I’m struggling to accept my Autism (Aspergers) diagnosis

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There's so much negativity and misconception about autism that I can understand why you're having a hard time accepting it. When I was diagnosed in 2001 I accepted it quite quickly, but back then I no idea just how incredibly idiotic anti-vaxxers would get, I had never heard of Autism $peaks, I which might not have existed yet, or the geniuses who have no problem forcing their kids to take bleach enemas but think vaccines are made with aborted fetuses and other insane tin-foil hat wearing nonsense.

I never realized back then how much I'd grow to hate the word "empathy", or how every time a grisly is committed (in the US) autism seems to nearly always be the killer's defense. Back in 2001 the stereotype about aspies seemed to be that we were all just nerds. I wish it had stayed that way.

In spite of all this, I'm still glad I was diagnosed, my mother told me about instead if lying to me like the psychiatrist thought she should, and it just makes me stand up for autism acceptance more than ever.

The same as spinal bifida.

One person with spinal bifida could be "normal" in every way---except that the person has a bit of pigment near his/her tailbone.

Another person with spinal bifida could be wheelchair bound, and have virtually no apparent cognitive ability.

Both have spinal bifida.

Thanks for the reply. I got to admit I did wonder “was it the vaccines I had as a kid?” It’s like a confirmation that I am different and it was annoying. Wish I knew about it earlier then I could actually get help at school. It feels bad. Life insurance is more expensive, car insurance might not pay out in an accident, holiday insurance goes up. I thought I might get help in my career. Yeah, I can get a guaranteed interview if I meet criteria, but only to get turned down without explanation. Companies are supposedly “disability friendly” (complete rubbish they don’t care). It’s just annoying. Sorry for the rant.

Good point. Thanks

Oh, some organisations still diagnose people with Aspergers in the UK. There's been British people on here diagnosed with it recently and I've also been sent lots of information about Aspergers from the people diagnosing me so I think they still use the term for now.

I agree that the Aspergers label is useful. There are still people who think everyone with Autism has a learning difficulty and throwing everyone under the one umbrella doesn't help with that. It might make them think we all have the same understanding of things and abilities too. The term "Autism Level 1" means nothing to people and could actually be misinterpreted as being the most severe type.

I wouldn't be surprised if the Nazi links aren't the real reason they're phasing the term out. That's stupid though if that's the reason as the term's already well established. Anyway lots of modern medical breakthroughs were unfortunately discovered by the nazis, due to their brutal experiments on live people. It's an uncomfortable truth.

Well I advise you to use the word Aspergers if you're more comfortable with it. It means the same thing as Autism Level 1 anyway.

I said that at your age. Now 20 years later, I know better, but I still get frustrated enough with the occasional unkindness to sarcastically state that.

The "natural" world you mention (lack of compassion) would fail. That is my instinct and what I gather from today's parenting self-help books (e.g. "Playful Parenting") and some business books (e.g. "The Cost of Bad Behavior"). But one would ask for evidence, so in a brief search, I find an interviewer who remarks "Most people equate [Darwin's] name with 'survival of the fittest,' it’ll probably be surprising to many that Darwin focused on goodness at all." And also "Darwin was very clear about the weakness of the survival-of-the-fittest argument and the strength of his 'sympathy hypothesis' when he wrote: 'Those communities which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members would flourish best and rear the greatest number of offspring.'"

IMHO humans are social. Variety is key. There will be people who have children and people who don't have children - and yet all people contribute to the community. There will be people who contribute more in one way and people who contribute more in another way. Some will have fewer challenges and some will have many, many more challenges.

When to persist, when to quit. Stereotypically, Aspies are known to persist, but -from experience- it can be really rough but hopefully often enough just as rewarding.

I am glad I persisted through my 20s, I am glad society has compassion and has helped, and although in a bad moment I wonder about the Pro/Cons of my existence, if I listen to others (the kind majority, not the unkind minority), then it's been by far more of a plus. So then, it's my own internal doubt and pain for me to navigate (and reduce).

"Bad Genes" doesn't guarantee "Bad Kids," in reverse of what I said in another thread.

Eugenics is garbage. To say that we Aspergians/autistics are "defective" is garbage.

The evidence for this is right before your face, and can't be refuted. You have good kids of bad parentage---and bad kids of good parentage right in front of you, walking by you all day (at least in the cities).

I feel for you. It's been 20 years since I've been diagnosed, and I'm still struggling to accept it.



I feel the same, although I do have co-morbids that could explain some of my difficulties. But it still means that I am forever hanging on to the hope that all of my difficulties are to do with my co-morbids and not Asperger's and that I was misdiagnosed with Asperger's or something.
Also being diagnosed with Asperger's in childhood makes me feel severe, being so I am female and I read everywhere that Aspie girls have less chance of being recognised as on the spectrum in childhood unless they are low-functioning or severely autistic. But I wasn't either of those, as I had no speech delays or any delays regarding milestones.

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Yep, you described what I think about it in a nutshell. I feel like the term 'autism' is too broad for me, as when I look it up it seems to describe people more severe than me. But since some genius took Asperger's out of the DSMV (whatever it's called - forgive me for mispelling the abbreviation), thanks to some people on the spectrum getting offended by having functioning labels. I don't want to be lumped with autism.

So yeah, it does suck having a diagnosis yet still living a life not quite sure who you are.
I do believe that mild/HF autism is being overdiagnosed these days. Back in my day, Aspies were fairly sociable people but still had at least 3 of the 5 'core symptoms' (routine, special interests, meltdowns, sensory issues and social awkwardness), and then had at least some of the other traits as well (attention to detail, stimming, etc). These days people with social anxiety, shyness or anxiety or depression claim they could be on the spectrum, even though they show none of the other symptoms. So where is the line drawn? Plus other non-autistic disorders can share some of the traits Aspies have. Even depression and anxiety can have a person exhibit a few symptoms similar to autistics but not actually be on the spectrum. But these days, everything seems to be classed as the autistic spectrum, even genuine human/personality traits.

Very good point. I agree it’s stupid if they phase it out because of the Nazi connection.

They're NOT phasing it out because of the Nazi connection.......

Autism, ME & Fibromyalgia and others are just 20th century parking spaces by science for a set neurological disorders they don't understand.

In the future it will just be the constellation of gene numbers missing / duplicated, mis-functioning , their relationship with each other and the environment acting on them. That's it.

In x number of decades all these names will seem as outdated as the old and now offensive 19th century mental illness terms.

It’s not meant to be unkind, it’s how I generally feel. I am not referring to the Autistic community, I am talking about myself and myself only. I haven’t succeeded and I find life difficult.

Thanks, that made me feel a bit better.

By the way, all my political posts are locked. I guess they didn’t like the subject.

Well so they say, but it's a compelling theory. The term Aspergers has been used for many years, why phase it out now? Did they ask the Aspergers community if they disliked the term and wanted rid of it?

Conspiracy theorists always seem to ask more questions than they answer.

Show empirical evidence of this "theory", and you could set the world on fire. Continue to assert the claim without supporting evidence and at best those embers will merely smoulder for years to come.

Clarification: I was trying to say, that in regards to your feelings, that I felt similarly in the past (a lot) and still feel that way now (on occasion). For me, it's when I am dealing with unkindness. I wasn't referring to you, I was referring to other folks in my life (even ones I care for, but when they are grouchy... so hard for me).

It took me 45+ years to see that I have succeeded (and I still find life difficult). I think that is where the diagnosis can help me ---- to see how very much I have succeeded given my particular set of strengths (learning, creativity) and challenges (sensitivity, anxiety and emotional regulation). On the other hand it's confronting to know most people don't have these challenges (so "easy" for them), but then on the other other hand, they don't have my strengths either (so amazing sometimes).

Sorry, Monday morning and my brain is fuzzy. Trying to do too many things at once. Having a kind of low day myself. (Routine changing this week.) Hanging in there...