Do you find it hard to respond when a friend shares feelings

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When people are allowed to. Express their emotions with complete animinity, can sometimes be at their most vulnerable of the human kind , provided your not dealing with some kind of a troll . Just a thought.

Thank you for the links, Mona. And I'll look into "Nonviolent Communication" - my wife would be willing to try anything that might help us.

Here is another thought: It would do well for some people if they would get help for their problems instead of making the sharing of their negative feelings the be-all and do-all of their miserable lives.

I mean, after literally decades of sharing nothing but "nobody likes me / everybody hates me" complaints, some people should realize that it is their negative attitudes that make them unpopular, and that they would be better off to do something constructive about their problems instead.

But what do I know?  I am just someone who actively avoids sad, lonely, and miserable people whenever possible.

I ask my friends what they need. It's easier than guesswork. Sometimes they want advice, sometimes just support such as "I'm sorry that happened ... That sounds really upsetting ..." (etc.), sometimes they want someone to just listen while they rant verbally or in written form. Sometimes they could use a favour, such as me doing something like delivering a meal or watching their pet / child, or driving them somewhere.

I have a friend who doesn't like certain types of responses, or very many questions. I've learned what that person needs in a friendship and how to support them without causing trigger reactions.

Most people don't expect us to assume / mirror their emotions, and they don't expect us to understand exactly how it feels. I think that's an overgeneralisation. Most people just want to know they have a safe space to vent their feelings, so they don't feel as if they're alone.

Yes, that would be nice ... but where can be found such a place?

Pretty much anywhere, if both people are kind to each other.

I've made some of my best friends on WP, if that's what you're getting at.

That was not what I was getting at; in fact, WP being a "safe place" had not even occurred to me, what with that clique of bullies that always seems to politicize threads whenever a discussion starts getting interesting.

I didn't necessarily mean on the public forum itself. I meant the friendships that develop off site, or for some people on PM and other forms of communication with friends.

I would hope that bullying in fora like The Haven has stopped. It occurred last year, but I think they tightened up the rules to protect people's mental health and make WP more of a safe space overall.

Lots of friendships are made on WP.

You get the political stuff, sure.

But, most of the time, most of the people here are supportive. Even some of the "political" ones.

We do not seem to be accessing the same WrongPlanet website.

Of course, places like PPR and News generally are not "supportive." I would agree with that.

Even "Love and Dating" is sometimes supportive.....

I find WP a very supportive site, and I've been posting here for 11 years. There has been some unpleasantness I admit, but that's typical of humans. But generally speaking this site is pretty supportive and I would highly recommend it to others.

Usually the drama all happens in the PPR section and a couple of other sections too.

If this site wasn't supportive, then I'd be afraid to share all my thoughts and feelings here.
I know a lot of times if you post a bad situation you had with an NT, most posters would take the NT's side even if it's clearly stated that the NT was a jerk, but this doesn't happen all the time.

That is included in all the usual advice for the depressed - avoid other depressed people, but with everyone avoiding depressed people, they get isolation as well. Louis CK claims that nobody will go with someone less attractive than themselves, but that's mathematically impossible, unless beauty is mostly charm.

And avoiding people leading to depression ,leading to more depression....so the happy people being isolated
Possibly becoming depressed , and so goes the circle . Hmmmmm.... ????? .
Perhaps if not happy can be at least charming .

People who are depressed sometimes get angry at you if you try to dissuade them from their depression.

Depression is clinical, though. You can't dissuade a person from being depressed, just like you can't dissuade them from being autistic and / or having mental illness.

Depression isn't the same thing as being "sad" about a situation, or needing to see the bright side.

I know people mean well, but it's proven that the worst thing you can do for a depressed person is to tell them to cheer up, or point out that they shouldn't be depressed. I doubt anyone chooses to be depressed. There are no quick fixes.

(I'm not criticising anyone for trying, but it's the truth).