Forgetting Holidays

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The OP has two basic choices follow his desire ignore the holidays at the risk of people getting mad at him or use a calendar program to notify him. Most calendar programs give the option of multiple reminders and reminders of at least a week in advance.

As for forgetting holidays, it is not an Asperger trait per se. What is a trait is hyper-focusing on interests to the point of forgetting other things. It does not matter what is the thing forgotten about.

I have to be reminded of every single family members birthday and every single bank holiday otherwise I'll forget. It might just be that I have a terrible memory.

Aha! Now it's clearer to me why the word "holiday" was in the subject line:

"The word holiday has differing connotations in different regions. In the United States the word is used exclusively to refer to the nationally, religiously or culturally observed day(s) of rest or celebration, or the events themselves, whereas in the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth nations, the word may refer to the period of time where leave from one's duties has been agreed, and is used as a synonym to the US preferred vacation."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holiday

I don't forget people's birthdays. I do feel gutted that I can't afford to buy gifts for people at the moment, but I do buy birthday cards to send. I enjoy choosing birthday cards in shops.
(Shops, you know, those buildings you physically walk into to choose things instead of on a computer, because I know that not everyone these days is old school like me).