Being told 'I need to learn how to handle stress'

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I'm always happy to look for new ways to deal with my stress.

Whats frustrating is that it seems like society is intolerant to, among other things, those of us who can't handle the expected levels of stress and I feel like I am just told 'find a way to make it happen' and left to struggle with it on my own.

How I cope and handle stress, regardless of intensity is currently... Inconsistent.

Either I'd easily to snap at any hint of stress while I struggle to control myself, remain firm and mostly in control for extended period of time, or something else entirely; I won't know until the deed is done.


My stressors fluctuates -- so does my anti-stressors.
What would work at the moment may not work in the next hour/day/week/place/situation/etc. Even within the same timespan/circumstances/etc. So do the source of stress in general.

How does one manage stress without an apparent pattern??
Or the one with serious micro-like sensitivity, that there's basically countless combinations of factors and outcomes, to the point of past experiences are null, in the same damn body.


Perhaps the best way I'd go is go 'meta' while 'winging it'.

To maintain the former, I had to be mindful and not drift off in some form of presumed autopilot nor tense myself into hypervigilance.
The latter is just a me thing -- no strategy plans or whatsoever because there's no consistent scenario in the first place, so I simply cannot give away advice on how I do it except pieces and bits of it.

I have found that I handle change, etc. much better if I'm well rested. For a while, I was in a bad feedback loop of worrying about changes instead of sleeping enough to be able to think up creative responses. Relaxing is something you can't get to by trying harder. I eventually needed a reset, not just by a vacation, with the same problems waiting at the end, but by moving across country. I'd taken on too many obligations, and didn't know I was over my personal limits.

I've managing stress by being smarter and kinder to myself rather that just trying harder.

If I can't sleep, it helps if I do a relaxing activity instead. Like putting together a jigsaw puzzle.

I don't think drugs are effective if there is a mismatch between you and the world around you.
Instead, maybe you need to change the world around you.

I can not handle stress because I have Aspergers! OCD, anxiety and depression and adding more stress only makes my issues worse.

"“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” " - George Bernard Shaw

Or, were you thinking about moving within this world? I've been trying to make the world a saner place, and I don't have much influence. I don't know if I could handle city life again.

What kind of music do you use? That's important. I divide music into the kind that really gets you moving--like the Radzetsky March from the Damnation of Faust--and music that simply provides a nice background like some concert band waltzes or Jascha Heifetz' violin recordings.

Any genres you tend to go for? What works.

It is not that you need to learn how to handle or manage stress, it is that you need to learn how to vent stress in a socially acceptable manner. Stress is actually chemical in nature and is stored in the body unless you successfully learn techniques to vent this physical stress energy.

Meditation, listening to music, drugs is not venting stress energy.