13 reasons why I dislike having Asperger's
I'd much rather be autistic than NT. I don't understand and in many cases don't like the way their minds work. The frustrations I experience from autism (forgetting where I am or where I'm going, sometime s offending people, sensory issues, and much more) are part of a whole I that I nevertheless prefer. Analogous to liking being tall but sometimes annoyed by bumping one's head. Or living in a beautiful house that has some plumbing problems.
What I don't like is the way some other people react to me and that society is not set up for people like me--not the way I am.
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"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."
13 reasons why I like having aspergers:
1. I think more deeply than other people and that leads me to have an increased understanding than most people with anything I get into.
2. My special interests are things that will give me a great leg-up in life (math and science stuff) and my education.
3. I have no desire for a social group at all, and social groups seem like a stressful pain in the ass so I feel I dodged a bullet.
4. Most NT's do stupid things just to impress people, I do not because I do not change for people.
5. My adherance to routine created a routine that is optimized for productivity. and my inflexibility to change it keeps me working hard.
6. To the people I do get close to, I am loyal to an ABSOLUTE degree.
7. When people betray me, I am sad at first but can easily emotionally detach from them and move on.
8. I don't need other people for validation.
9. I am more individualistic because I do not care about social norms so long as breaking them is not illegal.
10. I have a better time than NTs communicating with others with aspergers, whom I consider far more pleasant to be around.
11. I am logical and take no BS. If you tell a little white lie, I will know, and I will not tolerate it, because people ought to get the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
12. Paradoxally, my aspergers has given me more confidence because I feel less inhibitions from being myself and as a result experience personal successes.
13.I am not a collectivist potsmoking loser, like most NTs seem to be.
Would I rather not have Asperger's? I cannot categorically say so. Here are the reasons I don't hate it.
1) The ability to stay focused on task until completion.
2) The ability to work alone, self-reliance.
3) Resourcefulness.
4) The ability to be invisible in a crowd.
5) Single minded talent for analysis.
6) Intellectual capacity for tech/computers.
7) Reading people by body language/vocal intonations.
These traits with a few others combined with my father's strict upbringing and training gave me a skill set that prepared me for a long and substantive career. So I say to you that we are what we are. You can hate what you are, but that changes nothing. Make the most of what you are and what you possess. Something my mother always told me, "Life is what you make it". We have the power to choose what we do with our lives.
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The impossible is only something that hasn't been done yet.
betty_ferret
Snowy Owl
Joined: 22 Mar 2019
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 129
Location: World of Warcraft
2. I used to throw a lot of tantrums one of them led to being institutionalized for a while. I haven't had a tantrum in months but I still can't get over what happened this summer
3. I can't drive because I have motor Skills Difficulties
4. People are condescending towards me about my disability and treat me like I'm way more disabled then I really am
5. I don't have very many friends
6. I Have a low pain tolerance
7. My Dad Always lectures me because it's the only way he can get through to a person with Aspergers
8. I can't handle criticism
9. I have a very obsessive/adictive personality
10. I'm brutally honest
11. People don't always take me seriously
12. I get anxious easily
13. I can't handle change
I agree with every single one of those! Every single one of those!! ! Except for the first one, okay. But literally everything else is spot on, exact replica of me! sorry...I just didn't know this was a thing until very recently
The dilemma of not being disabled enough, yet not able enough has (more often than not) proved most troubling e.g., being "caught in the middle" so to speak!
Back before the Autism Spectrum was fully acknowledged, I was once interpreted as having Autism-like characteristics, and being a slower learner. Such characteristics were never incorporated into a formal diagnosis e.g., those hated labels, and labeling ironically mentioning just about everything, yet almost nothing for..........Autism itself.
Back at the time (the 1970s), the process of integrating disabled-kids into regular education programs happened with way too little in the way of transitioning (for lack of better words) resources.
In short, the slower learner interpretation (albeit seen as an informal interpretation) seemed a good interpretation (and still is a good interpretation); yet it was acknowledged that I was not quite disabled enough (Autism-like was not formally understood as HFA, or Aspergers). Hence, without a formal "Autism-like" label, I basically didn't qualify, and be seen as someone who would qualify for those (what would have been good quality resources) e.g., services, schools, experiences, etc.
In a nutshell, not quite being disabled enough is almost as much of a negative thought, as imagining what life would have been like if I was somewhat more abled! Go figure!
I can relate to a high percentage of your reasons. There is a lack of support for those with higher function. Most administrators in both NHS and for profit healthcare models only see the short term costs, often denying supports that would likely prevent more expensive conditions such as homelessness or diabetes. As a child and young adult I was on public healthcare and HMO plans. On these plans there was a one size fits all attitude. Your doctor was assigned, and getting a new one was not an easy task. The area that I live in now all but stopped accepting HMO insurance in favor of PPO. With PPO we can choose any provider that we wish, with discounts offered for that provider being in network. I have noticed that the practices have become more patient oriented, probably due to the fact that we can change doctors for any reason without having to get the approval from some administrator.
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RAADS-R Score 199
Aspie-Quiz Neurodiverse score: 141/200
Aspie-Quiz Neurotypical score: 70/200
AQ 42
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