Expressing emotions feels fake

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I express too much of it instead.
Spent more energy stopping mine instead.
Too emotional than I would've. I don't like it. It's annoying.
The emotional culture doesn't help.

So... I'm internally so sensitive...
I see two sources of emotions -- one is more of a body and mind's plaything and are more like a list of symptoms and sensations, another is more like a strange translation between mind and thought to bodily symptoms and has funny contexts which is basically psychological dramas.

Ones that I wish I could regulate -- both highs and lows -- just like any more than I wish I could regulate my sensory systems.

I don't express to please anyone.
I express things so my head and my body can finally just stop whining.

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I am drawn to the contemplative life because silence is my natural form of expression and everything else is a very poor translation.