Have you ever felt suicidal in your life?

Post Reply New Topic

People who are suicidal want to kill themselves or are in a mental state in which it is likely that they will try to do so:

Yes. I have have in the past. Half tried. I don't do pain or suffering and don't do blood or heights, and torture to be in a hospital, so suicide... Uhmmm. Well. I am still here! Hehe.

Half tried in the past by tempting fate a couple of times but each time miracles happened which prevented me from doing it.

It was mainly being in situations I could not change and I did not have a way out of. Was situations I could no longer face.


If God was not real I would not be here today.

Not really an L&D question, I think.
Also, don't forget that WP is a pre-selected group of people with "increased risk of depression and anxiety".

I did, briefly. However, I never attempted anything. It was an intrusive thought that followed me around. Something that I felt a little guilty about because I was aware of all the good in my life and I felt almost selfish for feeling that way. I think that the gnawing thought that the people in my life deserved better than me and the what ifs plagued my mind the most. Predominately, what if they are right? (They're not) What if I really don't make anything of myself? (Gotta at least try) Is messing up just what I do? (No) What if they (the bullies) were right about the fact that I shouldn't be listened to? (They weren't).

These were concerns I kept mostly private since I didn't want to be considered a bother, except for internet forums and in poems I wrote. Creative writing allowed me a space to let out my pent up emotions. I remember one line from an old poem of mine; You look down on me with such distaste, am I really such a waste?

Which is a good indication of the thoughts I was wrestling with at the time. I experienced childhood depression and frequent hopelessness throughout my teenage years and I didn't have a firm sense of identity outside of that. Which made me worry about being bland or never achieving anything and I didn't fully realise just how deep in the depression I was until I started to come out of it. For quite a long time I just thought that's simply how I was.

I didn't like who I was and I was under the impression that I never would, that the internal life / the fantasy I was living would always stay separate from my external. Then I moved to a better place, I unlearned a lot of the toxic lessons I was taught, and started taking steps to become that inner self. However, this wasn't exactly an overnight change and I'm still learning.

I would define suicidal as a lot more than a fleeting thought.
Cambridge Definition of Suicidal


Have I had a fleeting thought on rare occasions? Yes. It has never been close to being serious.
1. The thoughts immediately went away when I thought about the effect it would have on people I care about
2. Also there have been times in my life where the possibility of improvement seemed but slim are better odds then none.

^^^ looks like you're the only one. lucky.

There are a couple of abnormals in every group.
What cha gunna do?

The eternal wrathful Fnord, Destroyer of Worlds.

All the time.

If access to guns was easy, I’d be dead. Thankfully killing yourself is rather hard and planning is too stressful. Also I suppose until I know at least 5 or more people would notice, I will wait.

Feeling suicidal has been a daily normal for me since I was ten years old so that's 43 years.

^I'm glad you're here with us on WP and that you help others feel better. Thanks!