17 Jan 2021, 10:29 pm
I do wonder what could have happened if I were old enough for TheraDate and it existed in my city at the time.
23 Jan 2021, 3:15 am
I get it. You had a good experience with therapy, because you were good at it from the get-go. You knew how to get the therapist to help you. But in order to make that happen, you have to know now to navigate therapy in the first place. Which means telling the therapist the right things at the right time in the right tone of voice in the right context. That's a lot to memorize, even for us aspies. Somehow, you were able to do everything correctly; props to you for that. And your therapist responded in kind and helped you, thus doing everything right too. But for the rest of us, extra hints for navigating therapy can be a godsend.
I disagree with "therapist didn't help me get a girlfriend". Back in 2002, one psychologist in New York actually tried that!
He operated a service called TheraDate, where he worked as a matchmaker, and set up therapy patients on dates with each other, based on their patient chart similarities. (Given the time period, it was for straight people only.) His intentions were good and ingenious. He believed that a real romantic relationship was gonna be more beneficial for patients than repetitive sessions of talking about feelings in a sterile office.Sadly, the service folded very quickly. Using a matchmaking service carried a heavy stigma back then. Ethical issues arose as well, due to the possible "dual relationship" of a therapist also working with a matchmaker. So the demand never reached critical mass. It'd be really interesting how TheraDate 2.0 can pan out today.
This helps explain your perspective a bit better to me.
I have a similar feeling about small talk. Things like you have to begin with, "hello, how are you?" Even though they will lie and say they are fine.
The difference with therapy was that I was completely open and honest. I didn't use any techniques like I do with small talk.
I understand now that you're looking for a similar key. If you say this thing, then you'll get a good reaction.
However, that's not how therapy is meant to work. You're supposed to be honest and a good therapist will encourage you and draw you out if they don't understand what you're saying.
I'll give you an example of how I got something wrong. The therapist wanted me to write how I feel through the day as different things happen. I had been discussing my physical illnesses with her, so just assumed she meant I was to write down how I was physically feeling.
Wrong. She meant write down your emotional feelings. She read my homework and rexplained it to me and I had to do it again.
No tricks. Just open communication.
You think you're being helpful offering therapy conversation hacks. But you're really telling people how to be people pleasers. That's not how therapy works. Like, literally, it won't work if you play games with the therapist and tell them what you think they want to hear.
23 Jan 2021, 3:37 am
23 Jan 2021, 9:55 am
Dear_one
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Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 76
Gender: Male
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Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
23 Jan 2021, 11:26 am
23 Jan 2021, 11:58 am
23 Jan 2021, 12:20 pm
23 Jan 2021, 12:37 pm
I haven't really got involved with any one in terms of political debates on this forum.
I know how the far right work and know that your wasting your time if you think you can talk to these people.
Instead of debating, I perhaps would recommend that you consider writing the following statement or similar
when you experience misinformation / disinformation.
Statement
<I refuse to engage in debate with people who spread misinformation / disinformation>
<I have better things to do with my time than waste it on such morons. I recommend you also do not.
Have a nice day. 
>
23 Jan 2021, 12:43 pm
23 Jan 2021, 12:49 pm
The cancel culture is at it again. 
I used to be able to talk freely on here about having sex with escorts. Now I can't even express negative views on therapy without getting jumped on. What changed? 
You all won! No need to reply. I'm taking the NT-style hint, and leaving this thread. Have a pleasant day, now.
Sweetleaf
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Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,964
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
23 Jan 2021, 1:00 pm
You all won! I'm taking the NT-style hint, and leaving this thread. Have a pleasant day, now.
Criticizing non-helpful advice that could even be damaging, is cancel culture now?
23 Jan 2021, 1:30 pm
I personally am not into cancel culture.
Personally, I find it really frustrating how many countries of the world who run on a party politics infrastructure
use Politically Correctness, Cancelling culture etc. to politically assassinate their opposition.
My post above about simply writing a statement that identifies misinformation when I discover it,
really is aimed at the people who others have mentioned earlier on the thread who are intentionally posting
lies that relate to political events and people involved.
I think that it is counter productive to engage in debate with people who use such strategies such as misinformation to achieve their desired results.
Instead of engaging in debate with them (as these people will never admit they are wrong and will never admit they are lying), I simply recommended that one way to deal with these people are simply to label their actions for what they are, rather than spend all your time and energy trying to convince a person who is lying that they are lying, cause they know their lying, so no matter how much attempts you make to convince them that they are lying, they will never admit to it.
On other matters such as peoples personal opinions on other things in life.
Sure. people all have the right to their opinion, as long as they are not discriminating against any protected party.
Some times people have simply just got to acknowledge that they disagree on this point.
And move on.
Hold hangs, give each other a hug and be happy.
Dear_one
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Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
23 Jan 2021, 2:18 pm
