Can you pass for NT? (with / without co-occurring ADHD)

Post Reply New Topic

I haven't been diagnosed with ADHD, but in school I was very inattentive, and occasionally got called "hyper" by other kids, so probably if I'd grown up in current times I would have. I can pass for NT for brief periods if I'm really focused on it (such as during job interviews), but other than that people always seem to figure out pretty quickly that something is wrong with me.

I think I could have passed for normal when I was in 20's and 30's... now I really don't think so at all and it is more draining than ever to even try in my 50's.

I'm diagnosed with autism but not ADHD (even when I think I have ADHD)
I can pass as an NT.
I apply jobs without mentioning my autism and most employers don't find out.

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, but that was before I was diagnosed with Aspergers. My parents didnt tell me I had Aspergers, so I thought I had ADHD for years. The person who diagnosed me with Aspergers said I didnt actually, it was just part of having Aspergers. Most people still think Im ADHD when they meet me- including the large majority of my friends and even teachers in school. (I apologized for fidgeting once and my teaching said she was used to it bc her young son had adhd)
So....Im not really sure if I have ADHD or not.

I def pass as an NT most of the time (literally noone knows and the ones that do dont believe me). HOWEVER, I also cant help but look weird/odd. And I sorta put people off that way.

I'm confused by this because it seems to be contradictory.

Mona's comments about how "passing for NT" in a 2-3 minute exchange (e.g. paying for groceries, going to the bank, etc) being meaningless in this context has prompted me to rethink the perception of myself and whether or not I can "pass as NT".

I've seen various people on Youtube over the past year that have made comments to the effect that they can pass as NT and they seem quite obviously ND to me.

I have to wonder how many high functioning autistics think they're blending in seamlessly or passably so as NT but they actually are not.

Especially when you consider those of us on the spectrum tend to be lacking self-awareness. Basically, many of us are likely to over-estimate how well we pass. It might be better to survey friends/other close observers 'Aiyyo, is [poster name] a bit off to you?'

ASD with co-morbid ADHD. I voted 'can pass', but it depends on the situation and my state of mind. On a good day when I'm in good shape, I can pass fairly well. Either of a bad day or a bad state of mind (maybe from a bad day yesterday? ) will make me pretty obvious. A bad day and a bad state of mind may make me pretty much useless outside of work.

Yes, but I will sleep for hours after.

People think Im a little weird, but they dont jump to the conclusion of ASD. Just a general sorta-odd teenager. But I never stood out in school or was known for being weird in the way some kids are. People who spent a lot of time with me think Im a little quirky, but random classmates, teachers, and people I meet arent going to know Im any different. Trust me, considering how the treat the kids in this school, Id definitely know if they thought I was too weird.
Ive told a few people that I was diagnosed and for the most part they dont believe me and then try to prove why its wrong by looking up the 'symptoms' and saying how I didnt match any of them (that they know of). So I guess they just think Im a little eccentric, but not necessarily "special needs" the way most people tend to think of Autism. Ive taken two psych classes with two different professors who are actual psychologists and both were surprised at how well I covered it. Because even they hadnt noticed a thing off.
My parents have only been asked if I was on the spectrum twice: and I was less than ten years old both times (one of them was a psychiatrist and the other had a nephew on the spectrum and I was much worse as a child)
The only person in my life rn who I think might know is my coach. Shes never said anything but I feel like she kinda has to know. I mean, Ive spent several hours a day practically every week of the year since I was six with her so...

One thing that should be remembered:

Just because you might seem "weird," "odd," "eccentric," etc......doesn't mean that one will, inevitably, seem "autistic."

"NT" means "non-autistic" under most people's conception of the term. One could be pretty "odd," yet still be "NT."

If you come off "a little weird," that is pretty far from coming off as "autistic."

I had this realisation a while ago, especially with people who I interact with regularly, they twig that there is something different about me.

I feel that most people do not have much of a conception of the "new autism," especially "high-functioning" autism. Their view of autism is that Rain Man is an exceedingly "high-functioning" autistic person.

Many believe autistic people can't speak, rock in corners, are constantly spinning objects, and make weird noises.

This notion is slowly changing, as people gain more awareness. But the above is the prevailing view, it seems to me.

If you are able to speak, and can socialize minimally, it is rare that people will see you as "autistic."

I think people in this thread don't all draw the line of what passing for NT is at the same point. If passing for NT means that no one - except maybe your own parents and the psychologists who diagnosed you - arrives at the conclusion that you have autism then I pass for NT too. From what I've seen you write in other threads it'd not surprise me if you actually pass for NT in the sense that you manage your symptoms well enough that they don't have a mayor impact on your social interactions. Going by whether or not people can figure out you have ASD sets the bar a lot lower than that and doing halfway well socially is not required for people to be unable to figure out you have autism. All that is required is not being the most stereotypical representation of ASD.


Yes, that sounds like passing for NT in a less narrow sense as well.


I've not told many people about my diagnosis, but the one time I did the reaction was similar. I don't think I'm hiding that there's something 'wrong' with me very well at all. But that isn't needed for people not to guess ASD. Not being special needs and being able to reply to what other people say in a halfway proper way is sufficient to not be seen as autistic. However, not being seen as autistic doesn't mean it has no impact on ones life.
It's not a surprise that psychologists didn't pick up on it either. Most aren't experts in autism. I've interacted with psychologists who couldn't figure out I'm autistic as well. One of my aunts has studied something that involves a lot of psychology and she didn't believe me when I told her I was autistic. I think it's obvious that there's something 'wrong' with me. It just apparently isn't obvious that it is autism.

Again, it doesn't surprise me if you pass for NT in a less narrow sense as well. I'm just saying that others not being able to figure out you're autistic is true for a lot more autistic people than actually passing well.

What I meant by passing for NT is seeming like a "normal" (not "weird") person (in terms of things like body language, facial expressions, voice, mannerisms, conversational habits, etc.). I wouldn't expect it to occur to the average person to think "autistic" rather than just "weird" or perhaps "geeky."

^^^That's true.

I think I come across as a little odd to people, but no one has ever said anything like " You're so autistic " .