How "obvious" can Autism be?

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From what I’ve figured out, you can tell when someone has a severe enough disability just by looking at them. That is not the case for a lot of people with aspergers. I am in the latter category so a lot of people will look at me and see a normal guy. And then when my quirks show, people who don’t know enough about autism will think I’m dumb, lazy, etc.

Immediately obvious when assessed for it, recognised before disclosing in autism groups. I'm not diagnosed under DSM ASD Levels. It be roughly Level 2 Support if I was. ICD Diagnosed Tourette's-Asperger's, Asperger's described as Severe under the Adult Asperger Assessment some 6-7 years back I think... I'm in Adult Social Services from the Local Authority in some way with a full Care Profile.

I was diagnosed at 19 after a second visit to a psychologist. Apparently to him it was patently obvious that I was what he called "high-functioning autistic" and when he explained it to me my whole life fell into place and made sense. My mom & dad were surprised and kind of unbelieving, but then they read some of the papers he gave me and Dad thinks that I might have inherited some autism from him.

It's a family tradition, I guess.

I will have a review annually re the Care act. Prior to coming to here that wasn't the case , although it should have been .

So I mentioned it on Facebook to see how my family/friends would react...

I had a cousin, who has an autistic daughter, link to the WebMD article on Asperger's and tell me based on her own observation in her mind she was very sorry (she actually apologized) but I had it and I needed to read up on it.

An old school friend said despite that I was still one of the smartest people at our high school... Okay thanks, I'll take that one!

I am surprised that more people haven't asked me if I am autistic. On the other hand, if someone doesn't think they are, they might be quite insulted. Many years ago my boss made a wisecrack about me being autistic, but never asked me seriously. My aspie daughter's psychologist told her she thinks I am and my daughter told me this. Even though I would think my ASD should be obvious to some people, I don't think I'm very good at noticing the signs in others. A kid asked me if I was Bill Gates at a social event once .

I'm withdrawn and I don't talk much. I stim a lot. That is obvious.

Somehow, everyone on the planet missed spotting that I was a Level 2 for more than forty years. I'd posit that the obviousness may not always be all that plain.

If it helps, a lot of autism is pretty much invisible to people who don't have personal knowledge of it. And that's very, very few people, even in recent years.

Sure, extreme autism - where someone can't speak, or keeps banging their head on a wall or screaming from overload - is somewhat obvious, but the vast majority of the time people are either completely oblivious or just think "hmm, bit of an odd person, oh well, that's life I guess" and instantly forget about it.

It's always far more obvious from inside because you have to live with it every day and you notice every little thing about it. Even then, people can go their entire lives without realizing they're autistic or even non-NT at all.

On the flip side, the small number of people who have a lot of personal experience with autism might be able to spot it much more easily in other people. There's a moderate level of recognition between people who have it themselves, and sometimes with specialist medical professionals (although not most of them). In my own personal experience, there are a lot of tiny tells and indicators, ranging from haircuts to clothing to other aspects of personal appearance to body language to vocabulary to how they interact with people in a room. None are instant red flags, but put enough of them together and there's a pretty good chance I'll be right about a person being autistic.

If I am on the spectrum (Which I have met a member from this site who believes I am) I am able to hide any traits well. Only those who knew what to look for would notice the odd thing.
I can hide stimming in very subtle ways. I can hide any other signs by masking over the top so everyone seens the mask and not the trait. It is only when I end up in a mess so masking is harder to maintain is when things become more noticeable, and by that time I am in a bit of a mess anyway... And when I am in such a mess is when I could do with help. Otherwize, I am a totally functioning person who comes across as different and one of a kind, but not autistic. (I can't mask being different that well as I just don't fit the NT box! I can hide enough that if there was ever some sort of autistic manhunt I would not be discovered, but I have never been a Mr Average!

I am of two minds. On one hand, I am thinking "Yeah, it is obvious."

On the other hand, I think autism isn't real. That this all has been a massive misunderstanding. You look at some autistic people and think "How could anything be wrong with him?! He is the most normal person ever! How could there be anything wrong with me?!"

It's just everyone else who is weird."

Yeah, exactly!

I am not an alien from Mars! They are all aliens from Mars. I am one of the last earthlings left. My friend, too.

From my sister, in letter she provided for my assessment.

I think it actually started becoming noticeable that I was the 'odd kid' when I went to prep school when I was 8. The more socially complex life became the more it became obvious I was not 'normal' .

I think she meant "odd" meaning "unusual", not ODD meaning "Oppositional Defiance Disorder".

Yes, I meant unusual.