dyadiccounterpoint
Velociraptor
Joined: 31 Jan 2019
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 464
Location: Nashville
21 Jun 2019, 8:31 pm
If one is to partake in this satiated emotional gratuity, perhaps a passion for the intellect is the best sort of investment of that energy 
21 Jun 2019, 8:38 pm
What "hope"?
False hope 
Until around age 21 (autism diagnosis, flunk structural engineering, gender identity Disorder) I "knew " there was hope
As usual I was wrong
"Hope" for what?
A 
normal life is not happening
Realistically
The best case scenario is, graceful degradation
The worst case scenario is , subject to imagination 
Seriously
21 Jun 2019, 11:59 pm
False hope Until around age 21 (autism diagnosis, flunk structural engineering, gender identity Disorder) I "knew " there was hope
As usual I was wrong
"Hope" for what?
A
normal life is not happeningRealistically
The best case scenario is, graceful degradation
The worst case scenario is , subject to imagination
Seriously
I guess by "hope" I mean company. At least we have the knowledge of the company of others out there like us.
22 Jun 2019, 12:01 am
It may be more perseveration than stimming. <shrug>
I haven't researched what stimming entails.
I actually enjoy going over concepts in my mind repeatedly before going to sleep.
I am fascinated by the workings of the brain.
Interesting. I also do that sometimes. Anything that makes a sound (noises/words/music/clickers/clackers/whistles/air horns) is soothing (well, maybe not air horns).
BTW, That is an impressive brain you have there sitting on the chassis of a tank.
Do you use it defensively or aggressively?
I have a problem with bullies.
I have used it aggressively/defensively against NTs
22 Jun 2019, 9:41 am
22 Jun 2019, 9:58 am
About making noises... When I first was in secondary school they had long corridors and lots of children (Mostly older and as I sas short... It was a bit claustrophobic, so to help myself go through the corridors, I would pretend my bag was a car console with an imaginary gear stick and I would make car noises as if I was driving a car. I did this for quite a while until one day I had been bullied... It was by a friend from the primary school... He had issues of his own... and I became the target. It cam to a head when his new close friend (As I had been his close friend until an event happened where my and his parents didnt see eye to eye when he had done something wrong... All forgiven now many years later!)
But as my dad had gone to see both parents after it was a two against me fight had broken out (And I don't fight without a major cause e.g. repeated bullying) and the other young man had told my dad what I used to do in school, and I had quite a telling off for my percieved childish behaviour in school. The other young man does habe a very good mum and dad and naturally they did make sure he came to me to apologise, which was very good for his parents and he was very brave to do this. I had to stop the car noises though. It made me need to try to run through the corridors to get out... But usually teachers would tell me off for running or aalking too fast.. I just had to when the corridors were busy.
22 Jun 2019, 5:39 pm
22 Jun 2019, 5:41 pm
But as my dad had gone to see both parents after it was a two against me fight had broken out (And I don't fight without a major cause e.g. repeated bullying) and the other young man had told my dad what I used to do in school, and I had quite a telling off for my percieved childish behaviour in school. The other young man does habe a very good mum and dad and naturally they did make sure he came to me to apologise, which was very good for his parents and he was very brave to do this. I had to stop the car noises though.
It made me need to try to run through the corridors to get out... But usually teachers would tell me off for running or aalking too fast.. I just had to when the corridors were busy.I'm always fascinated by the little tricks we learned to survive our individual worlds. That's a great story, thanks for sharing.
22 Jun 2019, 5:59 pm
I am going to need to start experimenting with animal noises. I've never made an attempt to make my noises sound like anything recognizable to anyone but me. I may be missing out on a good thing.
O
What you could do is make an animal noise, but then look daft at someone else and everyone will assume the other person made the noise!
We used to have a collage teacher who taught micro electronic systems and he used to randomly cluck like a chicken, and none of us would dare ask him why he did that!
Maybe walking in the park you can make a noise like the birds do. This will be fun and won't be seen as odd, as other people will assume you are calling the birds.
22 Jun 2019, 6:16 pm
I used to "stim" (silly word I insist on putting in quotation marks), mainly in mimicking other people's stock-phrases that I found amusing, but I've since grown out of it. I never did it in public.
I tried for just plain Persephone, but it had already been taken. Had to add my birthdate, is that what you did too?
Yes, except that eighteen, not my birthdate, is rather one of my favourite numbers.
22 Jun 2019, 8:46 pm
I am going to need to start experimenting with animal noises. I've never made an attempt to make my noises sound like anything recognizable to anyone but me. I may be missing out on a good thing.
O
What you could do is make an animal noise, but then look daft at someone else and everyone will assume the other person made the noise!
We used to have a collage teacher who taught micro electronic systems and he used to randomly cluck like a chicken, and none of us would dare ask him why he did that!
Maybe walking in the park you can make a noise like the birds do. This will be fun and won't be seen as odd, as other people will assume you are calling the birds.
I like it! I'll let you know how it goes.
I'll be a ninja noisemaker
22 Jun 2019, 8:49 pm
For us, it seems.
I don't have a problem with people finding happiness generally, in their lives.
If it comes my way, I am fine with that also. <shrug>
The "hunting" part just isn't really my thing.
It's too much like stimulating the brain of a lab-rat with electrodes to achieve an orgasm.
We have certain genetically motivated responses as a result of certain environmental stimuli.
We are running around like Pacman/Pacwoman, mindlessly gobbling up bites of happiness.
Sort of like a Pacperson running around with its head cut off.
Oh, look, mummy!
Another piece of bliss over there!
<piddles in pants through glee>
Ludicrous. <chuckle>
Last edited by Pepe on 22 Jun 2019, 9:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.
22 Jun 2019, 8:55 pm
Do you use it defensively or aggressively?
I have used it aggressively/defensively against NTs
I would use it: aggressively/aggressively.
I have a major problem with the social structure of the dominant life-form on this world.
Edit:
I was replying to another post and was blocked from posting by "Cloudflare".
Interesting.
22 Jun 2019, 9:52 pm
False hope Until around age 21 (autism diagnosis, flunk structural engineering, gender identity Disorder) I "knew " there was hope
As usual I was wrong
"Hope" for what?
A
normal life is not happeningRealistically
The best case scenario is, graceful degradation
The worst case scenario is , subject to imagination
Seriously
I guess by "hope" I mean company. At least we have the knowledge of the company of others out there like us.
Every situation is different
For example, just because
some autistics work in STEM, married, friends, doesn't mean I have "hope" to likewiseBecause I am a special snowflake
Maybe the only thing I have in common, with the married autistic , is that we are autistic
But finances, appearance and personality matter too
Oversimplified
False hope
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