Know thyself

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^ Hahah us aspies always overanalyze don't we? Tbh i often had these kinds of thoughts too. Maybe when i was younger i didn't know who i am but now i feel like i am another person already. And i know who this person is. I feel like i created this person or maybe accepted it as she was? Anyway i'm not sure if there even is a thing called real self. People change according to things they go through all the time.
I don't think you should pressure yourself to "know yourself" either. When you're thinking in circles it's best to keep yourself busy with something. Too much thinking doesn't solve anything imho. (I should take my own advice too! )
Also i get what you mean by getting confused when there are too many emotions. I've heard that it's very common with aspies too.

Maybe I do have asperges... Oh gosh. I have no idea! Haha. Is only recently... Well, is only about a month or two before I joined this site that I was thinking maybe I am on the spectrum and what is scarey is the more I write my experiences the more I seem to fit the criteria. Scarey. Well. If I am found to be on the spectrum after being assessed, it is quite a change for me. I mean... Yes, I will be the exact same person, and in a few ways I can see certain ways things will be soo much easier! I fear hospitals, blood tests and things like that (Unfortunately the two are combined into one experience!) So if I am able to explain things if I ever need another blood test I can use this drop in centre I once used which is soo much easier. Only once was allowed to use it, and I was really surprized to be ok after having my blood taken. Ooh. Another thought... If I do have asperges, then the situations that I used to describe as energy loss will definately be partial controlled shutdowns, and you know what this means? I won't need to have any blood tests! Yipee! I do so hope it is asperges... I disslike blood tests and hospitals soo much. I like the people and tne staff... But the long corridors and the waiting room for those blood tests...
Also, another fear is dentistry work... After many hears of waiting to have teetn removed where I was too nurvous that I had to go to a specialist who injected me to knock me out (The wierd thing was I coped with the injection as they wiped some stuff on my arm where I didn't feel it and then I was out... The first time ever... And it was great to wake up knowing nothing about it! My thoughts are (As I went on severl waiting lists as someone kept taking me off the list) that maybe they will take me more seriously? I have a really lovely and kind lady dentist, but I am sometimes in an inward panic just in having a check up! One thing that once helped me and I don't know why. The previous dentist once had to work on my teeth and she had me wear an orange eyeshield thing. It was awesome. I was so enjoying seeing this new orange world, I wasn't concentrating on my teeth at all, though I was slightly less panicky in those days.

Would I get help in these aspects if I am found to be on the spectrum? I drink soo much water due to nurves before the dentist they often have to find me in the toilet instead of the waiting room when I am called! Oops!

This reminds me of Penelope's ASD career page where she talks about emails she's received relative to personality type --- e.g. this person self-reported as an INTP, but these three sentences indicate an ENTJ. It was funny. By the way, I am ENFP which she writes: "They are the only type that can test as anything. They are very flexible, open thinkers and they don’t like being boxed in by any one type. But they are the only type that feels this way. So not wanting to be just one type (and being able to identify with all types) is just part of being an ENFP." I often test as INFP, ENFP, INFJ, ENFJ, most recently ISFJ also! but never a T for me. (unless the T is at the end meaning Turbulent)

Perhaps to know ourselves is to know our flexibility (within a wider range).

All those are just letters to me. What do they stand for?

@Mountain Goat, the Myers-Briggs personality tests. Allegedly most people test "incorrectly" b/c of social pressures (e.g. for an engineer to THINK; I am an engineer that thinks and FEELS). I enjoy the mental doodling about it in any case. (Yes, @AprilR, FUN to overanalyze sometimes -when it doesn't cause misery.)

Mayers-Briggs. Not sure who she is. (Or he is?). I assume it is a set of tests this person has made so people can be assessed? You can tell I don't actually know a lot.
I am trying to follow what you mean... Well. When I work on bicycles, I need to feel what I am doing. We are supposed to wear gloves, but I have had to cut the fingers off to be ablw to do my job properly as if one can't feel, one can't really work. I already have a partly numb thumb as I once did something to my sholder where I was in pain for a few months and for a couple of years it would click. I was a little scared to go to a hospital about it. On rare occasions I have had electric shocks going down my spine which could have something to do with it? It healed and then my cousins eldest boy decided to mess about and gave me a karate chop on my sholder and I went through it all again! My thumb has gone numb so I can't feel splinters etc.
I am very careful that I don't stub my toes as I have done it so many times in the past!

Mmm. I don't mask and only learnt about it recently when i saw it mentioned on this web site. I'm not saying the identity issue and going around in circles are related. But thinking about it now they may be. Having a clear sense of direction helps us know who we are and vice versa. We need people around us who reflect back to us who we are. This does not happen when we live in our own little worlds isolated from others. Thanks for giving me more food for thought.

@League_Girl, I find "optimsm bias" when I search for "it won't happen for me". Studies on that. Humans are funny.



@Mountain Goat, funny you ask s/he, because I just assumed the personality test was devised by men, but it was devised by women (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isabel_Briggs_Myers). It's one of those fun things like Enneagram, etc.

Numbness is scary. I was told that when nerves can grow back they do so 1mm a year. When numbness is increasing that's scary. I have numbness from childbirth that is problematic and I fractured my finger 3 yrs back (dr said no treatment) and have weirdness from that - but not worse, just the same.



@outerspacenik, exactly. And when there is a reflection, I have a problem discerning to which degree it is true (good or bad).

Last edited by SharonB on 06 Aug 2019, 6:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks SharonB.

Anybody reconsider Mindfulness?
LINK on Mindfulness: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness

I learned some mindfulness techniques when I was dealing with extremely difficult emotional hardships --- ironically I got the techniques from a book about dealing with severe physical pain. Emotional pain and physical pain are awfully similar. And then again when a therapist suggested walking meditation for me - in a mindful state. For me it was useful to reduce anxiety. Do you use it and feel a better sense of self?

The first post could have been about me, 2 years ago, before diagnosis

@MrsPeel, how did you settle on a sense of self, or is simply a non-issue for you now? (BTW - I am 1 year your junior in age.)

Mindfulness has helped over time in becoming more conscientious e.g., a personal-growth of sorts - which is favorable for HFA in understanding our selves, as well as our places in the world at large.