Peoples reactions to your stimming

Post Reply New Topic

I have a blanket I've had since I was a newborn that I do similar things to, like rubbing it against my face/hands/etc. I think for me it is sensory seeking behavior and is a stim.

I also usually have to sleep with said blanket and become very upset when I can't find it, even though I'm an adult. I go into "panic mode" and will tear my room apart for it. I can sleep without it, but it's hard. lol

My stims don't look too unusual,
but I have been asked to stop bouncing my leg by more than one person, it seems to be off-putting.
If nobody mentions it I'll keep on doing it, but if it bothers them I'll try to stop.
(I say "try to" because I can only stop it when I'm thinking about it, and the chances are it will start up again when my attention is diverted).

And I remember one time I was swaying a bit from one foot to the other and someone said it was making them sea-sick, haha.
I said I was hyperactive (I'm not actually, but hyperactivity seemed an easier explanation than autism in the moment).
Their response was basically that they didn't "believe in" conditions like hyperactivity.
(So it was probably a good move not to mention I was autistic, haha).

I'd like to say I don't care what people think, but to be honest I do try quite hard not to stim in work situations like meetings, for obvious reasons.

I found the same in that trying to stop stims that automatically break out takes soo much mental effort (Which is exhausting by the way), that it is easier for me (If I had the nerve to do so) to get up, walk out the room and not be there at all. (Which now I am an older adult I would more likely want to do then suffer by mentally trying to watch my every move. If it means missing out in something then so be it).

Yeah, I do actually walk out on things, it's my way of coping.
If there's something like a work party or dinner, with lots of people and noise, you can tell when I've reached my limit - it's when I've got up and walked out

Often when I have reched that point and I realize, I do not have the luxury of walking out as I go first into a prtial shutdown where it would be half crawling out and if there is a chair or something in my way I could not move it, or I will get a full on shutdown repeating where I am on the floor trapped thee going in and out of shutdowns until a bit at a time I can move until I finally am out and collapsed on the floor with a full on shutdown and usually outside in the freezing cold or rain or both for around an hour and yet this is preferable to the panic of being inside with everything going on... (And people trying to help will see me freezing cold and soaking wet and want to drag me back into the building and I can't communicate much (Only some words. I can't usually explain things) to them so I can end up repeating the shutdowns again and again!)
I have learned to avoid such places unless I can see an east exit. The problem is my Mum will want to squash me in an isle if an elderly person wants to sit on an edge, and often ask me to help elderly people right when I am in partial shutdown mode, (Which when others suddenly ask me to do things that can easily push me into a shutdown as it involves a sudden unplanned change) and I can get blamed by others for going into shutdowns as they see it as my way of avoiding helping out, so right while I am in a shutdown on the floor I have people like my brother saying things like "You always do this to avoid helping out" and while I admit I don't have any desire to help while in a shutdown, it is not to avoid helping out, so most of the time I have tried to hide the fact I am shutting down or in a partial shutdown by clinging onto chairs and wedging myself in such a say that when I loose all control of my body it just looks like I am slouching... However, it is worse doing this for me then being on the floor, so if I can, I will go down onto the floor early as it means I pull out of the shutdown earlier and am far less likely to have repeat shutdowns.

If I can remove myself from the enviroment before I shutdown, I have a chance to recover and avoid the horrible shutdown experience altogether!

Yeah, I don't get such a strong shutdown.
Normally I'll start "zoning out", which involves not being able to follow conversations enough to respond and just kind of staring into space.
If I catch myself zoning out I know it's time to get out of there!