Do you have family photos on display in your home?
I never bonded with my family either; imagine how the average person would shriek in horror at that! They expect you to have a bond even if your family was abusive. It looks from your other post like both you and your mom are/were on the spectrum? Did either one of you have facial recognition issues?
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I never bonded with my family either; imagine how the average person would shriek in horror at that! They expect you to have a bond even if your family was abusive. It looks from your other post like both you and your mom are/were on the spectrum? Did either one of you have facial recognition issues?
They do? Lucky me for not really knowing any average persons
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I never bonded with my family either; imagine how the average person would shriek in horror at that! They expect you to have a bond even if your family was abusive. It looks from your other post like both you and your mom are/were on the spectrum? Did either one of you have facial recognition issues?
I never heard mother mention face blindness, but she never thought of herself as different at all. She was the kind who could march in a parade and think she was the only one in step. I'd probably score below average, but not too bad. It can take me a few visits to look enough to remember a face, and it is sometimes a case of remembering a face, a story, or a name, when I really need the full set.
There are several on-line tests for face blindness. Here is a link to one. Test to diagnose 'face blindness'
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I was just watching a movie, and consciously noticed that there were several "family photos" on display on the family room set, and it just jumped into my mind that they very often show family photos in TV and movies in the family rooms, living rooms, and even bedrooms… I don't want to say always, but boy it's pretty close. In most people's homes in the real world, they have those photos on display too.
Like many of you, I have poor facial recognition. What I just consciously realized for the first time today is that I don't have the same… PASSION for looking at the faces of my loved ones that so many "normal" people seem to have. Even more than that, I resisted having a photo of my grandmother put in my bedroom years ago as a young person, and a photo of my mother-in-law, a very sweet woman who I loved very much, put on the wall of my family room. Since most of what's unusual about me turns out to be an autistic thing, I thought I'd ask.
Take a moment and think about it seriously. Do you have an actual, active desire to have family photos, or I guess photos of friends if you're not close with your family, around you when you're home? How's your facial recognition?
I recognize faces. Like I know I saw a person before. Can never remember their name, even if I have seen them around for years. They have been over to my house, maybe I have been over to theirs. No matter. Their name escapes me. I find this extremely embarrassing and fear I offend or put off people who think, I don't know what about me. I discovered a rule. If I don't see someone for three months, and if they did not make a strong impression for some unusual reason, then they are out of my memory.
But even when I make extra effort to remember a name and then use it with much pride and satisfaction, I discover it is not as big a deal as I feared it was. People take that as being normal, nothing special, although for me it is a great effort. Once in a while, to my delight, the OTHER person may not remember MY name! The best scenario is when I remember theirs, but they don't remember mine. I feel like I "won."
I only put pictures up because family gave me pictures and it seems like a waste not to. Besides I know that I am supposed to do that, so I just do it. I find really elaborate frames at GoodWill for next to nothing. I don't regret it and have come around to actually liking the photos on the wall and would not want them taken down. Let people know that you came from something, you have roots.
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I do too! If I'm socially pressured into being in a group photo, I get in the back because I'm tall, and then right before they snap the photo I make sure that somebody's head or arm is in front of my face. Do you hate seeing yourself in photos, like old family photos when you were a kid? I do!
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I have a few small photos of close family members on a little shelf in my living room. Nearly all my other pictures on the walls are of my cartoons or other cartoons.
My mother told me just a couple of weeks ago that she is thinking of putting up photos of our family on the walls. She was never into that kind of thing before. My grandmother (on my father's side), however, had many family photos in her own house. Almost every inch of the wall in her own living room, it was amazing.
One photo I have on display is of my brother and I really like it, because in the picture he's actually smiling because I made him laugh. He has rarely smiled for photos. Mom says it's because he's shy.
Do you like images of really attractive people, such as models or actors, or just no human faces at all? I like to look at hotties to a certain extent, but not enough to make an effort to set that up.
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In a rational world, those who act in rational ways would be considered normal, and those who act in irrational ways that they somehow decided were "right" would be the freaks.
I have many pictures of my ancestors because I collect antique frames. I display black and white or sepia miniatures of my relatives, going back to my great-grandparents and their siblings. I don't display any colour photos which are just faces, and to be honest I don't recognise anyone by their faces in the photos. I had to rely on what was written on the back of the photos, or by asking my parents and grandparents. I didn't even recognise my grandparents in their wedding portrait from the 1930s.
I have very profound faceblindness. My photos are more about an obsession with ancestry than a desire to see or recognise anyone's face.
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I don't have relationships to my family members, so no. But I am not a person who enjoys looking at photos anyway.
My ex-boyfriend had about 20 pictures of his nieces and parents on the fridge. I don't believe he would have even noticed if some pictures were suddenly missing, so the individual pictures didn't add much value, and I didn't understand the point in having them all there. They can also be inconvenient when you wipe the outside surface of the fridge and you have to take them all down first. The sight of clutter plus the (albeit small) inconvenience when cleaning would deter me personally from putting up that many pictures (or any photo at all)... But he must experience joy from the photos, even though he sees his family almost every day and I think that alone would make the pictures superfluous.
Years ago, when my cousin (my mother's niece) had a baby and my mother received photos of the baby, she displayed a photo in the living room. My mother was not particularly close to her niece, so I did not really understand the point in displaying the picture of some baby?
I prefer not to have much unnecessary clutter in my living space. When there is decoration it should be pretty, but for me humans are not especially pretty to look at.
I've occasionally toyed with the idea but only ever bothered with it once, that was a picture of a girlfriend who lived a long way away. Even then I can't say it did me any good, I guess I only put it there because she sent me the picture and on a whim I put it on top of the TV. I've never been one to get much pleasure from looking at people. A long time ago I nearly put a photo of my son and my (then) girlfriend's kids on my desk at work. I felt it was artistically quite a snazzy picture and I guess I wanted to show off my kids and my photographic skills and sense of taste.
Most people's family photos don't look all that great to me, they seem content with amateurish ones or paid-for studio pictures that use stereotyped production values with very little of what I'd call original artistic merit. And I get sick of the schmooze I hear about what lovely-looking families everybody's supposed to have, when most of them don't look all that great if we're honest about it.
One day I hope to put up some good pictures in my home, and they'll include some of family and perhaps friends, but it's one of those luxury tasks that might never get done. I'm a severely practical person and there always seem to be more pressing matters to attend to. Frankly decorations soon become invisible to me once they've been there for more than a few days, and I don't expect I'll ever get the free time to keep swapping them out.
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