Introduction and advice

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As others have said Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I counsel patience, it took you 2+ decades of over masking, it is going to take time to unlearn it.

Step 1 is an attitude change. It is ok to be selfish to a degree. Wanting to please others, pleasing others is a good thing. However, it is a problem when it becomes your sole purpose in life. When you know yourself better, you will probably be more of a help to others.

Being a bit more selfish could mean spending more time on your interests. It means more "me time" so you can explore things. Some things you won't like, other things will fascinate you. This is the process of self-discovery and like anything else, the more time and effort you put into it the more you will get out of it. Being a bit selfish as much as you can often mean not doing things you know is not right for you.

We all have obligations so I am not advocating dropping out of life for years on end.

Good luck.