Worst thing about autism?

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Conversational fails, overwhelm, lonlyness.

I think I have two things that pretty much tie. One, hypersensitivity, particularly with noise, crowds, and also with changing from dry to wet or wet to dry (which makes showering/bathing a real problem). Two, my particular severity level, and the fact that my functioning ability varies (I guess that's technically two and three). The former means I'm too disabled by it to do without help but not disabled enough to actually get it. The latter means people see me at my best and assume I'm always capable of that and that if I don't act like it, it's only because I'm not trying hard enough, I don't care, or I just don't want to do things. That's probably a large part of where my self-esteem issues come from, because I grew up being told my best (not that people actually believed it was my best) was not good enough.

The worst part of autism for me is that even after I have explained in great detail what autism really is, I still get responses like, "So ... just how ret*d are autistic people, anyway?"

... no ... no ... no ... no ... no ...

Communication.

Executive Dysfunctioning

Was a burden on my parents because of my symptoms and behaviours, from the ages of about 4 to 24, and I said and did some things that I wish I could take back

Being different or an odd person, because no matter how good I mask and how good my social skills are, NT women can sense something off about me and they back away, which hurts me a lot

Having other women stare at me in the street when I know I don't do anything abnormal to attract any negative attention

Remembering my teen years as lonely, socially isolating and depressing times

Special interests: got me into trouble before, which was embarrassing and cost me a lot of friends

Needing routine: used to have outbursts if routine was disrupted, and outbursts aren't good, especially for other people around you (I took it out on the people I love the most)

Sensory issues: makes me hate crowds and noisy kids, to the point where it stirs up anger and hatred inside me, which makes me feel like I'm a bad person for wanting to whack a toddler for screaming near me, or whacking the parents for not controlling their kid

Having to pay £9 a month to keep my sanity

Having odd thoughts, like having such high empathy for objects, that throwing objects away or destroying them causes me great anxiety and sometimes tearfulness. Even cutting an apple up makes me anxious, because I imagine it as a person or an animal, and I get so anxious. This probably comes from having an overactive imagination

Getting extremely offended when certain words are said to me - words that don't typically offend other people

Socializing.

Socializing when it is all smalltalk so that it is as if one is not there and yet one has to sit or stand politely, and if one tries to talk about something interesting instead they don't like it... So one is left standing there or sitting there and gets more and more frustrated!... So one tries to use distraction techniques and either looks at something elsewhere, or zones out into the depths of ones mind and they don't like that either!

Yet I have to zone out. If I don't I will start to tell them off for talking nonsence as it is frustrating but I am supposed to be polite and well behaved so I would be looked down on if I did...
Haha! At least they would have something proper to talk about if I did! Hahaha! But there again... If they dis they would most likely talk about it to someone who does not know me and that person could be like me and get frustrated and they would have another person to talk about... Ooh. I wonder if that is how it would work? I want to try it now out of curiosity! But how would I know who the other person like me is? Uhmm. I would have to put some sort of listening bug on the person who does the smalltalk!

Ok. Here to "Operation Smalltalk" and all who sail in her! (Or whatever we are supposed to say!)

The worst thing for me is easily its adverse effect on my ability to get a romantic relationship.