Do people think you're rude but can't really explain how?

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maybe people don't want to tell you that you are rude when you ask them about it, because they think you already know the answer to your question, or that you should know it without them telling it to you.

It's sometimes just the way that you are speaking. People are recognizing the emotions of others in their voices. If you are talking to them then they expect to find positivity towards them in your voice. But people on the spectrum often don't realize the nonverbal stuff in the intonation and inflection of other people voices nor do the put themself such nonverbal stuff into it.
Try to be never accusing. Become aware that NT people are picking up your feeling in you voice and assume that it's your feelings towards them. Try to keep a good mood and a positive feeling towards your opposite if talking to others. Any kind of negative feelings or negative expectations towards your opposite are expressing in your voice and may be received as being rude. Verbal language is more then just words.

Practically always.  The word "arrogant" is also used often.

Maybe it is because I will ask for proof before accepting an unproven claim, or maybe because I refuse to let other people do my thinking for me, or maybe because I do not necessarily argue as much as I openly point out where the other person is wrong.

Regardless, my wife has suggested to me that if I want to get along with others, I should first go along with the crowd -- "Go along to get along" -- but I will never compromise my standards just to make more friends.