Self-awareness relative to age range?

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Self-awareness as in awareness of how others view me is still not great at 34, but improving as the years go by. It's hard to tell though if it's not just old-fashion "maturing". In any case, I'd say I first became aware of how others perceived me roughly at age 12, but my compass was way off up until I exited my 20s.

My personality is still changing, so I'm (hopefully) more socially agreeable now than before. I was very arrogant when I was a teen.

If one can maintain a positive trajectory perhaps benefits can be reaped socially somewhere in one's 50s?

As soon as I entered preschool, I already have the self awareness of not being in control.
In which only brought me further frustration and not being in control.

By the time I went in elementary, I've been aware of how others are perceiving me -- it is pride.
In appearance, I'm aware but usually do not care because aesthetics isn't the priority.
Again, I do not have the level of control that I've been demanding myself.
I'm aware enough of my own incompetence -- i just do not accept it what it can be derived from whatever absurd standards I had.

And sometime before I entered high school, it just got worse.
All because I do not have the control. That's why I had been wishing to be less sensitive and hoping to be less reactive.


So far for most of my life, I've done nothing but trying to manage myself and fail whatever I've been intending.
Because I've been trying to follow a standard I had imposed myself.


If my self awareness is leveled with ​self control, I'd probably never burnt out my whole life -- almost do not have to deny or accept around the idea of myself.

If my self control is leveled with my self awareness, I would already know what to do with executive function issues -- regardless of identity denial or acceptance, the conditional acceptance is mostly fulfilled regardless.

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^^ Exactly! When execution and self awareness are out of whack, I'm painfully self-aware or woefully stalled.

I was always miserable trying to figure out the world and my place in it. You know- trying to decode and emulate social behaviors. I’m guessing that isn’t something I need to explain for y’all.
After I got divorced (age 31), I started seeing a psychiatrist. After a few sessions he had me take a bunch of tests. When he was explaining that I have high functioning autism/aspergers, he was very upset, and I think he felt bad for me. I was relieved. All of my struggles to fit in and understand was due to the way I am. Rather than it being my fault for missing the day in school (or life) when the rules were handed out, I am me and the rest of the world is bound by rules that I’m not. After that, I was able to be comfortable being myself. If people didn’t appreciate my way of doing things- I just didn’t care. I also got better at masking at work - because I was aware of what the differences are and why they exist.
It could be described as shifting the focus of my differences from internal to external. Consequently, once I was able to understand the reasons for my awkwardness and lack of social understand was not my fault- I became more self-aware in both senses that this discussion board has used for the term.