Do people think you have motives?

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I have always claimed that I am motivated by selfishness, even when accused of altruism. In some cases it's the warm fuzzy feeling... or maybe mitigating the guilt for something else.

i don't see you as having motives at all. I see you as starting genuine discussions.

I think what you are trying to say is "ulterior motives". If you say that someone has an ulterior motive for doing something, you believe that they have a hidden reason for doing it.

Yes, sometimes people will accuse me falsely of this. I do not look people in the eyes. They find it very difficult to read me and if they try, they generally get it wrong. As a result, I am sometimes accused of being cold-hearted and self-centered, unfriendly.

Do you think they mean motives as in deliberately manipulating people/conversations for some undeclared end? As in perhaps hidden motives, or what they might perceive as unhealthy motives?

I don't know you and I'm certainly not saying that's what you're doing,but I've found when NTs have a problem about your motives it usually means they don't understand what your real motives are, they can't believe you're as straightforward as you are, and that they think you want something you're not stating but are angling for.

Exactly...
Altruism is simply another form of self-indulgence ultimately...
If you didn't get something out of it, you wouldn't do it...
Simples...

Yes, but sometimes what "I" get is "something for my group" or "a 'lottery ticket' for my investment."
We have an instinct to help others, because a group succeeds more when we cooperate. Both infants and chimps will spontaneously help a stranger who has "accidentally dropped" something out of their own reach, but easy for the subject to retrieve for him. We are not highly selective. Female cats will sometimes try to care for the orphans they create. About all it takes is big eyes and clumsy motions.

The OP means "ulterior" motives. Not "motives". There is always a "motive" ( it might be obvious and good, or it might be hidden and or bad). Kinda like how hipsters say "having an attitude" to mean "having a bad attitude".

Folks sometimes project bad motives on to you. And they aren't always right.

Kinda like in real offline life (and sometimes online as well) you get folks thinking you're lying when you're telling the truth. Sometimes they even think that they are doing you a favor, and do this "I know that you're lying" thing when I you're not lying.. Even when they think that you're being nice to you when they do that you wanna kick their ass for insulting you. Have toyed with the idea of saying "don't project yourself onto others please. Just because you are inveterate liar doesn't mean that everyone is."

Overwhelmingly, autistics have an inherent moral compass...
If a little old lady drops something/k, I automatically pick it up for her without thinking...
This is simply a reflex action...
And it is simply connected to our genetic coding, beyond social conditioning...
Yes I know, other people do it too...
But it is a stronger instinct for most of us...

The bottom line is:
While this moral compass can be helpful in a group situation, it is intrinsically manipulative on an instinctual level...
And I refuse to be an unthinking "robota:... where I can help it...

We will always be misunderstood, so yes, people think I am really full of myself when I hate myself, can't look in a mirror without wanting to cry, and I don't even think I deserve to live, sometimes. Mostly due to how much shame others really want me to feel because apparently I come off as shameless. The truth is, I am shameless, though. I don't care about certain things because I see no point to them. I see no point in not using plastic straws to "save the turtles" when we're all being dumped with chemicals from the sky, so f**k everything. Go ask the government to save the f*****g turtles and stop looking at me like I'm some kind of demonic turtle slayer every time I offer a straw to a guest at my restaurant or GOD FORBID use one myself.

Turns out that person who accused me of having motives was just a troll because they deleted their thread and started a whole new one in a different sub asking a creepy question totally contradicting their other thread because things didn't add up. I am betting this person likes to create random fake threads and then will delete them when they get bored. I wonder what their next roll will be. Talk about projection as someone mentioned.

Seconded!



I think you hit the nail on the head. I also have this problem when texting people.

People rarely bother to read or listen to everything I say. Sometimes they then assume my politics is the opposite of what it is.