who here finds that children treat them with disdain?

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I remember one time I was on a bus and a woman got on with a child that looked about 4 or 5 years old. But it just so happened that I was sitting in the kid's favourite seat, because it started tantruming as soon as they got on, and was pointing to the seat I was in and crying to it's mother, "I wanna sit there! I wanna sit there!" I felt in an awkward position because I didn't want to give up my seat so that a spoilt brat can get it's way, as children need to learn the "first come first serve" rule. I might have given up my seat if the bus wasn't full, but there was no available seats left only at the front where the kid was sitting with it's mother, and also I felt shy of pushing myself out of my seat in front of everyone because of a whiny kid. It would have made the situation much better if the mother had apologized to me as they were getting off, like "sorry about my son, he's being a bit of a pain today" or something. So I just felt awkward, then I felt bad afterwards and wondered if I should have moved.
Being so I usually am in the wrong place at the wrong time, I have never seen anybody else in this situation, so I wasn't sure what the right thing to do was. It had to happen to me, didn't it?

yeh that is a tough situation, torn between letting the kiddo learn about the meanness of life versus delaying that reckoning with a respite from the facts of life. which is better in the long run?

I didn't mean to imply that! I wouldn't suspect that of you!

I work with children, so I was just thinking about various ways I've observed adults interacting with kids. I've seen teachers be firm, stern, downright yell, and call kids lazy. Pretty much everyday, I see something I really dislike.

I'm positive, upbeat, and praise a lot and often. It's especially effective with younger children and many kids with special needs who probably don't hear praise as often. (I prefer subbing in special needs classrooms.) It's like they think: "Wow! I can actually impress this person. If that impresses her, let me show her what else I can do!"

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 24 Jan 2020, 8:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

^^ Maybe the kid who wanted the bus seat was an aspie who can't handle change in the routine. I might have asked the mother if she wanted to demonstrate how to ask for special consideration.

sorry for my aspie male misconstruing of your positive intent par for my course it seems. i was one of the reject kids that teachers abused. not having much positive reinforcement from any corner, made me develop my powers of imagination, so i got something positive out of the negative.

I can see why you would've thought that. I didn't really think through my post that much.

I think education has improved in that teachers receive more training when it comes to diverse learning styles and needs, and, perhaps most importantly, there are more adults around which tends to keep a teacher's bad behavior somewhat in check.

I still observe issues, though...

i'm glad that at least in the northern states, they don't beat the kids anymore.

I'm not that good with kids.

Even when I was an adult, it was pretty frequent that kids would think I'm a kid, too.

I observed at a nursery school a couple of times. I really wanted to do "odd jobs," like Joe did. I was shy to interact with the little 3 or 4 year olds.

They were still spanking kids when I was in elementary school. I went to a tiny school in a farming community with a population of about 1,000.

Parents had to sign a permission slip at the beginning of the year. My parents didn't sign. They were prospanking but they didn't want someone who they didn't know well to do the honors.

That principal had anger issues. He'd scream at kids until his face got red and the veins bulged out on his neck - like a Dickens' character. I feel sorry for the kids who had to endure what was probably a tough experience.

that principal, i wonder what his childhood was like?

Even Aspie kids need to learn that the world does not revolve around them. That's why I wouldn't want a child on the spectrum, because you might as well wear a sign saying "KID WILL HAVE MELTDOWN IF WANTS ARE NOT MET, SO PLEASE OBEY".

i remember as a little kid meself, i was sitting in a swivel chair at a friend's house, and his pesky little tyke brother insisted on spinning me around until i was barfy dizzy, and when i put my feet down to stop the spinning, he went ape and screamed for his mama to punish me. he prolly grew up to become a GOP politician or a legal shark.

Not all kids on the spectrum (or even most) have meltdowns every time their routine is disrupted.

It's fairly reasonable to try to follow a kid's routine, though. Depending on the kid, it could be more of a "need" than a "want."

Having a meltdown because he or she isn't allowed to have another ice cream sundae is unreasonable (unless that's a norm in the household) and not typical behavior. Being on the Spectrum doesn't necessarily make one a "spoiled brat." (I wouldn't actually give a kid that label. I'm just trying to express a point.)

I've met some wonderful kids who are on the Spectrum. I wish I could work full-time in one of the autism support classrooms I've been in...

Fun, quirky, interesting, intelligent, and keen sense of humor are some adjectives I would apply to many of these children. So much potential, ability, and talent.

I've heard of a guy getting on a bus in Boston used by many regular commuters, and soon finding a 50 ish guy in a suit declaring that that was His seat. The guy quickly moved. You can be a lot more outrageous with good manners and clothes.

This is so interesting. I like it here. On any other forum, you either wouldn't see this question, or you wouldn't see understanding conversation. I've always disliked children. When I actually had my own, I definitely had some "what have I done?" moments. But somehow, my children turned out to be different and awesome. They don't scream at playgrounds or fight with each other. They don't complain too much or try to manipulate us. I had no idea that kids could be nice and helpful. My partner says god gives you only as much as you can handle. I'm not sure about that in general, but it worked with our kids.

I like children a lot. It's more of a matter of being awkward when it comes to telling children what to do if I'm left in charge. But I'd say that when children get past a certain age, they're aware that there's something "weird" about me compared to other adults, and this comes into play.

It's been more of a thing with brattier children though.

There was one little girl years back who was saying things like my voice sounded weird, and kept on calling me mean. Maybe because of something about my tone of voice, but I have trouble being actively and actually "mean" unless I'm pushed very far which is not the case.

That was just one kid though, and while I can be awkward with kids, kids other than this one particular girl don't usually act like this.

I remember one positive case where a kid noticed I was kind of different that I thought was kind of funny. My sister was babysitting, and I was with her and helping her. I would talk about a lot of "whatif" scenarios, and random connections I made.

Then later, one of the kids asked my sister, "Why does your sister like to imagine?" Which I thought was cute.