Should I be ashamed for still living at home ?

Post Reply New Topic

No, there is absolutely no shame at all.

Until we find ourselves proper employment, my NT sister and I will continue to be stuck with our mom.

I am 30 and my NT sister is 33.

"can," "should" and "will" are all three different things.

some emotions are nature, involuntary, or subconscious.

society has certain pressures and tabboos.

I was 32 when I moved out. I'm thankful for the extra years I had with my parents. Instead of comparing yourself to NTs, maybe you can think about the time that you have to bond with your parents.

Coach: "Hopkins! What do you think you were doing out there? You never touched the ball and we lost the game!"
Hopkins: "I KNOW, coach, I know! I was watching the scoreboard the whole time!"

There is no shame in living with your parents. I still do at 30. You safe a small fortune that can go towards your future.

Just tell people that your parents live with you, instead of you live with them. It may not sound like much difference but it can be.

NT, here...American society has a problem...We supervise kids very closely, catering to them up until they are of legal age...(I have been part of this problem, because i have been part of the school system that fosters it)...

Sadly, once they turn 18, overnight, we withdraw our support, and we pressure them to leave the nest...Overnight, we, as society, expect them to get their driver's license, get a job AND go to college, leave the nest, rent their own place AND save to buy a house...And then, finally, we give them our blessing or approval for marriage...EXPECTATIONS, EXPECTATIONS, EXPECTATIONS...! !!...But we never prepare them to be on their own overnight...

Fortunately for me, been of Mexican origin, it is inconceivable for a single lady to leave the nest regardless of age...And i say, fortunately, because i did not have such a pressure from my parents...My pressure came from my parents NOT having a nest...! !!...My parents both worked in agriculture; yet they could only afford living in a trailer park...Back then, it was like living in the projects only on wheels... ...So, motivated by my parent's struggles, i got my driver's license immediately upon high school graduation...And i met all of those mile stones at a young age...In fact, i lived completely on my own (no room-mates) when i had to transfer from my local community college to pursue a higher education in the big city...And i loved it!! !...Two years near the ocean with perfect climate year-round...I worked 32 hours per week in the legal profession, and i attended the university at night and on Saturdays...It was hard, but totally worthwhile...

However, when the time came to invest in a property, i decided to invest jointly with my father...He advanced $10,000...I advanced $10,000...I covered the real estate buyer's costs, around $3,500...And i paid 7 of a 10 year contract...My only regret been that acquaintances would often ask me, "Do you still live with your parents?"...I hated it when that would happen, and i would immediately clarify as Joe 90 suggests "They live with me"...

Now, i find myself in a relatively new first marriage with the financial hardships of this pandemic...And i am beyond grateful that i made a good investment when i enjoyed favorable circumstances...For now, my husband and i are both benefiting from this living arrangement...At least until we purchase our own property...To that end, we have been saving...

Keep in mind that in many cultures, it was customary for various generations to live together under the same roof...So, no, we should not allow modern day society dictate if and when is a good idea to leave the nest...Just consider yourself blessed that your parents have a nest where you are welcome to stay for 100+ years...(This is what Mom used to tell me before i married)...

You're very lucky to have a nice mom you get along with. Not everyone has that option. I expect my first son to move out sometime, but I'm probably stuck with my second son. Things are expensive here and I know a lot of young people who can not afford to live on their own. My brother lives in an apartment owned by my parents. That's how he can manage to live on his own with the disability cheque. I don't begrudge him for that perk. If he has to live with my parents he might have killed himself by now.

Hi @chris1989
Shame doesn't do anyone any good.
I moved out at 25 and did not get on with my parents.
My parents treated me like a kid and when I did move out I have had problems with the places I lived in which I dint cope with well.
Autistic people vary with their capabilities and some live happily with assistance and they have no need to feel ashamed, it depends on how highly you can function.
I met an autistic lady in a care home once who was older than me and she seemed ok, calm, she was classic autistic and had a sensory room.

I'm going to depend on my parents all my life.

I'm going to move out in the next couple years. I'm 32.

I acknowledge this is privilege.

Tradition here typically says the eldest tends the elderly parents. So...

Whether or not I can or cannot move out, I have duty to fulfill that involves me supporting my parents.

Then the fact that whether or not I need support, I cannot simply move out without gambling my fate.
Why? Economy.

And then there's just something wrong with the current system.
It's no wonder why NTs do protest in form of change, or in silence break themselves maintaining it until they're in need of support themselves.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Why do you compare yourself to other people? You'll never be happy if you do that.

after getting out of the army, i lived with my folks until they passed away 2 decades later. i was their caretaker in the later years.