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shortfatbalduglyman
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28 Feb 2021, 7:28 pm

when rosencrantz and guildenstern were alive, they had the nerve to tell me that i was lazy when i did not do something. for example, wash dishes.

but all the effort in the world gets nowhere

without efficiency

zero outcome



kraftiekortie
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28 Feb 2021, 8:38 pm

You know your Shakespeare!



Markasp
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03 Mar 2021, 12:24 am

I get accused so much, mainly by doctors working for the NHS but it's all assumption based from them though. I explain what I want to achieve and about the difficulty of my situation but they always have an assumption that I'm fine and I'm purely making excuses to not do any of it.

The reality is very different though. I've tried so hard over so many years that I'm literally exhausted. It's been that thing where I really try and end up hitting a brick wall with no way through, so I try something else, same outcome of hitting a brick wall or barrier.

Over time I ended up completely out of ideas because I've exhausted all possible options. I badly need extra resources to break through the brick wall, but because they constantly assume I'm fine and making excuses, I'm never given any.

I just wish I could have 1 hour with an open minded GP who can truly understand. Yet it's the same old 10 minutes with a GP each time, where unless you have physical disabilities or are mentally ill to a point of hallucinating, the outcome is always the same where I'm fine and just lazy/not trying hard enough.



Dear_one
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03 Mar 2021, 4:39 am

Markasp wrote:
I just wish I could have 1 hour with an open minded GP who can truly understand. Yet it's the same old 10 minutes with a GP each time, where unless you have physical disabilities or are mentally ill to a point of hallucinating, the outcome is always the same where I'm fine and just lazy/not trying hard enough.


I have had many full hours with an open minded counsellor, but have never met anyone who "can truly understand." It is the flip side of us not understanding how to get past our social barriers.



Jayo
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03 Mar 2021, 8:09 am

I suspect that a lot of the accusations of "laziness" are just another form of NT doublespeak where you need to read between the lines. It's just a shaming of the subject into their not conforming with the "operating system" of the majority. Also, the ugly cousin of this accusation: "you just don't apply yourself" could just be a reflection of the Aspergian gap between intellectual smarts and crystallized knowledge (i.e. practical ability).

In general, neurotypical society seems to think on a visceral level that the mentally deficient / mentally ill must be "parasites" because hey, after all, they're not in a wheelchair or have a guide dog with white cane :roll:



SharonB
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03 Mar 2021, 8:27 am

Dear_one wrote:
...flip side of us not understanding how to get past our social barriers.

If it's not laziness, then I'm supposed to not overthink, not care, not try so hard and then POOF! no barrier. Ummm, that results in isolation. It's like the anxiety thing - I'm supposed to keep pushing through the anxiety and collecting evidence of success and then it will go away. Ummm, I have decades of that, but the high anxiety is still there Every Time. (Exploring ASD-related PTSD.)



Dear_one
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03 Mar 2021, 11:15 am

SharonB wrote:
Dear_one wrote:
...flip side of us not understanding how to get past our social barriers.

If it's not laziness, then I'm supposed to not overthink, not care, not try so hard and then POOF! no barrier. Ummm, that results in isolation. It's like the anxiety thing - I'm supposed to keep pushing through the anxiety and collecting evidence of success and then it will go away. Ummm, I have decades of that, but the high anxiety is still there Every Time. (Exploring ASD-related PTSD.)


NTs don't know how they do their social thinking. It is subconscious, and kicked in automatically for them. However, of all my encounters, only a few have been total disasters, and reflecting on that slowly reduces my PTSD, and helps me avoid problem areas.



Crystal1414
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04 Mar 2021, 10:17 pm

Yes. People think I'm lazy because I sleep a lot. I get tired really easily. People think I'm lazy because I do not have a job and I am 20. I also have a mental illness.



DuckHairback
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05 Mar 2021, 6:38 am

yes, but I'm not. I always doing something. It just might not be what other people think I should be doing.


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