Are female Aspies Less Likely To Be Textbook Case?

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- Prefer to be alone Yes
- Completely socially clueless Yes
- Too honest, cannot lie Yes -- No filter
- Flaps hands and rocks Other assorted motor stims 24/7, even in my sleep
- Nerdy Yes
- Special interests with trains Mostly boats, but also trains and rollercoasters
- Excellent at maths, science and IT Yes: Maths and Physics
- Unable to understand or express feelings, lack of emotion Very low EQ score for expression, flat affect
- Brilliant at memorizing facts, numbers and train/bus routes and schedules Yes, anything with numbers
- Lack of empathy I have empathy but can't express it
- Undateable Yes, except with one person. It's been a monumental learning curve, though
- Follows rigid routines, has meltdowns if unable to My routines appear lax but can't change much
- Doesn't have a good relationship with NT parents or other NT family members Strained with NT parent

I think a lot of women present differently and are harder to diagnose, so I'd assume yes, female aspies are less likely to be a "textbook case" of autism.

I'm trans (female-to-male) and I have no idea if I match up with either the male or female presentations of autism. I always got along better with autistic males though, so maybe I have more of a "male" presentation.

A list I found of the characteristics of autism in adults:

Not only am I really bad at math, I think I may have dyscalculia.

I do prefer to be alone most of the time.

I don't flap my hands.

I can lie, I'm just not good at it and prefer not to.

I'm not completely socially clueless, I have just spent too many years masking that I actually cared about socializing.

No has ever accused me of being a nerd because the stereotype is that nerds love math and read algebra just for fun.

I have strong special interests: Disney, cartoons, cats, video games, toy collecting, but I have never been into trains or vehicles at all. In fact, I sort of, kind of hate them.

I understand and express emotions, possibly due to one of my favorite shows on TV when I was growing up being Sesame Street, where they were always showing what feelings and emotions look like.

I'm good at memorizing dialogue to movies, books and TV shows, but I'm lucky I still remember my own age let alone anything to do with numbers.

I may have too much empathy, so much it physically hurts.

Undatable? says I *want* to date?

My routines aren't 100% strict.

I don't know what textbook all that stuff about Asperger's came from, but it's not worth the paper it's printed on.

I have a very strong and loving connection with my parents. They have stood up for me when no one else would. They have helped me get through difficult times when everyone else practically left me to DIE. They are the only humans I still have faith and trust in.

- Prefer to be alone Yeah
- Completely socially clueless Kinda
- Too honest, cannot lie I don't have a filter really
- Flaps hands and rocks Yes and I have other stims
- Nerdy I guess? I have been told I have "nerdy" interests.
- Special interests with trains Nope
- Excellent at maths, science and IT I have an interest in science and technology...
- Unable to understand or express feelings, lack of emotion Yes
- Brilliant at memorizing facts, numbers and train/bus routes and schedules I am good at this and enjoy collecting information like this
- Lack of empathy I have a lot of empathy...
- Undateable So far it seems like it lol
- Follows rigid routines, has meltdowns if unable to I have relatively rigid routines, and have shutdowns and sometimes meltdowns over changes in my routines
- Doesn't have a good relationship with NT parents or other NT family members Yes, most of my NT family members don't like being around me

As someone who has spent a great deal of time learning about ASD, I can say that the "textbook case" of ASD is likely about as common as the NT equivalent, which is to say that there's probably no such thing as a case of someone fitting absolutely every "average" parameter.

That said, for one of my classes I do recall seeing a vid that outlines one big reason why female cases of ASD are different from what is perceived as the "norm", and that is that much of the early literature was based on studies where only male subjects were observed. Moreover, it may have been difficult to even find female cases of ASD to study, as they were likely even more underdiagnosed than they are nowadays. In any case, the result is that it took a long time before much of the literature even considered how gender would affect one's experience with ASD.

Of course, I'm probably not 100% qualified to weigh in on the female experience of anything. Maybe my friend or gf would be a much better source on the actual experience of female aspies that cannot be gleaned from textbooks and informative YouTube.

- Prefer to be alone Most of the time, I do after a stressful day.
- Completely socially clueless Not completely. I have my challenges but I'm not completely clueless
- Too honest, cannot lie Just like a typical German
- Flaps hands and rocks No
- Nerdy I come across as being more slow than anything else
- Special interests with trains Special interest with music and television
- Excellent at maths, science and IT I suck at math, science and IT. I'm really good at arts & crafts
- Unable to understand or express feelings, lack of emotion I do not fit that description
- Brilliant at memorizing facts, numbers and train/bus routes and schedules I remember facts about my own interests I'm not into train/bus schedules.
- Lack of empathy I have lots of empathy the world over.
- Undateable Quite frankly, I don't give a damn.
- Follows rigid routines, has meltdowns if unable to I follow rigid routines but I don't have meltdowns if I'm unable to
- Doesn't have a good relationship with NT parents or other NT family members This is a grey area for me. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

Prefer to be alone - absolutely, can’t completely relax with anyone else present

Completely socially clueless - not completely, only somewhat

Too honest, cannot lie - I have no problem telling lies that really are completely harmless (for example when I was in college, saying I had homework to do rather than saying that I didn’t have the wherewithal to go to a church group with someone that day), but more often in situations where a stereotypical Aspie would say something they shouldn’t, I just don’t say anything at all, or just shrug

Flaps hands and rocks - I’m pretty much constantly rocking at least a little, involuntary hand flap when I’m very excited or frustrated

Nerdy - not particularly

Special interest with trains - never had any special interests with trains or anything even remotely similar

Excellent at math, science, and IT - I love science but am terrible at anything involving math or technology (including math-heavy sciences), probably have dyscalculia

Unable to understand or express feelings, lack of emotions - not at all

Brilliant at memorizing facts, numbers and train/bus routes and schedules - I’ve always had a poor memory for numbers and directions, but when I was a kid I had the stereotypical Aspie memory for everything else, lost it at some point during college somehow

Lack of empathy - I have many times more empathy than most NTs I know, but don’t always know how to express it

Undateable - seems that way (and yes, I’m female)

Follows rigid routines, has meltdowns if unable to - I only have loose routines, am pretty adaptable if I have advance warning, usually shut down instead of melting down, might get to that point if plans for a day are changed without at least a warning the day before

Doesn’t have a close relationship with NT parents or other NT family members - probably have about average closeness to my family, who are all NT, am a bit clingy with my mom because she still sort of serves as a buffer between me and the NT world

And am prone to over-explaining, rambling, and otherwise overly long answers and replies

- Prefer to be alone-Yes but this wasn't true when I was real little but as I got older, this became true because it got harder and harder to have friends and be with people
- Completely socially clueless-no, I used to be as a kid, was very naïve
- Too honest, cannot lie-I can be too honest at times and always had this problem but I could always lie, lie to try and avoid getting into trouble, I can lie to save my ass and avoid any embarrassment.
- Flaps hands and rocks-Yes to rocking, no to flapping
- Nerdy-Do glasses count? This has been described for me, I look like a nerd
- Special interests with trains-Never had this interest
- Excellent at maths, science and IT-Nope
- Unable to understand or express feelings, lack of emotion-I have always been expressive and my anxiety makes me express it but for feelings, I was in occupational therapy to learn to recognize my own before it was too late and I am already screaming and crying and having tantrums and no one saw it coming
- Brilliant at memorizing facts, numbers and train/bus routes and schedules- no
- Lack of empathy-yes
- Undateable-no, I have dated guys, I had to find weird ones
- Follows rigid routines, has meltdowns if unable to-No
- Doesn't have a good relationship with NT parents or other NT family members-I am not estranged from anyone in my family and I would say my relationships with my family is normal, I have not been disowned or exiled from anyone in my family

Wow, reading these posts have been very interesting.

If I were to describe myself briefly, basically I would say "eccentric, hyperactive, anxious and absent-minded". These characteristics don't really scream out autism to others.

- Prefer to be alone To some extent, but not always.
- Completely socially clueless No. I don't think I'm too bad at reading facial expressions, body language and tone of voice and I'm not awful at realizing when people try to hint at something or imply something. However, in some situations I'm really bad at figuring out in real time how to react. And I lack some experience I should have at my age.
- Too honest, cannot lie I can lie.
- Flaps hands and rocks No.
- Nerdy I guess there might be some nerdy component to my personality, but I'm not a stereotypical nerd and my main interests aren't stereotypical nerdy ones either.
- Special interests with trains No.
- Excellent at maths, science and IT Fairly good, but no, not excellent.
- Unable to understand or express feelings, lack of emotion I do not lack emotions and I understand my emotions, but I'm not good at expressing them. I'm not sure if that's an autism thing though or because expressing emotions usually wasn't a good idea during my childhood.
- Brilliant at memorizing facts, numbers and train/bus routes and schedules No.
- Lack of empathy I used to feel too much empathy. Now I don't feel as much, but I don't lack it.
- Undateable I was undatable but mainly due to social anxiety issues not due to autism. Now I am undatable for several reasons but mostly because I no longer want to.
- Follows rigid routines, has meltdowns if unable to I function better if I follow a routine but I don't like rigid routines and I don't tend to have meltdowns.
- Doesn't have a good relationship with NT parents or other NT family members I'm not sure if I have NT parents, but I suspect at least my mother is not NT. My siblings are probably not either. As for how good the relationship is, that's complicated.

- Prefer to be alone Depends on the context. Do I prefer to be alone because humans annoy me and I don't wanna deal with them now or that currently humans bore me?
But more like in my case that I do not fear being alone.
- Completely socially clueless No. I'd be clueless alright, if I'm constantly bombarded with overwhelm and confusion and too busy fighting internal sensations like exhaustion and wrestle my head's thoughts.
- Too honest, cannot lie No. I can lie -- play my part, keep secrets, blunt sharp remarks. How good or bad depends.
- Flaps hands and rocks Not specifically. And covertly. It helps me. But it doesn't become uncontrollable.
- Nerdy I can be. Except that's not how I aspire to.
- Special interests with trains Hell no. And in real life, I've yet to met any autistic who actually does.
- Excellent at maths, science and IT Ah, this fits me somewhat, if only I'm fully built for it. Or at least I do tried and aspired to be. But no one helped me to flourish in these areas and too busy fighting or chasing something else, so...
- Unable to understand or express feelings, lack of emotion No. I even wish this is true in my case. I'm neither an alexithymic nor the insensitive type nor am brought up that way.
- Brilliant at memorizing facts, numbers and train/bus routes and schedules No. Memorization is one of my weaknesses. Even when if it involves my special interests; one of the things I rarely hoard is facts and stats.
- Lack of empathy Again, I wish.
- Undateable If so, I intended to. Not interested.
- Follows rigid routines, has meltdowns if unable to Can never afford routines. Had that been that case to me, I would've killed myself in a fit long time ago.
- Doesn't have a good relationship with NT parents or other NT family members On contrary, I do. Just not 'typical'.


Not very aspergian. But definitely not very allistic either.
Not very male, not very female either.

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Prefer to be alone: yes, most of the time
Completely socially clueless: yes to an extent
Too honest, cannot lie: I can lie, but I would never normally do so
Flaps hands and rocks: I use ribbons as a stim, I rock sometimes
Nerdy: yes. Although my family are too.
Special interests with trains: yes, although that's not my only one to any ex
Excellent at maths, science and IT: yes.
Unable to understand or express feelings, lack of emotion: no.
Brilliant at memorizing facts, numbers and train/bus routes and schedules: depends on what I'm memorising.
Lack of empathy: definitely not.
Undateable: never had a partner. Not because of dateability though.
Follows rigid routines, has meltdowns if unable to: I possess some degree of flexibility. If I really want to keep to a routine though, I will panic if things go awry.
Doesn't have a good relationship with NT parents or other NT family members: not true. I have a good relationship with my family.

- Prefer to be alone
yes absolutely

- Completely socially clueless
when it comes to authority im brilliant but just ordinary social chitchat i dont care for

- Too honest, cannot lie
i can lie when i want to but not to save other peoples feelings

- Flaps hands and rocks
no i dont do these stims

- Nerdy
no im not at all nerdy

- Special interests with trains
trains interest me as much as a turd in the toilet.
I like cooking

- Excellent at maths, science and IT
Im dyslexic so no

- Unable to understand or express feelings, lack of emotion
i can express my feelings when having a meltdown otherwise im not very good at articulating my feelings

- Brilliant at memorizing facts, numbers and train/bus routes and schedules
i can memorize bus routes easy but after all i am a bus driver

- Lack of empathy
i dont even know

- Undateable
because of my appearance it doesnt take much for guys to be attracted to me iv always had many guys after me and im now married to one

- Follows rigid routines, has meltdowns if unable to
i like routine yes and i can get upset if changed

- Doesn't have a good relationship with NT parents or other NT family members
im not that close to my mother.my father died years ago.im not that close to my sister either