Has anyone "NT-splained" stuff to you?

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Earthbound_Alien
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23 Mar 2021, 8:16 am

They know everything

They are always right

They are the only humans that are correct and alive

Let them make mistakes until they learn otherwise.

In other words if people want to be idiots you don't have to do a god damned thing. Just let them carry on until they natually reveal they are idiots.

If you give someone enough rope they will eventually hang themselves

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In shot you don't have to do anything...



IsabellaLinton
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23 Mar 2021, 8:38 am

Mostly NT women. They like to explain that I should ignore my autism, or push through it, and act like them.

They seem to think I should / can outthink it with CBT so I can enjoy a more NT social life.

The fact I don't want that, means nothing to them.


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adoylelb90815
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23 Mar 2021, 12:36 pm

Caveworld wrote:
I think the worst case of NT-splaining, from my experience, is when they treat you and talk to you like you’re a child.
We are so often infantilised....


I agree, that's the worst form of NT-splaining and I once quit a volunteer position because people did that all the time.



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23 Mar 2021, 12:44 pm

Caveworld wrote:
I think the worst case of NT-splaining, from my experience, is when they treat you and talk to you like you’re a child...
... in that sing-song, smarmy tone of voice they also use on demented adults.
Caveworld wrote:
We are so often infantilized...
I think I would rather be fetishized...



Dear_one
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23 Mar 2021, 2:36 pm

adoylelb90815 wrote:
Caveworld wrote:
I think the worst case of NT-splaining, from my experience, is when they treat you and talk to you like you’re a child.
We are so often infantilised....


I agree, that's the worst form of NT-splaining and I once quit a volunteer position because people did that all the time.


Old folks get that too. John Duffie drove to visit a friend in a care home, but a nurse insisted on showing him to the room instead of just giving him the number. It can get to be automatic. One young executive invited his boss' family for dinner. Afterwards, he told his wife that the food had been fine, but asked why did she only pour half-cups for adults to drink?



funeralxempire
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23 Mar 2021, 2:44 pm

You mean like when they start off with how everyone's a little bit autistic to dismiss a genuine concern?



Dear_one
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23 Mar 2021, 2:50 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
You mean like when they start off with how everyone's a little bit autistic to dismiss a genuine concern?

Gad, I've never heard that. I'd pull out a penny and a dollar, and ask them if they can tell the difference in quantity.



IsabellaLinton
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23 Mar 2021, 6:07 pm

Dear_one wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
You mean like when they start off with how everyone's a little bit autistic to dismiss a genuine concern?

Gad, I've never heard that. I'd pull out a penny and a dollar, and ask them if they can tell the difference in quantity.


When they tell me that, I say something akin to "Wow - I didn't know that your little bit of autism was diagnosed! Who did you see for assessment?"

That normally shuts them up.

It's a spectrum of autism, not a spectrum of humanity at large.


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funeralxempire
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23 Mar 2021, 6:31 pm

I just explain the concept of diagnostic threshold and that while the traits themselves are normal traits those who meet the criteria deal with enough of those traits being severe enough to be disruptive and problematic.



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23 Mar 2021, 6:40 pm

I get condescending responses from people all the time, because they either think I'm not paying attention or that I don't understand what they're saying (people say I look confused or like I'm staring off into space all the time lol).

If I know what they're talking about I just ignore them or tell them I already know, and if I'm feeling particularly spicy I'll tell them to not be condescending or I'll just ignore their "help" from then on. lmao



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23 Mar 2021, 6:43 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
You mean like when they start off with how everyone's a little bit autistic to dismiss a genuine concern?

Whenever someone says this, or straight up tells me ASD/ADHD/OCD isn't real, I ask them how long they've been studying psychology for, and if they have any actual sources they can give me that disprove the existence of those disorders. People either get very flustered or quickly change the subject, which is hilarious.



cberg
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23 Mar 2021, 6:45 pm

I'm pretty sure there's nobody in my life who doesn't do this. :(


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IsabellaLinton
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23 Mar 2021, 6:46 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
I just explain the concept of diagnostic threshold and that while the traits themselves are normal traits those who meet the criteria deal with enough of those traits being severe enough to be disruptive and problematic.




... and lifelong, because it's developmental from childhood.


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30 Mar 2021, 8:51 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
You mean like when they start off with how everyone's a little bit autistic to dismiss a genuine concern?

Whenever someone says this, or straight up tells me ASD/ADHD/OCD isn't real, I ask them how long they've been studying psychology for, and if they have any actual sources they can give me that disprove the existence of those disorders. People either get very flustered or quickly change the subject, which is hilarious.



HA HA HA!! ! Love it!! ! :D
Of course, the subtext here is that people deny the existence of those disorders because of the stigma/taboo factor of mental disorders, that "polite society" doesn't discuss such things out in the open...so the implicit expectation is that you change the subject... while I personally make an effort to pick up and go with the flow of subtext (through years of trial and error), this is one area where I will voluntarily make an exception. I would intentionally ignore that subtext of pretending ASD/HFA doesn't exist, b/c it only benefits them, not me. :x

Of course, if some onlooker tried to "NT-splain" to me after such an exchange what the subtext was, and how I was "supposed to just acknowledge their denial and move on", I would just ask them rhetorically: "Why? Who benefits?? I'm not being cynical - I'm just asking."



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30 Mar 2021, 8:55 am

Fnord wrote:
Caveworld wrote:
I think the worst case of NT-splaining, from my experience, is when they treat you and talk to you like you’re a child...
... in that sing-song, smarmy tone of voice they also use on demented adults.
Caveworld wrote:
We are so often infantilized...
I think I would rather be fetishized...


Well, all that's been said here is consistent with my theory that those of us with ASD/HFA tend to get lumped in under the general rubric of mental illness or mental deficiency, when our condition is technically not the same - but try explaining that to the average NT :roll:



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30 Mar 2021, 8:56 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
You mean like when they start off with how everyone's a little bit autistic to dismiss a genuine concern?
Whenever someone says this, or straight up tells me ASD/ADHD/OCD isn't real, I ask them how long they've been studying psychology for, and if they have any actual sources they can give me that disprove the existence of those disorders. People either get very flustered or quickly change the subject, which is hilarious.
I just say, "Evidence, please?" and let it go at that.