Wish there was a diagram for social interactions

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I just do it. I mean, I am not that blunt to not realise in very straightforward situations that words I am about to speak will hurt another person. But if I consider them true and needed to be said ...simply override this feeling, go into kind of "execute instruction set mode" and say them. That's all.

But for an empath like you, it will be obviously not possible as your own emotions are too impactful and intense to allow you to simply cut them off.

i choose my battles carefully.

Sometimes I hate being an empath. I can physically feel everyone's moods and emotions and it can be really distracting. I wish I could just say what I think and not be affected by other's reactions. I just care too much.

better to be the way you are than to care too little.

Better for who?

From society's perspective, yes, people like Joe are welcome and it is better to have them than the opposite. Because they can often relate, can provide emotional support and do not spark conflicts by pushing their own agenda most of the time. There's other side of the coin, though - their empathy can be exploited, leading to abuse. They can be manipulated using their emotions (like sense of guilt). So yeah, for socity it is better, but focus is only on what said person can give or what can be taken from them.

I think that it is clear from Joe's posts that it is whole another story for individual. Her level of empathy and how emotional she is obviously is a burden to her, making a negative impact on her mental health. Especially considering that she is a neurodivergent person, who isn't as fit to interacting with other humans as NT ones are. This adds a whole another layer of stress on top. In addition, the fact that she cannot really speak her mind because fear of hurting someone (or sense of guilt from doing so) is paralyzing her, may lead to situations where she won't be able to stand up for herself. It makes her a preffered target for toxic people who will want to get something for themselves at her expense.

Overall, I think she would be better off the other way, for her own sake. Definitely healthier for her mental health. For sake of people around her it is most likely better the way she is now, but this comes with a high price for her.

Thank you for the replies, it helps to hear that you all have difficulties too, though I wish we didn't.

chibimaddy, that is a good way of going about it, just waiting until more true intentions come out.

I often tend to be quiet rather than talk much (especially around those who aren't in my comfortable group of people which is like maybe 3 people including my husband lol), often just because I don't know what to add to the talk or it moves too fast and then I fall behind, or I misinterpret!

It's really shocking how often I'm saying to myself, "thank God I didn't say that!" after I've heard a little more info.... Lol Honestly I'm amazed at how wrong I am all the time, & for years I thought I was always getting things right & everyone was being unreasonable.