around (except my boyfriend who finds it cute). I once had a therapist tell me I should try to be more like meerkats and be more social with people. WTF? Meerkats are social animals, but not with human beings. That lady was a total idiot anyway.

Can you PM me? I'd like to tell you about something but don't want it out there for everyone to see. (It's nothing bad, I promise.) You have that feature turned off though, so I can't send you a message.



ZackMichel
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03 Mar 2019, 7:13 pm

NotQuiteHuman wrote:
A lot of neurotypical behavior seems to be a filtering of basic instincts via a highly developed social brain that focuses on subtlety and deception, and at this I constantly fail. This isn't all there is to my non-normative experiences, but it's a big source of my general anxiety. It's mentally and even physically painful to have to alter and filter one's natural responses to stimuli!! ! Anyone else struggle with this?


So, I don't know about chimpanzees, but I have struggled with feeling not human at several major junctures of my life. One led to an eating disorder. One led to me believing I was an alien spirit trapped in a human body (literally)... I had my fair share of magical thinking growing up. It's exhausting trying to put on the filter and mask for the world around me. Usually I don't even bother to interact because doing so is arduous.