Why do people shame someone who is a virgin ?

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Out of interest why no tats?

There are certain things a person is traditionally supposed to achieve by a certain age such as:

Losing their virginity.

Learning to drive.

Getting a job.

Having their own car.

Starting college.

Moving out on their own.

Getting married.

Becoming a parent.

Last edited by EzraS on 10 Oct 2019, 4:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Losing one's virginity should be much lower in importance.

One benefits, definitely, by:

Getting a job.

Learning to drive.

Moving out on their own.

Starting college.

Getting a car (especially in areas where there's no public transportation).


I feel those should be more prioritized than:

Losing one's virginity

Getting married.


I got a job and moved out of my mother's house at about the "normal" age. 18 and 20 years of age, respectively. It's somewhat more difficult to either get a job or move out of one's parent's house than it was in the 1970s and 1980s. There isn't much stigma attached, these days, to people in their 20's remaining in their parents' homes. Even people in their late 20s.

Then there are those in the 30s who have had hard times, and go back home to live with their parents temporarily. This is happening more and more often.

I started college at age 36. I learned to drive at age 37. I got my own car at age 51.

I lost my virginity at 17.

I got married at 34.


And guess what: It really doesn't matter how old you are when you attain things---as long as you work towards attaining things.

I think the importance of being sexually active is something that goes back a long ways when procreation was much more essential than it is now.

A downright primordial thing since going out on their own finding a mate and procreating is something most mammals do to out of instinct to continue the chain of life.

When I lost my virginity, I really did ask myself: What was all the fuss about?

It didn't transform me into someone different. I didn't make me more mature. All it did.....was sort of make me sad....because the girl didn't like me as much as I liked her.

I feel like people in high school and college should concentrate more on their studies, and less on "losing their virginity."

You scored! Way to go dog! You became a man that day! High five!

Not really......in all seriousness.

Funny how there are double standards for women.

I thought Virtue Signaling meant shaming people for having no morals?

The person who virtue signals is sending a message to as many people as possible saying look how virtuous I am.

Virgin shaming at least as far as hetero men are concerned it comes from the belief that men that are a still virgin are not fully a man, a failure because they could not do what is perceived to be the most basic function of mother nature that 99 percent of their peers can. Their "failure" is thought to be caused by a severe character flaw(s) making them a deserving target

If you don't mind me answering I had a similar policy. There are a number of reasons:

1) In my opinion, they are U-G-L-Y.
2) They are permanent and I am someone who second guesses literally everything.
3) They reduce employability in many fields at a time it is hard to find a stable job.
4) They are insanely expensive to remove.
5) Rather than being a sign of individuality it is a sign of someone following the crowd.
Controversial opinion here, but I find it ironic how it I took out a washable marker and drew artwork on myself people would think I was crazy yet putting a permanent drawing under your skin is considered normal.

I had a similar policy with exotic piercings (I wouldn't date one woman who looked like a great catch because I couldn't ignore her ridiculous eyebrow ring) but at least they can be removed and will eventually close over. Having said all that, I could certainly accept a small ankle tattoo a lot more than a giant one on the neck or face.

As for the topic at hand, I was almost 30 and in hindsight it really wasn't that big of a deal: sure it was enjoyable but the risk of STDs, pregnancy, etc was also there. I honestly can't see how anyone could shame someone for being a virgin anyway as there is absolutely no way to know.

There is no way to know for sure but in hetero male discussions about females/sex people can often tell if one is inexperienced and faking knowledge to try and hide ones virginity.

I don’t like tattoos because it constitutes a breaking of the skin.

Call me a nerd. I don’t care lol

If my lover were a virgin, I would just have to make adjustments.

There’s way too much emphasis on people’s “virgin status.”

You have sex when you want to have sex.

I think tattoos don't matter so much now in terms of getting a job, I see more people with them and ear gauges too.

This shame lead me to loose mine to a random guy when I was depressed... Just made me more depressed, I wouldn't recommend that.

My husband has loads of tattoos
1) In my opinion they look great!
2) They're permanent so show ability to commit to what he wants.
3) He's had a stable job for years.
4) You don't need to remove them.
5) It is possible to want tattoos for reasons other than trying to be individual, and if it wasn't, what's so bad with following the crowd anyway? Other than the fact that following the crowd might end up making you feel the need to shame virgins to help you fit in with the "cool kids".