Can you help me?

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A simple cheap micro array test can rule out Fragile X, make sure it’s done by a legitimate tester though.

Its unlikely you have ID, since if you did you probably wouldn’t be that bothered about it because you would be oblivious to what your not able to comprehend, in the same way if you were mad you wouldn’t know you were mad.

ASD & anxiety can play some crazy mind tricks though, anxiety can have a big temporary effect on IQ that comes & goes every now and then.

What worked for me was making a conscious effort to observe the humans around me: after a while I realised that they all have their own particular unique pattern of limitations, emotional, psychological, neurological, physical, educational etc.*

Have you been reading up on fragile-x in an obsessive manner?
If so: have you considered Medical Student’s Disease as a possible factor?

*My wife put me on to that one inadvertently by talking much of her friends and family ad their various problems & issues.

Yes having ASD, Anxiety & OCD put you at very high risk of contracting Medical Student’s Disease, mainly caught from obsessively reading from medical books and literature.

Cured by taking a test, seeing a specialist or just understanding the odds of it being part of pre existing anxiety, usually seen before in oneself many times.

Hi Spede!

I never heard of Fragile X before so I did a little reading, and then I read a few of your previous posts to try to understand your situation better. Fnord was right - please see a professional! A doctor to arrange a genetic test so you have proof one way or the other. And a trained licensed mental health professional to help you deal with your feelings.

Every autistic person on this site has a learning disability, and both strengths and weaknesses. I saw that you have your own apartment etc so you must function fairly well. We are often influenced by what others say and if it's negative (bullying, abuse, impatience) it can definitely impair us either short or long term. And our anxieties often get the better of us. Flip side is that with counselling, therapy, positive feedback, or having a good friend/someone to talk to, our situations can and will improve. There are some very smart people on WP and we all have some level of difficulty communicating. I personally only finished grade 10 but do very well on IQ tests. I practically fail EQ tests though (scored 35). But I own my home, raised a family, worked most of my life, am self-sufficient.

I'm going to present you with another theory, because you previously said you weren't autistic. You must have seen someone already to make that statement. Do you know what masking is?
I always had issues but was able to do most things fairly well because I masked. Because I masked other people's negativity was deflected and it gave me more time (many years) to modify my behaviour and get my anxieties under control. I assume it's similar to ABA or occupational therapy, except I didn't know about autism so I taught myself over time, learning from past mistakes. If I went to be diagnosed now I am almost positive they would say I don't have asperger's. So much of what I read makes me believe it's true. And what I've read has really helped me by giving me great life hacks and letting me come to terms with me being broken (that's what I've thought about myself). Does any of this sound familiar? If yes I recommend watching some youtube videos about masking. Sarah Hendrickx specifically talks about masking and looks at autism in a more positive light, Simon Baron-Cohen has some very good information. If you see a negative video stop and find another one you like, or find someone in you age group. Masking theory is fairly new so look at videos from 2018/2019. A really really good book is NeuroTribes - skim over the history part if you like but there is some very very helpful information. I found words that explained what was going on around me, words to all those things I could never understand before.

Even if I/we aren't autistic the life hacks I found are amazing and have made my life easier and can probably help you too. They are specific to autism but are useful to almost anyone. And I learned being different is ok.
And please don't be so hard on yourself! Seek concrete answers, take care of yourself

just trusting my therapist, who I’ve known for 10 years.

Folks who are "intellectually disabled" don't use big words like "intellectual", and "disabled".

What if you were? Why would that be a bad thing? Why would it make you want to end your life?