Sibling bullying of autistic children

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being the oldest i never was bullied. peaceful co-existence.

Being the middle child, I received abuse from above, from below, and from my classmates.

I know right. Family members should be your best friends not your worst enemies. The worst thing is that the parents see sibling bullying as normal and they expect their kids to put up with it. If the child says that their sibling is bullying them, the parents accuse the child of being too sensitive, hateful, rude, arrogant, unloving or ungrateful. They sometimes even accuse them of lying and playing the victim.Parents also use the, "He/she's your brother/sister" excuse to deny reality that not all family members are as good and innocent as they think. Parents that think sibling bullying isn't real but have a problem with non siblings or family members bullying their child are hypocrites, delusional and naive.

You're so lucky

I'm newly diagnosed and told my mother.
I was victimised as a child by my siblings and parents.
I hinted to my mother if she had told my siblings and she said yes, none of them were surprised.
What does surprise me is that not one of them have come forward (Dad can't he is departed) and apologised for the various things they did and said to me.
Having said that, long before I was diagnosed, I spoke on the phone to my mother about me being picked on in general when I was younger and her response was two things "She implied Dad was cruel to her which is why she took it out on me" and the other response was "You will not get an apology from anyone, I can tell you that now"
Can anyone tell me what do I make of that?
I deduce that she doesn't care.
I am trying to prime them to forget about me, by dropping hints, ie, my mother forgot to post Christmas money into my account like she normally does. This can be excused, covid, elderly, new great-grand daughter etc. She emailed me to tell me she had forgotten to put the money in. I said I never gave it a second thought and she should not have bothered. I also said for her to think about her other offspring and not me, as they are flourishing, she didn't take the hint.
She has lots of money, putting money into my account is not caring.
Saying something like "God bless you, I remember yelling at you for things that were autism related all along" is caring.

↑ You are about the same age I was when I got my diagnosis.  Reactions like your mother's from my own family is why I have never told anyone -- not directly, anyway.  I did ask the most sympathetic sister if she would look up "Hans Asperger" some day and tell me what she thinks.  That was two years ago, and not a word has been said since.

I remember how my relatives treated me when I went temporarily homeless.  To them, my problems were solely my own, and there was no need for any of them to get involved and try to help.  Even after I had lifted myself out of that situation, there were no congratulatory words.

So I do not think that I will ever "come out" to them as having an ASD.

You sound like there is a lack of family support.
To be homeless and blamed for it is terrible.

There was a lot of favoritism in my family, and those "favorites" got all the breaks even when they totally effed up.