Questioning "Level"

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Levels are just NTs trying to put us in boxes. Levels and categories are also used to determine funding of services. If you present well, you'll get fewer services, even though inside we are torn apart and exhausted. Also if you have high verbal skills you'll be rated higher because people think verbal skills = high IQ and high ability.

Few NTs can understand the enormous impacts of our inner lives in attempting to cope with the NT world.

I'm better when it comes to finances than anything else, but how much I spend can vary quite a lot from month to month. I'm not in debt though . The sh*t would hit the fan belt for me if there was a change to how things had to be done financially . That would throw me off track .

I agree

That is so very true . My verbal skills are way above average, but my ability to cope with day to day practical matters is much lower .

This is something I wrote on Facebook in October .

I am struggling with this right now. My ASD report said I am not distressed and that I reported my impulses are in control with little difficulty. OMG, no!! !! !! !! I get quiet and smile when topics of distress are near. I did a lot of that during my interviews. I AM IN DISTRESS. And my impulses are in "control" b/c instead of head butting the wall ... hard, I am slamming my hand on the table … repeatedly; instead of bursting into tears or raging at a work meeting, I leave the room (for what others would call minor offenses or misunderstandings; and other examples, Every Day, sometimes many times a day). When I took the darn questionnaire in a quiet room in the morning (my husband had taken care of the kids), everything seemed great. I was happy. Catch me any other day, after caring for my young children, after work, after attempting to shop and I'm a mess. Let's say it's learned helplessness, that I have the capabilities and "simply" don't know how to help myself --- fine so be it --- I need HELP to help myself! I am really good at hiding and projecting confidence, but when those two things don't help or no longer sustainable, I'm near COMPLETELY stuck. As long as the routine and supportive environment are intact, I am Level 0 - any change, any change... and your guess is as good as mine as to what Level I hit depending on stressors (I may not even be aware of).

This ^^ is the classic curse of "high functioning" Autism. That is why it is so important for people to become educated on what HFA really is and redefine functioning levels and functioning criteria.

Aspies are notoriously poor self-assessors, though. I always thought that I was socially competent until I started college. Prior to that, my social exposure was very limited - mostly to family. It turns out that my competence was only an illusion based on the very limited demands that were placed on me at the time. Now, when I have to interact in a variety of contexts with unfamiliar people, my disability is abundantly clear. I've acquired a reputation among my peers as being socially strange and rather stupid. I'm clearly autistic in this environment.

Unless you are living an entirely typical lifestyle - socializing at school/work, running errands independently, etc - without your traits becoming apparent, you're probably just compensating for your weaknesses by limiting the demands you place upon yourself. It's a fortunate situation to be in, having that support system in place, but in such cases your performance is not a good indicator of your actual ability.

Those popular documentaries tend to sensationalize, generalize, and simplify their subjects ruthlessly, by the way. I wouldn't take them seriously.

Welcome to WP Pendant.

I don't know if I agree with you on your first statement. I have never met an aspie who is has poor self assessment.

I guess it depends what is meant by that. I would say I'm not good at all at knowing how I'm doing. I can work it out in retrospect, but not at the time.

Also I'm not good at understanding my own limits, nor what I need, nor what's unhelpful. Again, I can identify it in retrospect.

Finally I'm not good at having an accurate idea of how others view me. I often think they think negatively of me when they don't, or don't realise when they are acting negatively towards me.

I relate.

I am confused, even in retrospect. I get feedback: at work six people say "you are great, don't let anyone say differently", two people say "you are lacking in so many areas". Uh... uh... so I ask the latter and take action and then there's more "lacking" and I take action and then there is more "lacking" and then I figure I'm being played or these people have fixed perspectives that I can never meet so I should disregard it... but I am compelled to consider all input... but what am I supposed to do about that negative input?


I ask for help and people say "you're fine; you're great; you got this". So I figure it's my learned helplessness and I need to suck it up, figure it out. And I'm stuck. I remember at age 8 being amazed that my sister could ask for what she wanted (an ice cream) and get it.


Right there with you. My friend's spouse scowled and looked away after I shared something. I take it she was disgusted by what I said. In what way? Why? Am I supposed to do anything about that? I don't like that my friend's spouse is disgusted by me. That makes ANOTHER one. I think an NT would blow it off? Some people just won't like you. But so many don't like me.

At work, you should try to figure out what you really good at that is useful to the company. For instance, I can still do all sorts of math despite being out of school for decades. And this doesn't come up all that often, so being the "expert" isn't much of a burden.

From what I can see levels as they are written in the DSM are kinda meaningless.

A full psychoeducational assessment is more meaningful.

It might be different in the USA , but in the UK it can be very hard to get such an assessment . I've gone 62 years with a probable learning difficulty going undiagnosed.